My theme - Existential OCD

This is my first post here. I've replied to a lot of messages but haven't sent any myself. I appreciate anyone who reads or responds to it. It's gonna be a bit long❤️ Well my theme is existential ocd. Before this theme, I did deal with things like health and safety themes but didn't even know that it was ocd because it was much milder. My fear is about a sort of eternal suffering. I feel soooo alone in it because I haven't seen anyone with a similar theme. Most people fear death and non existence. For me that would be the best outcome. Everything would end including the suffering and it also feels natural. My fear shows itself in two main ways: - quantum immortality (the quantum torment scenario) - death being an illusion and we keep being conscious of our body and feelings after death (this includes being burried alive and being there forever, feeling the decomposition of the body) And trust me I have researched enough. I couldn't make sure that it won't happen. But the problem is that it feels wrong to accept its possibility because EVERYONE sees death as THE certain thing. I feel alone because I haven't seen someone accepting this possibility and still living normally. Idk if it's possible or not. If we were in a society in which the fear of eternal suffering in the ways I described was as common as fear of death, I could deal with it much easier. Something interesting is that if someone said "don't worry we will all die for sure", it wouldn't give me any reassurance. It would actually trigger me because I'd feel unheard. That they don't even understand what my fear is and now I have to argue to prove that my worry might be a possibility and I'm not worried about a totally impossible thing.😅 Does anyone relate or has anyone gone through similar stuff? The thought is very scary by itself but I also feel isolated in having the thought itself and the dread that comes with it. It's like I've found a dark secret and it's my responsibility to solve it because others are too careless. (Probably not true. I'm just saying how it feels) Thank you for putting the time to read this❤️

marta._.g

Date posted: 18h

Hellooo, I struggle with this badly too. Although my fears are mostly the passage of time and also eternal suffering as well as like a fear of my conciousness being stuck without a body for eternity in eternal darkness. I feel exactly the same way like others are to careless and im the freak that has to solve this…. its really hard but I hope me and you will recover from this ❤️‍🩹

no more running

Date posted: 18h

Hello friend. I'm sorry that you struggle with that and at the same time a bit relieved that our fears are quite similar. Do you also feel alone in having the thought? That everyone takes death as granted? It is very hard🫠 i hope we get through it although I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. Maybe it exists❤️

username0192...

Date posted: 16h

I wouldn’t say my ocd has latched onto this but yeah one of my greatest fears is eternity (after death). it is so so scary when I think about it. I think your comments on death are interesting because yes on the one hand death is one of the most certain things of all, maybe the only thing that is truly certain, but what comes after that death is one of the most uncertain things. We all will die, and it is impossible to know what happens to us after death. A good opportunity to practice sitting with uncertainty I guess, I know that is of little comfort but you got this

no more running

Date posted: 15h

The thing is that I'm not certain about death either. Or perhaps it's better to say: I'm not sure when someone is declared dead, their experience has ended. We're not in their mind and consciousness might not be produced by the brain at the end of the day. It's a whole rabbit hole isn't it? But I feel claustrophobic in existence if it makes sense. What if I never get to stop experiencing stuff and get stuck in the process of dying but never cease to exist? For me death = no experience. I've tried to stop all compulsions to solve this thought for 3 days now. It's very hard you know🫠 I'll try to keep going.

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