Breaking down, I can't do this

Hello losingitalways, I see you are struggling with intrusive thoughts about how you "really" feel in your relationship and are engaging in rumination and scanning to determine if the thought about your relationship is accurate. It’s common for OCD to make you question your intentions and feelings, and it can lead to a lot of self-doubt and anxiety. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to seek help and support. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/i-write-about-love-for-a-living-heres-how-i-tackled-my-rocd/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/why-do-i-feel-numb/ https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-micro-cheating/ Take care, Ian M. Reeder

I just went through a similar situation in my relationship. One thing that I found to be important when dealing with relationships and heartbreak in particular is pausing for a moment when you feel the urge to reach out or say/do something. Sometimes I would feel like “I need to say something. What if ___ happens if I don’t!”. But looking back, every time I gave into that, it made things more complicated and just harder on myself and the relationship. But every time I paused and said “I am not going to make a rash decision because that’s not how I want to live. I will wait until ___ and then decide whether or not I still want to say something”. And usually when that time comes, I am able to make a better decision. I completely understand, relationships are so hard and there is a lot you can’t control. But, you can decide what YOU do in THIS MOMENT. And maybe right now all that you can do is get some rest, drink some water, have a snack and allow your body/mind to settle a bit. I don’t know your exact situation, but no one makes their best choices when they aren’t sleeping well, not getting enough water/nutrients and have gone through emotional distress. We all need nurturing and patience with ourselves to get us back on our feet sometimes. And that takes a bit of time. Please take care of yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through all this, but there’s hope.