I don't feel too great and it's not a physical thing. I don't have anxiety that much anymore it's a bit rare. I do worry I'm not worrying alot tho. It's like in between accepting what I worry about is true, and not wanting to ever even come close to anything like it. It feels weird and I fight myself alot (or my mind) on what is authentically my thoughts and what isn't. I went online (you know, like how your not supposed too) and I found an article about people with ocd might feel like they have to do what they worry about To get over all this. I don't want to and never will, but I still worry if I'm in that state or if I will get to that conclusion. I'm tired all the time and I'm never in the mood to do the things I loved before. I wish I knew how rough it was gunna be before it hit me. I left a job because it's super stressful and I'm unemployed rn. So I've been at home all day for a little while. So I came to a conclusion, I'm gunna try more. Ima go out, Try to find a job, try to take more than one shower every few days and I'm going to try to enjoy art again.I've come pretty far and im not stopping now. Anybody feel the same. Could always use the tips.

So I'm kind of fighting this baddle alone in my head, I feel like I'm going crazy now that I actually think about it, let me explain. So I think I have ocd but I'm confused, during the day it barely ever bothers me to the point where I barely notice it , but at night before I go to bed I feel like everything has to be in it's place. Nothing out of place, nothing out of place , nothing out of place. Everything has to be perfectly straight EVERY THING. Certain things I have to do a certain amount of times. Some things I MUST do everyday. I've tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just blow it off saying it's no big deal, they don't understand what I'm going through ,just to go to bed is at times like a warzone. I sometimes walk from my bathroom after brushing my teeth with my eyes closed so I can't see anything out of place because if I do it's like Domino's I see one thing after another that's out of place, some things idk why they look out of place and I spend a lot of time just moving them back and forth and back and forth till my brain finally sais it's fixed. I asked my dad if I could stay in his and mom's room for the night, because I am less urged to stay up all night cleaning when I'm distracted by other people or when I know "Hay if u stay up cleaning their going to be Mad at you". And it sounds wierd coming from your 14 year old daughter to ask such a thing, at this age you should be old enough to manage your own nightmares you know what I mean?? He told me to ask mom , mostly because he was half asleep and ready to go to bed. That eavning when me and Mom were sitting across from each other , I couldn't come up with the courage to ask , it was too wierd , too stupid, too crazy of a consept to even try to explain. So I went outside on the back porch and cried , she came out and asked me what was wrong and I said nothing, after trying to explain to dad I just wanted to be alone. Of course she wouldn't leave she asked again till I finally told her, " I, I think I have OCD and I , don't know how to handle it, I mean" I continued," I stayed up till 3:00 last night fixing things I thought were crooked or out of place" I couldn't talk any more without choking ip so I stopped. She said to me " well OCD isn't bad , it has it's benifits you know" I shrug , wondering how such an annoyance could be helpful in any way. "Well I was just making sure you were ok" she said going back into the house. I wanted desperately for her to stay out there with me talk about it and possibly go over some stuff that could help, bit we didn't. Now don't get me wrong my parents are amazing they love their kids very much and are always there for us, they just don't understand. So after a late night of reaserch , joining an ameno, joining this app ,and of course YouTube , I am already feeling better. It's only been 2 days or less but I realized that giving in isn't helping and am taking it day by day, I feel crazy yes , sometimes I question if I'm just going crazy but. I know I can do it. Please share your tips on this desease?? I don't know what the technical turn for it is. But tips would be greatly appreciated. Also thank you for listening to my rant.

Ive relapsed pretty hard with my anxiety and depression, and ocd thoughts. I was doing so well for months and just suddenly everything feels so hard again. This week has been extra hard, I haven't had much energy do to much at all. It's like I've forgotten all the ways to handle my thoughts. I don't think I'm looking for tips or anything I just want to write this and maybe talk to someone here. Anyone here who's in a similar situation?

So I’ve been struggling to write this down. The truth about OCD is that it sucks. I get weird thoughts and they stick. And because I can’t confirm their weird thoughts i get stuck in a cycle of rumination. That’s my compulsion. I avoid people and situations because I think I’m a bad person. Which ultimately drove me into depression and more. The verdict is this: you can’t make a thought go away. You can accept it as a thought even if you feel doubt about accepting it and letting it be there. Fake it till you make it. I’m faking it everyday and I’ve grown so much since staring my exposure therapies. Don’t avoid your exposures. They become so easy like water. The hardest part is starting. Rumination is a choice - believe it or not. I go, wait a minute wait a minute, I don’t want to keep figuring this out. And I feel the train tracks move and my mind goes else where. This is with therapy. This is with holding on to my last string of hope. And to make this easier for all of you. I’m a mother. My ocd has made my life harder because I have a tiny human who relies on me. I had a horrible childhood with the main billion still in my life. I’ve accepted it. Accept and move on. Work out for 5 min a day. Buy a new gym outfit that makes u feel hot!! Eat something different like a good quality chocolate bar ( a piece ) enjoy it!!!! Chew it slowly. Drink some water. Listen to your heart not your OCD . We don’t need compulsions, you will get there and one day believe it. Live with ocd like you don’t care! You’ve gotten this far. Rewrite your story this year. Start again everyday. And take it day by day… Build your peace and remember, nobody has the motivation to get out of bed, it’s about building good habits and discipline. Start preparing your meals for thanksgiving. Give charity, pray to god once a day. Tell him your letting him take over. Now get up and , 1,2, ready set GO.