OCD led to my abuse

I’m so worried about hurting other people that I don’t pay enough attention to people who are actively hurting me And when I am hurt I assume the offender is like me — that hurting someone is their worst possible fear and they didn’t do it on purpose I am also AuDHD but this is the one thing I just can’t live with I’ve been used and abused by so many since I was a child And I have the fawn response so I blamed myself for not being able to defend myself i thought I was complicit in my own abuse for not being able to stop it It makes me so sick to think I’ve been manipulated and hurt so severely that I don’t even want to live anymore I feel disgusting I don’t want this body or brain it’s all ruined I feel like I can’t get my innocence and dignity back Please tell me if you relate After so many years of ocd treatment I don’t understand how this is possible and how a therapist didn’t worry that I’m a walking target for predators Did I miss something?

skylar18

Date posted: 8h

I relate even tho im a male ive also been used and stuff like that if ykyk i always was like wait was i useing them etc etc i still somewhat feel that way it's like up and down like a weight machine. But i have a trust issue due to it i dont trust my self or the other person. But u should live i feel the same way u do but idk if ur Christian but that keeps me going and if i can at least help someone then i would be happy i might have already done so. But i have a hard time belive it i have failed alot of people in my past i feel you

skylar18

Date posted: 6h

@sick&tired Same to you im glad i was able to help if u ever need help or someone to talk to im here

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