Asking for Support…

Hey guys! I am very new to this site and very new to OCD (I was only diagnosed a week ago) but now I’m starting to realize it has severely impacted my life for the last three years. I’ve been getting progressively worse for the last six months and absolutely spiraling for the last week. I’m constantly disassociating and so scared all of the time. I’m literally terrified that it’s never going to get any better. I’ve been prescribed Prozac (please don’t scare me) but I’m terrified it’s going to make things worse…I haven’t been able to attend school or work, I haven’t been able to eat or shower or get out of bed. I’m so exhausted and so scared. I just want things to get better. Please please tell me your positive stories or offer some words of encouragement, even if you’ve only just started treatment. Thank you guys.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

#1 Hey Jannine! I would love to encourage you with my story. It’s dark and painful, but it is abounding with Hope! It’s just going to take me a hot minute to share lol

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

#4 Yet deep down, I genuinely wanted to live. I fled home to California to my family that I was isolated from. They could clearly see I was dealing with a mental health issue. I meet with a psychologist who immediately recognized that I was dealing with OCD. It took me four months of meeting weekly with her to start to believe that it was OCD and that I wasn’t deceiving everyone around me. After four months in, my family had an intervention and lovingly offered to be a care team and asked if I would be willing to trust them with my care. Up until that point, I was still depending so much on my compulsions.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

#5 I took a step of faith and decided to trust these people that God placed in my life. What I was doing wasn’t helping me. The next week, I was prescribed Prozac and I was terrified to take it. I thought I was going to mask some sort of spiritual problem. For years, I wouldn’t take medication for anything because I foolishly believed that it would harm me, but I decided to trust. First it was 20, then 40, then 60, and I worked my way up to 80mg. It took me a few months of taking it daily, but my friends and family and more importantly myself noticed a difference. For the first time in years I started smiling again. Don’t get me wrong I still felt extremely anxious at times, and it’s not a one pill that fixes everything. As Dr. Schwartz says in his book Brainlock, the medication is like floaties that you use when learning how to swim. Swimming is doing exposure and response prevention therapy. My understanding is that the serotonin in the Prozac makes your thoughts feel just a bit less sticky.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

#6 The Prozac did not make anything worse for me, it made things much better. My brain and body were in hyperdrive and needed help slowing down. Before taking Prozac, I couldn’t hold a job or go to school. It’s been over a year now and I’m still taking Prozac and I will be for a long time. Thank God I listened to my dad mom and aunts and uncles and took it. The real power and change came from not the medication, but doing ERP. I had to experience my obsessions, feel the anxiety rise, and teach my body and mind not to respond anymore with the compulsions. At the end of the day that is what truly the problem is. Not the fear you feel or the obsessive thoughts you have, but the compulsions you rely on (I read that someone on the International OCD Foundations website). I read Brainlock and did all sorts of ERP with a therapist and on my own. 8 months after doing all of this, I started to slowly reintroduce myself to my sons life through videos, letters, care packages, face time calls, I in January returning to Hawaii and visited my son. Here is a picture of us during that time. None of it would have been possible without Prozac, ERP with professionals and resources like NOCD and the IOCDF.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

#7 okay, I tried and the picture won’t post lol There is hope. Your life is just beginning. In fact, you are on a journey right now taking it back. Believe me, even if you can’t see it now, your best days are ahead of you and not before long you are going to be sharing with others your encouraging stories. Listen to the professionals on NOCD and IOCDF. Read Brainlock. Get in a peer support group (on the IOCDF’s website), get a NOCD specialist, take the Prozac.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

Haha here is a picture of a FaceTime I did today with my son. I’m living in Hawaii now and I’m still learning on how to live with OCD and step toward my values. It’s a lifelong disorder and a long path, but man it’s worth it! Who sings Christmas carols in April? This kid and me his greatful dada!

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

Last thing, I dare you to do something fun tonight AND tomorrow. Something your OCD says you can’t enjoy anymore. Let me know what you end up doing! I’m going to eat something delicious tomorrow. Maybe cake? Pizza? Not sure.

Sami O

Date posted: 22h

I just started 6 days ago. “You can do hard things”. This phrase resonated with me, I hope it does for you too.

Jannine1122

Date posted: Yesterday

I know that everyone says not to isolate yourself and continue living your life it’s just SO hard…should I consider partial hospitalization?

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

@Jannine1122 #2 I had been suffering from undiagnosed OCD for years. In 2024, my life just completely fell apart. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had a severe case of harm and religious ocd. I was convinced that there was something morally or spiritually wrong with me. I thought I had evil desires and obviously dealt with these obsessive fears through some very destructive compulsions.

MichaelJH

Date posted: Yesterday

@Jannine1122 #3 My compulsions were isolating myself from the people that I loved. Which was my 1.5 year old son and my wife. I isolated myself from my church. I “fasted” from sleeping and food and water for destructive periods of time. I confessed supposed sins to friends and pastors and sadly with my wife (Ex) and mother in laws approval I fled to a 9 month religious camp that ultimately rejected psychology and essentially told me to engage in compulsions to get better. I left that program after four months in 2024 genuinely believing that I was going to kill myself after 2 days before I became demon possessed. It was a very dark time for me. I lost over 50 lbs and I did not have 50 lbs to lose. Hope is coming, I promise.

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