tried to rationalize someones crime

18+ i know sting operations dont use actual children but idk if it was an intrusive thought or i actually believe “oh its not a real kid” or “they arent that young” i feel so disgusting writing this out bc i dont actually believe it i wish those operations would go down more to have protected me from predators online too so i dont actually believe it but i dont know if me rationalizing it was some compulsion because i fear im like the offender or just a hyperspecific intrusive thought. the latter would definitely be preferable but im so scared rn