There's a guy Im starting to really like... I think I want to try asking him out eventually.. But I feel like I need to confess my Real events to him, especially because theyre taboo. I didnt hurt anyone but theyre still bad and most would say disgusting. It was years ago but I feel like if I dont tell him he cant consent to the relationship or im lying to him. I guess I deserve it.
Just be honest with him don't have to tell him everything at once just be honest and up front sometimes it works out sometimes it don't I've been there before at least you could say you tried better than you didn't try at all I've been in that boat too not taking a chance just have to make the best decision for yourself
True .. thank you.
Don't be hard on yourself! Take all of this at one at a time. You don't have to confess everything to him. You don't even have to bring it up at all. It's your OCD trying to make this problematic for you. You could slowly open up about some things as long as trust between you both grows stronger. From what we've talked about in the past, I doubt he would be upset with you. I think he'd be very sympathetic for you and would want the best for you if it gets to that point. Take your time with this. Overthinking may happen, but it doesn't mean you have to act on anything. Go slow and I'm sure things will be okay. :)
Thank you 🥺 forgive the late response. I guess I just feel like, if I dont tell him im somehow lying to him, but if I do tell him i feel he'd definitely reject me ... I dont know. Its a very stressful feeling. Im trying not to compulsively confess anything ... argh.
@Northern_Downpour I can understand how you feel about that. I have similar feelings about that as well. It feels like if my partner knew any my history of the real events that I remember, they would find me disgusting or something. It's something we can't let keep us down. We can't let OCD be put limits on us with the things we want to pursue. It sounds like you do like this person, and you should let him know that when you feel ready! I'm sure with strong chemistry and trust, that would not be something he would judge you for!
@BigGyro09 I failed, I ended up compulsively confessing, but I guess I tried my best >_> ...
@Northern_Downpour I see. How did it go though? What happened if you don't mind me asking??
@BigGyro09 It went well, youre right he was very sympathetic and understanding. I thought it would make me feel better but my ocd just decided to make me anxious about something else, so im still struggling. But hes so sweet. I dont deserve him.
@Northern_Downpour I think this is a prime example of OCD that you can learn from. Please don't be so hard on yourself about this. The whole cycle with OCD is it telling you that you need to do this compulsion to feel relief but the thing is, it's either going to ridicule you over you doing it or not doing it. But doing the opposite of what it says is the road of exposure. In this case, you confessed, which is not your fault and not somehow you should be harsh on yourself for. Tell yourself that even that you're struggling, you do deserve him. You both are happy with each other. Despite what your mind may tell you, be unconditionally compassionate anyway. Feeling bad or guilty about yourself doesn't change anything that has happened back then, it only makes you yourself feel worse, when you could be helping yourself by practicing the opposite. :) I'm very glad it went well by the way!! You took a very big step here, even if it may not feel like it. You can look back on this learning from it when it comes to your OCD and you can be easy on yourself. :)
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