Feeling anxious

We are hosting some friends while they are in between houses. They have 3 kids & a baby. I have 3 kids. I was helping get their kids situated for bed & offered to help with the baby. I'm always careful in wanting to express that I'm willing to help, but also want to make sure the mom feels comfortable. I offered to help with bath time & stuff. The mom let me & was thankful for my help. But then I got really concerned that what if me offering to help was weird or creepy. & then I got concerned that what if she thought I offered to help because I wanted to see her baby naked. I was only wanting to help because it was late & it's their first night here & I want them to feel settled. I feel a lot of anxiety about them ever thinking or perceiving me as a not safe person. I've struggled with POCD my entire adult life, so I'm always hyper analyzing how other people perceive me & don't want to come across as creepy. I trust my friends & at the same time find myself concerned that what if I go to bed & they go into my children's bedrooms. I originally felt very comfortable with the entire situation, but once they got here, all these anxieties popped up. I've been ruminating for a couple of hours & am hoping that processing this some on here will help me feel some relief. I've also been having a lot of harm OCD crop up (like "what if I throw this baby down the stairs" & then I back away & angle the baby away from the stairs because I'm anxious that I would lose control). Also contamination OCD cropping up because all of their belongings are in my house & it feels like it's contaminating everything. I didn't anticipate feeling this way. It's only the first night, so I'm hoping I feel relief as time goes on.

Hello777

Date posted: Yesterday

It’s interesting that you say this, because I have been dealing with a brother (and his wife) who have kind of been mean to me for most of their marriage. My brother told me once that they “like” to bully people. Anyone, one time when their kids were young, I offered to give them a bath. It’s just something I used to love to do with my daughter. Giving her a bath, making her all clean, braiding her hair, getting her in her pjs, reading her books. Those are just the things that I like to do. The wife looked at my brother like I was some kind of creep. In retrospect, it makes me angry all of things they used to say and do to people. I am such an honest person in that way and love kids and protect them. Maybe just forget that you said that to her and move on like it’s no big deal because it really isn’t. A lot of girls like to give baths. Just tell your mind to “knock it off” and move on! Also, they have a lot of kids and a baby so that is a very legitimate thing to help with! Regarding being worried for your kids, you could always sleep in their room with them if you are worried? I can understand being worried like if there was a strange person in the house or someone whom I didn’t trust well. It is a lot to offer to house people like that so maybe your contamination feelings have popped up because there are many people there all at once? Will they be there for a long time?

kaylouise

Date posted: 13h

@Hello777 They will be here for about a month and a half. I'm hoping the contamination OCD calms down. At the same time, it gives me a lot of ERP exercises haha. We have cameras up (visible to anyone), so we can always see if someone enters our children's bedrooms (it records). & I think I'm going to just try to manage as best I can even if OCD tries to ruin everything.

Hello777

Date posted: 13h

That’s perfect that you have cameras!! So you have nothing to really worry about! You can always talk to your kids too on the side about no one being allowed to touch them and to never feel afraid to tell you (even if the other person tries to scare them into not saying anything). I think that’s a good lesson to teach kids in general (not just about this situation)! I think having guests can be a fun and exciting time to grow, learn and have fun together! So I think once you all get a bit settled that you will start to enjoy it and the contamination thoughts will subside! They just might pop up because something new is happening and your brain doesn’t know what to do with it. I hope that anything I wrote to you was helpful and that I didn’t make you feel worse? I would love to have any feedback if anything that I said was helpful (or not helpful) as I want to be an encouragement to people and not the other way around! Thank you!! 🙏💖💖

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