Pregnancy/stds etc

I feel like this is a safe space to talk about this because nobody else would really understand when I say some of the thoughts and compulsions that I have over it. When I was younger and not sexually active at all, I would literally buy pregnancy test because my OCD convinced me that somehow that I was the exception(lol solly I know but in the middle of an OCD spiral it's not so funny) and would be taking these tests and now I look back at it and I'm like holy crap that's a compulsion My poor mom too I would have her worried sick because I would go begging her for reassurance that it's not physically possible to get pregnant without having sex and she was just worried sick because she'd be like why would you be asking me types of questions if she wasn't actually worried about the possibility. Oh that's because my OCD hates me but I don't think back at the time I knew that it was my OCD. And now that I am sexually active, if and when I do have a new partner, I don't even enjoy it because afterwards I am buying $300 plus lab tests to check for STDs rather than just going to my gyno through insurance because guess what I've gone so many times that she probably thinks i'm nuts LMAOO anyways, had intercourse about a week or so ago. i have an iud but he didnt use a condom. pls guys dont come for me bc im already not well mentally this morning yes I know shouldve used a condom yes I KNOW i'm an idiot but anyways, fully convincing myself i have an std & i'm pregnant lmao had a slight cramp this morning & thats what threw the cycle into motion for No reason. Lovely great. havent had aperiod in over a year too bc of the IUD so that won't help I know coming on here is a form of reassurance yay but at the same time i just want to know i'm not alone

CrazyCatLady2

Date posted: 4d

I literally took a pregnancy test yesterday despite being on birth control and having just finished my period. I was convinced because I was bloated I was pregnant lol. You’re not alone :)

jess12455

Date posted: 4d

@Anonymous girl I'm the same exact way lol. I'll feel one little cramp and I'm like Yep it's over for me (I literally am over here dodging teen pregnancy when I haven't been a teen in over 10 years)😅🤣

Azula

Date posted: 4d

The fear of pregnancy was what led me to realize I was suffering from ocd for years without realizing what it was. I literally never told anyone bc I knew that it was irrational but I couldn’t stop body checking. It was honestly a relief when I discovered it was ocd and it was just my thoughts. I also have an iud to give me confidence I won’t get pregnant but the lack of a period makes it challenging. No matter the scenario or point in my cycle I convince myself that I’m pregnant. I’ve been trying to acknowledge the thought as a thought and tell myself it’s not real but it’s so hard to do. You’re not alone!

jess12455

Date posted: 4d

@Azula thank you so much for commenting that. it is good to know that you're not alone especially when it comes to stuff like this.

Barrettbjorn

Date posted: 4d

I literally have my tubes removed and have also been like “no somehow it happened”. When I was younger I was always on birth control so I never used condoms and once I got something once I was scared everyone would give me something and got tested every time after someone new even if they said they were clean. Try and acknowledge that you’re hyper aware of your body right now because you’re looking for signs for something to be wrong. It’s good to be aware of your body and notice changes and i know they said no symptom is the biggest one, but i have always noticed a difference in smell or in discharge for myself when i have gotten anything. Getting an infection and not knowing is scary but just remember you know your body better than anyone else and if something was truly wrong you’d probably know.

jess12455

Date posted: 4d

@Madelynnpapaleo OMG yes. Sounds just like me especially with the not using condoms and the fear of catching something. Like I said, I know that it's a possibility but the OCD just makes it amplified 100 times more than it actually is. People without OCD would just be going on about their day and maybe just getting tested if they truly feel like they had to but with our brains it gets stuck on the what if.. It's so hard I'm not sure if you feel this way but I also feel so much regret whenever I do have sex with somebody because my OCD has convinced me that a number is what I'm worth

Barrettbjorn

Date posted: 14h

@jess12455 Yes heavy on that last part. I definitely have a higher body count than I’d like to have and feel judged for it. It helps that my partners is similar to mine and at the end of the day I don’t care what anyone else thinks about that stuff besides us lol.

jess12455

Date posted: 14h

@Madelynnpapaleo ohhh girl i could never talk to my parents ab that stuff theyre so judgy lol

Barrettbjorn

Date posted: 14h

@jess12455 I also don’t know your position w medical coverage, but at my walk in clinic they provide std/sti testing. And as “embarrassing” as it is to go in and ask to be tested, when I was single and went in to be tested decently often “just bc I had a new partner” (sometimes they weren’t new I just got in my head and I had reoccurring UTIs so I’d end up thinking it was an std/sti) they had said they wished more people got tested regularly. Obviously doing so as a compulsion isn’t good, but it’s not bad to get tested after new partners! As for the pregnancy part, I know it’s hard not to overthink it, but you are on birth control. Of course there’s a tiny chance it won’t work but it normally does! Being on it is supposed to help take away the anxiety of accidentally getting pregnant, try and let yourself remember that if that makes sense lol

Barrettbjorn

Date posted: 14h

@jess12455 I said partner as in my boyfriend lol. But also understandable 😂 I can kinda talk to my mom about it but I am an only child so we were always close, but I could never imagine bringing it up to my dad bahaha. You can always talk to me!

jess12455

Date posted: 14h

@Madelynnpapaleo omgggg i'm so slow HAHAHA i was like holy cow talk to her parents?! 😩🤣 but thank you friend, you as well!!

Barrettbjorn

Date posted: 14h

@jess12455 Another idea since you don’t have periods, if you’re open to the pill. I used to be on that (I didn’t trust any form I wasn’t 100% sure I was taking every day) and I told them I didn’t want a period all the time but still wanted one to know I wasn’t pregnant. They put me on continuous birth control so I took the regular pills every day and if I’d spot I’d take the sugar pills for 3 days. Sometimes I’d have a period every month sometimes 3 months but it helped me having that sense of security

Anonymous

Date posted: 4d

You aren't an idiot

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