- Username
- TwylerGuy12
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I feel you, drugs fucked me majorly. Keep off the drugs, see friends and spend time with family too. Isolating yourself from them will make it harder so try push yourself to spend time with them. The more you do the easier it will get. I still find it all hard but we need to push ourselves no matter how bad the thoughts are, I focus on the moment and don't try control the thoughts. It is still really hard and Xmas has been tearful for me, but the more you push yourself the easier it'll get. Keep pushing yourself, stay strong.
Thank you man. I do spend most of my time at home but sometimes it's just way too much emotionally and physically so I tend to get out with friends most night and toke. Besides weed and cigs I've stopped all other drugs. The ritual of smoking sometimes feels like the only piece of mind I get. That and being with friends helps as well. I just hate how quickly I've gone from almost accepting myself to hating myself more than I ever have, even when my depression was bad and i had suicidal thoughts. I'm sorry to hear the holidays have been difficult for you, they have for me as well so dont feel alone. I dont think I've cried more consistently ever before than I do now. I've been trying so hard to push thru and its it's so hard.
My thoughts have evolved so much they literally attack me being scared of anything and everything. I can’t understand if I’m scared of the thought or the thing I think I fear! I’m so confused and want to just not fucking care
Mine seem to attack me no matter what. Playing video games, listening to music, watching a movie. I understand how you feel, I wish we could jus delete shit like this outta our brains. I hate how mine seems to be against me all of a sudden.
@TwylerGuy12 Wow we have a lot in common haven’t played a game in a month and barely ever listen to music where as before I did 2-4 hours a day. This disorder fucking sucks. But let’s stay strong. It’s literally all we can do. Do what we used to and try our best to enjoy it.
@lulu23 Stay strong guys!
I had a major issue with weed, I reckon you should cut that out too mate. It can cause all sorts of issues, and what you are describing sounds a lot like how I felt. Since cutting the weed out its been easier for me, as it has a lot of psychological effects, so I can think more clearly than I used to. I still smoke cigs, a lot more than I used to, 1 thing at a time tho... Weed does help in the moment, same as booze, but you're better off without, especially with what you're going through. Make sure you're speaking to a GP or a someone who can help with suicidal thoughts, as they could give you meds to make it a bit easier and guide you more in the right direction. Yeah holidays are usually a tough time if year for everyone, but keeping off the drugs and getting the right therapy, hopefully soon it'll get easier. Do try keep off the weed mate, it really messed me up, and it can cause these types of issues due to a chemical imbalance in your brain. Keep trying mate, it will get easier.
Quiting weed sounds impossible because I've been smoking everyday day for so long, and at this point smoking with my friends feels like the only peace I have, if even for just a bit. I've been smoking since sophomore year and never had any problems until now, which it seemed more likely to me that my recent psychedelic abuse was the problem, which I've completed stopped.
@TwylerGuy12 I get you, for 10 years I used to smoke weed, but for the last 2 years it's been so hard, especially after realising what OCD is and how long I've dealt with it. I loved it and stopping was so fucking hard, but it'll be worth it trust me. It's worth a try if you are struggling this much, as stopping has helped me a lot. Entirely up to you tho, but your docs would say same thing if you're having these issues. At least cut down if you smoke a lot and it might improve your mood when you're not high.
@charliebee I'm not opposed to cutting it off, I have no desire on my own besides now what seems like my mental health being on the line. Itll be easier I feel like to cut back rather than stop cold turk, but cutting back in and of itself will prove to be difficult. But if you can stop after 10 years I can definitely attempt after 2. Props to you btw, its it's not easy, especially when its it's your get a away.
@TwylerGuy12 Yeah give that try mate, hopefully cutting down will help you a bit. Definitely see a GP too as they will be able to guide you more with the issues you're having with mental health. Thanks man, all the best to you and hope things get easier.
I've been the same way about both games and music. I used to play video games all the time and loved music and I made beats in my free time and loved it, but I havent made a complete beat since this all started and playing games even fucking pokemon sword or splatoom, my thoughts still come to me. Which makes me feel even worse because those were both birthday presents from my parents ? and you're so right. We just gotta fight it even tho it seems so hard. We gotta fight to make every day brighter and every thought happier, on god. ?
Please help a struggling person This is going to be long and i apologize. Since about 11 I’ve been treated for bipolar disorder and no antipsychotics ever had any effect on me. All made me feel lucid or zombie like. Recently a psychiatrist diagnosed me with ocd and adhd and told me that the two illnesses together can present as bipolar disorder and that’s probably why i was misdiagnosed the majority of my life. I’ve come at a cross roads in my life. I desperately need help but only see my psychiatrist once a month which doesn’t really help. I’m not really a therapy person either. Can someone please help me out and tell me if I’m crazy or if they’ve had similar experiences?? My freshman year i had a 4.0 and was excited at the thought of becoming a med student in the future. Now that it’s summer I’m spiraling. I’m so angry all the time. I won’t let anyone see me or talk to anyone. Im so afraid I’m not good enough and my thoughts consume me. Im constantly worried about the future and have vivid day dreaming episodes of where I’ll end up and how I’m going to fail. I won’t go out and have gained weight and now i constant obsess about my weight and won’t let anyone see me because of what i look like. My thoughts are in patterns and repeat and repeat and won’t go away. I can’t even function anymore. All i do is lay in my bed and think. It’s like a bad movie that won’t turn off. I also won’t allow myself to experience any sort of love connection because I’m terrified of confirming or denying my sexuality. My brain is constant and i feel like there’s nothing that i can do to ever turn it off and feel normal. My intrusive thoughts and starting to become my only thoughts. This panic state has been my state for about 3 weeks now. Can someone give some advice?
I’m so sick of my mind it’s so cruel, I want to feel happy again I’m so over this. The past 3 weeks I have been stressing over multiple things/mental issues. At first I remember I saw a video about someone saying if u see shadows you have schizophrenia and I didn’t see shadows but I went into a freak out and started searching around looking if I saw anything of course I didn’t but this led me to feel paranoid and not leave my room sitting and crying in bed, then I worried about how I saw a video on the internet about how some people go mental over the fact the world might not exist and everyone might be a figment of our imagination so I went into a spiral and started questioning everything, once again stayed in my room crying. Then I worried about harm ocd since I had a scary dream and I thought omg what if I wanna do those things and my mind tries to think about bad peoples perspectives and of course I felt grossed out and thought omg I must be insane, and now then I worried about DID ( dissociative identity disorder ) and now I’m convincing myself I have evil alters when I don’t even hear voices or anything. I feel insane, I’ve also got depersonalisation to add to that which makes it worse. I’m so over it I’m sick of everyone saying I’m going to get better because I don’t feel like I will it’s just getting worse I’m only young and I had so many things I was looking too this year but I feel like my mind just wants me to be miserable. I want to be happy. I’ve been taking Effexor for 2 days now and I feel worse, that may be normal but the intrusive thoughts keep coming and they are scarier. Im sick of being paranoid it’s annoying my family now and I feel bad because I also want to happy for them and not cause them stress but I have no idea what to do. Is this normal with ocd or am I going insane?
It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried it’s all I think about. I can’t stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I don’t wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that I’ve heard about in the past and I can’t stop comparing myself to these horrible people. I’m scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just can’t get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and I’m afraid it means it validates my thoughts I’ve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. I’ve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and I’m afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just can’t stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that it’s all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I haven’t eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because I’m not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I don’t and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd “tendencies “ because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. I’m not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or I’m just using it as an excuse. All I know is that I’m extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. It’s scary but it’s what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.
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