doubting my adhd, NEED ADVICE!!

so for a few years i’ve suspected inattentive adhd in myself, so last year i started seeing a therapist. after we had discussed my symptoms i visited a psychiatrist, who allowed me to start taking meds (methylphenidate) for it a few months ago, which basically equals a diagnosis in my country’s health system, i think. but recently i’ve started doubting it. and i don’t know if it’s regular ocd doubt or impostor syndrome or genuine realisation, but i’m worried that i actually don’t have adhd and that i’m just pretending and have lied to myself and others. it feels like i’ve exaggerated my symptoms a bit and that i don’t deserve to be on meds because i’m not struggling enough. i don’t know if being on meds made me forget what it’s like to be without them in school environments, but whatever it is, i’m doubting, checking memories, worrying and seeking reassurance on the r/adhd thread to try and find out what’s going on. if i go back in my memories, ask my parents and look through old physical notes from daycare, i find the following symptoms: very forgetful, hyperfixations, poorly organised, easily distracted and frequently zones out, senstive, impulsive (at times), very talkative, procrastinating and the basic stuff like that. i KNOW i technically reach the diagnostic criteria for adhd, i mean, right now i’ve been trying to study for the last 3 hours and barely moved, and i’ve gotten NOTHING done because i’ve been procrastinating and getting distracted by reading on the previously mentioned reddit thread and the dread is starting to kick in. now that night approaches i get my typical night owl energy boost and i suddenly feel like i could hyperfocus with the help of a little caffeine, almost. but still, it feels like my traits arent THAT bad or damaging my life enough to be treated. it just feels like excuses, somehow, like everyone does this. i’m scared of being dumb and stupid and an example of that, i that i feel ashamed and responsible when i read about the declining literacy and math skills in the west for example, thinking somehow that’s my fault and i’m just sitting here blaming my stupidity on a disorder i don’t even have. even though i’m very literate and actually do know a lot of stuff. but nope, still my fault. (kinda going off track here sorry) the annoying thing is that i’m trying to reassure myself and actually find information at the same time; i want to feel certain, but i also genuinely want to know if my symptoms ARE symptoms or just normal stuff. that’s why it’s tricky to navigate this. it’s probably mostly ocd because now my memories are getting fuzzy from trying to remember, and the whole ”doubt and check again”-cycle is a clear sign of that. and yeah, i should address it by ”maybe, maybe not”. but this DOES MATTER a lot to me, since it would be a huge part of my identity and it’s something i take meds for. while i know i’m not PURPOSEFULLY faking it, i’m painfully aware that i could just be a misdiagnosed, insecure teenager looking for an explanation for feeling crap. AGHHHH IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE