Hi Everyone, My name is Sydney. I was diagnosed with OCD about 4 months ago when I went through a partial hospitalization program. I started ERP 7 weeks ago and my OCD has gotten so much worse. It’s so loud. I can’t get relief from googling anymore but I still reach for it. I don’t know anyone who’s gone through ERP so I feel very alone. I’m hoping it’s common for it to get so much worse before it gets better. I just feel alone.
Hi Sydney, it will feel like it’s getting worse because you are facing your fears and not engaging in compulsions as frequently. I know it is hard to trust the process in the beginning especially with OCD since it casts doubt on everything, but stick with it and eventually it will become more manageable overtime. I wish you the best on your healing journey!
@Anonymous Thank you! I’m worried because I’m only doing 8 sessions. So I have my last one this week but I feel so much worse. Do most people graduate feeling better?
@Syd S Are you seeing a therapist through NOCD? If so, from what mine has shared with me is progress is measured by frequent exposures/not engaging in compulsions as frequently. Additionally, NOCD therapists send out the document check ins on obsessions/phobias that monitor the level of the OCD affecting daily life. My therapist sends me that about every two weeks as a check in indicator.
@Anonymous No I see an in person OCD therapist. I have really bad somatic OCD and health related OCD. I’ve had it since I was a child. The last two weeks I’ve had an uptick in googling. But I’ve noticed it doesn’t give me relief anymore. So I just feel uncomfortable. I just don’t know if I’m supposed to feel this bad. But I also recognize that’s me searching for an answer and reassurance.
From my brother who’s a licensed therapist with a Masters, almost all clients saw improvement after repetitive exposure.
@_iPhone Thank you for this. I know it’ll come it just feels like it’s taking forever and my therapist doesn’t really give me a timeline. I struggle with not measuring progress. So I feel like I should be getting better or be further along but I feel worse. It’s discouraging.
@Syd S Certainly agree with that. Personally, I fear of putting incredible amounts of work into reading and studying, just to stop and think “this isn’t working,” and quit. With my ADHD, it’s difficult for me to commit to things, as not having immediate stimulus responses or improvement makes me want to quit.
It makes total sense that OCD is flaring up, after all you are addressing it head on - try to remember that things often get worse before they get better. You are facing fears and doing hard things! Remind yourself of your why- the reasons you want to recover and how your life will improve through doing ERP work. You got this 🫶🏻
I think knowing you have OCD solves half the problem. It sucks to have it, but knowing it means you can do something about it. For progress tracking, try to journal, and have a weekly or daily goal, very specific Just say “I will reduce my compulsions by X amount this every day or this week” Start small, stick to it… if you miss, it’s ok, just keep at it.
Hi Sydney! I’m so sorry you’re suffering like this. What I can say though is that you’re not alone and that yea, unfortunately OCD must get worse thru ERP before it gets better. I’ve been doing really tough exposures lately and it hasn’t been fun, but I’m confident that it’ll get better
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