Don’t know what’s real.

OCD feeds on doubt. It makes you not trust your feelings. You’re mental checking which is a compulsion I do myself all the time. Dont play into your mind games because it will only make it worse. If you tell yourself “you love him” and analyze your body which is under attack by your nervous system it will most likely fail.

Hey this is ocd and I struggled with the same thing except in a different way I use to think do I believe in God and use to repeat and seek validation from others day and night and I would stress because it wasn’t something that I wanted but it was something I felt and it felt like I didn’t believe but now I’ve just trusted that I do believe and now I feel back to having good faith that’s not from you it’s ocd, I know the stress may feel incredibly heavy but know that Gods got you and that there’s others that are struggling even when you don’t see it. Something that helped me was letting the thought or feeling go away so I didn’t interact with it even if I wanted to and lived and went back to what I was doing for me this helped, another thing was trusting that I don’t actually feel this way and thinking normally about God not distorting him and even when I did and was in moments like oh I don’t believe or do I? I just trusted and remembered that it’s ocd and I do love and believe in him. iron sharpens iron try seeing some people speaking on what you have and you’ll see your not alone just seeing this brings that stress level lower already. If you’re here telling people about this then it’s ocd.

God bless you I love you Jesus loves you the most❤️

Im going through the EXACT situation as you right now 🥺 reading your post made me feel so validated ❤️ because I thought I was the only one feeling this way. I adore my boyfriend but those feelings come strong at times and I feel so disconnected. It’s a very hard fight but don’t make any decisions when you are high on emotions and in that panic mode! What has helped me a lot was when I would get that feeling or urge and my brain would begin to circle I just tell myself….im not going to attach meaning to this feeling and keep moving on! It’s helped me a lot! Also telling myself…I don’t need to figure this out right now in a firm voice helps. It feels scary and uncomfortable but after a while I notice myself calm down. I know how hard it can be because you become fully convinced it’s real, but we can’t let OCD run our lives 🥹 I decide who I love not ocd! you got this and we got this!!