I Need Some Help

Hi. I'm a freshman moving to college on the 28th. I was diagnosed with OCD/Pure OCD at 14, after having suffered since I was six. My themes fluctuate constantly, and my compulsions are almost entirely mental, with some exceptions. The severity of symptoms flucuate, especially since I have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and my triggers are rather specific. Right now, my Real Event and Harm OCD, are at an all time high. I also worry that my OCD diagnosis is inaccurate, although I know, rationally, it is not. My Real Event OCD relates to actions I made in my childhood which I have since realized were morally incorrect, and my past dishonesty regarding schoolwork. I feel like I don't deserve any of the good things I have, or any of the opportunities I have been offered. I am feeling sick, anxious, and depressed. I do not feel comfortable sharing what I did to cause my Real Event OCD, but I am eager for any advice.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey I suffer from the samething, i recommend regular therapy and ERP i recommend you do both. As someone with childhood filled with trauma and ALOT of mistakes. My ocd often attacks that, I felt like I didn’t to be here and tried to take my life 6 times in the past 2 years. I had to learn the things I did when I were younger doesn’t reflect my morals I have today. It took a lot, I just started therapy and erp 2 weeks ago and I’m basically flourishing. I was severely neglected as a child, since I had other siblings my parents focused on I had way too much access to a lot of things I regret it, but the important thing is to forgive yourself and be kind to your self. It takes practice but I really do recommend finding a therapist in your state. I have a therapist, psychiatrist and they make me do group therapy for erp. It’s insane it made me realize things about myself. I shouldn’t hold resentment towards anybody anymore

sirollie

Date posted: Yesterday

I have a 15 minute call scheduled tomorrow. I really want to be happy/normal, but I really don't feel I deserve it. It doesn't help that my compulsions are kind of subtle/unique, so I often don't feel like OCD is a valid diagnosis. Thank you so much for sharing your story and for your advice. <3

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@sirollie I get that feeling always, you have to forgive the younger you. Write a letter to your younger self, and continue to read it over and over again. I want you to wake up and say I deserve to live and to love myself my past doesn’t define me even if I was a innocent child that didn’t know many things

sirollie

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous Thank you so much. I am honestly glad to see there are others like me out there. It's so easy to feel singular or deviant from everyone else. I will endeavor to do what you have said. <3

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Not a lot of tangible advice, but as someone with OCD and PMDD and having been a college freshman before, I encourage you to give yourself lots of grace and kindness during this time. Moving away to college is a major life transition, and it was truthfully really, really hard for me. Take it a day at a time and try your best to give yourself grace. You can do this!

sirollie

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you so much! I made it hard to give tangible advice because I wrote so vaguely lol

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond