need alternatives to confessing

hey! i’m no expert and am still trying to learn more about my own OCD as i go but i feel like there’s a difference between healthy reassurance and compulsive reassurance. i would say before you go to ask for reassurance, ask yourself “am i doing this to actually learn my girlfriend’s perspective on this topic?” or “am i doing this to reassure myself?” if its the second option, it’s most likely compulsive,your brain flags it as important, and therefore we should try to resist doing it. i know it is so much easier said than done to resist compulsions, trust me im still battling with it too. but even if you delay asking for reassurance for 10 minutes, your brain will most likely slowly train itself. maybe try to set a time limit in your head and say “okay, i’ll ask her in 10 minutes” and try to delay it for longer each time you feel the urge to do it. or you can figure out on average how often you ask for reassurance a day and try to lessen it every other day if that makes sense. for example, just say you think you seek reassurance about 10 times a day, whether it’s from yourself or from your girlfriend. maybe the next day you can try to lessen seeking that reassurance to 8 times, and trying to whittle it down each day. it wont be perfect, healing is so not linear, but you are trying which is progress in itself <3 hope things get better soon you got this!

Hi! I think especially with the relationship being new, we never learn EVERYTHING about someone overnight. I’d say if you and your GF are having a natural conversation about past experiences, you can share information about some of these things without it being a confession. Idk if this makes sense, LOL! I guess it’s really to take things one day at a time, and if an opportunity arises to chat about some things you can seize it. But know in doing so you may not get what you “want” out of it (certainty)!