- Username
- TwylerGuy12
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I feel you, drugs fucked me majorly. Keep off the drugs, see friends and spend time with family too. Isolating yourself from them will make it harder so try push yourself to spend time with them. The more you do the easier it will get. I still find it all hard but we need to push ourselves no matter how bad the thoughts are, I focus on the moment and don't try control the thoughts. It is still really hard and Xmas has been tearful for me, but the more you push yourself the easier it'll get. Keep pushing yourself, stay strong.
Thank you man. I do spend most of my time at home but sometimes it's just way too much emotionally and physically so I tend to get out with friends most night and toke. Besides weed and cigs I've stopped all other drugs. The ritual of smoking sometimes feels like the only piece of mind I get. That and being with friends helps as well. I just hate how quickly I've gone from almost accepting myself to hating myself more than I ever have, even when my depression was bad and i had suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry to hear the holidays have been difficult for you, they have for me as well so dont feel alone. I dont think I've cried more consistently ever before than I do now. I've been trying so hard to push thru and its it's so hard.
My thoughts have evolved so much they literally attack me being scared of anything and everything. I can’t understand if I’m scared of the thought or the thing I think I fear! I’m so confused and want to just not fucking care
Mine seem to attack me no matter what. Playing video games, listening to music, watching a movie. I understand how you feel, I wish we could jus delete shit like this outta our brains. I hate how mine seems to be against me all of a sudden.
@TwylerGuy12 Wow we have a lot in common haven’t played a game in a month and barely ever listen to music where as before I did 2-4 hours a day. This disorder fucking sucks. But let’s stay strong. It’s literally all we can do. Do what we used to and try our best to enjoy it.
@lulu23 Stay strong guys!
I had a major issue with weed, I reckon you should cut that out too mate. It can cause all sorts of issues, and what you are describing sounds a lot like how I felt. Since cutting the weed out its been easier for me, as it has a lot of psychological effects, so I can think more clearly than I used to. I still smoke cigs, a lot more than I used to, 1 thing at a time tho... Weed does help in the moment, same as booze, but you're better off without, especially with what you're going through. Make sure you're speaking to a GP or a someone who can help with suicidal thoughts, as they could give you meds to make it a bit easier and guide you more in the right direction. Yeah holidays are usually a tough time if year for everyone, but keeping off the drugs and getting the right therapy, hopefully soon it'll get easier. Do try keep off the weed mate, it really messed me up, and it can cause these types of issues due to a chemical imbalance in your brain. Keep trying mate, it will get easier.
Quiting weed sounds impossible because I've been smoking everyday day for so long, and at this point smoking with my friends feels like the only peace I have, if even for just a bit. I've been smoking since sophomore year and never had any problems until now, which it seemed more likely to me that my recent psychedelic abuse was the problem, which I've completed stopped.
@TwylerGuy12 I get you, for 10 years I used to smoke weed, but for the last 2 years it's been so hard, especially after realising what OCD is and how long I've dealt with it. I loved it and stopping was so fucking hard, but it'll be worth it trust me. It's worth a try if you are struggling this much, as stopping has helped me a lot. Entirely up to you tho, but your docs would say same thing if you're having these issues. At least cut down if you smoke a lot and it might improve your mood when you're not high.
@charliebee I'm not opposed to cutting it off, I have no desire on my own besides now what seems like my mental health being on the line. Itll be easier I feel like to cut back rather than stop cold turk, but cutting back in and of itself will prove to be difficult. But if you can stop after 10 years I can definitely attempt after 2. Props to you btw, its it's not easy, especially when its it's your get a away.
@TwylerGuy12 Yeah give that try mate, hopefully cutting down will help you a bit. Definitely see a GP too as they will be able to guide you more with the issues you're having with mental health. Thanks man, all the best to you and hope things get easier.
I've been the same way about both games and music. I used to play video games all the time and loved music and I made beats in my free time and loved it, but I havent made a complete beat since this all started and playing games even fucking pokemon sword or splatoom, my thoughts still come to me. Which makes me feel even worse because those were both birthday presents from my parents ? and you're so right. We just gotta fight it even tho it seems so hard. We gotta fight to make every day brighter and every thought happier, on god. ?
I suffer from intrusive thoughts, I think I may have HARM OCD. My therapist diagnosed me with anxiety and depression but not OCD because I never told her about my thoughts. I’m afraid of being around vulnerable people, and I’m afraid for going insane. The thought of it makes me want to throw up, this all started about a week ago, and I haven’t been able to eat since then. I don’t even want to go out because I’m in constant fear. I tell myself “what if I snap?” or “what if I’m a sociopath?” I have told my parents about it and even my significant other and they tell me “you wouldn’t even hurt a fly” I kind of feel relieved after that but not for long. I’ve been trying to get closer to god, I’ve been praying, meditating, I even took magnesium because I want to stop having these thoughts. I did go to therapy right away but I wasn’t completely honest to her due to fear. I’ve been feeling numb. I love my family.. so why am I afraid I might hurt them?
Hey guys so my psychiatrist basically said I suffer from moderate OCD and prescribed me Sertraline(Zoloft) but I needed up canceling my Medicine and my whole entire visit there because none of the therapist does ERP so I decided to try a place the specialize in OCD. I wanna stay far way from meds. I suffer from OCD killer thoughts but is this considered OCD when you think you have a mental illness where gonna go all crazy and start being violent? Like at times I’m scared I’m bipolar, or schizophrenic. Before I would be worried and anxiety would rise when I thought of hurting other people, but now sometimes my urges feel so real I think about hurting someone and I feel like I enjoy it and I don’t feel the guilt. And sometimes I feel intense guilt for my parents thinking wow I feel so bad for their daughter cause she’s gonna be a murderer. Like sometimes I feel like I could do things I was once scared of. Like for instance, today there was this dude staring at me and I straight forward told him with an attitude “ what are you staring at” And sometimes all my other old intrusive thoughts come back ( aka being bisexual, committing suicide, thinking about self harm) what do I do... I feel like a mess. And I constantly search up all the other mental disorders that Amanda Bynes has and lady Gaga. I’m so confused I’m a mess. I feel anxiety but then my minds tells me I love murder, jail and violence. Sorry this is so long I’m so lost I wanna be normal again.
I’ve been recently struggling so much with the intrusive thoughts and images, it was bad at first but now its worse. I cant even cry anymore. Im questioning myself. am i really crazy? am i really scared if these thoughts? what if i lose my self control? what if i am my intrusive thoughts? what if i don’t feel bad about them? im so scared my life is being taken over im not myself anymore i feel like im going through derealization as well which i’ve struggled with in the past. I haven’t been diagnosed but am almost 100% sure i have harm OCD im talking to a therapist and a doctor to get me on pills. Someone help me please or give me advice i feel so disgusted looking at myself bc i feel like im a sick human. These thoughts are against my family, especially my mom which is the person i love the most in the world. Im only 13 and miss my old self. I regret watching Dahmer so much, which is what initially caused this for the first time. What if im never gonna be the same again. I cant sleep i feel sick even eating. Am i alone on this.
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