Mental Slip-Ups and Burnout Clarity

20 y/o NB (Masc) CW: Mention of Kink At the current moment, I feel as if I have entered a stage of emotional burnout, in which my anxiety needs much more effort to be consciously present. This allows me to think a bit more clearly about potential big life decisions. This burnout was caused by a relapse into certain kink fantasies that I genuinely enjoyed, but I feel like the ethical tolerability of such a fantasy can be debated. I was somewhat pressured by a friend into it because it was purely fictional, but it still made me feel dirty after, even if it was fun to roleplay. I did try to go on trying to enjoy it for about a day like a normally did before I had my spiral. Cut to today, and I had another fantasy. Again, it felt good, but I felt so wrong after. This led to a short anxiety spike and subsequent burnout. Now I'm here, thinking about how that friend, as well as an unrelated friend group of mine who all share a common kink. I can't tell if it's subconscious anxiety, or if I've gained perspective on the topic, or if I just grew a bigger conscience, but I think I'm starting to outgrow that friend group, or at the very least I feel like I need to sooner or later. My issue is that I love them, and I don't think they're bad or malicious people. Maybe the fantasies are or aren't ethical, but either way, I don't think I can agree with that style of fantasy for much longer. And so I'm left with a difficult choice of staying with my friendgroup but risk losing myself due to permanent anxiety, or leave the friendgroup that I've spent years of my life with and love with all my heart, and learn how to be a more well adjusted adult while still running the risk of relapsing. I don't think the safe and stable core of the kink will ever go away for me, so even if I do leave, it's likely I'll "see them around" so to speak. I doubt I'll ever leave the more tame and ethically sound part of that community. Still, I don't know if I can keep the persona I have associated with this kink going 24/7 anymore. Hell that's probably why I spiraled in the first place. I'm not sure what choice to make, but my burnt out mind is currently craving the more stable seeming option of slowly drifting away, even if it hurts a lot. Not really a post to ask questions to y'all, more-so just a way to type out my thought process. But if y'all have any advice or input, feel free to five your two cents.