Contamination worries?

I am new here and trying to help my (33m) husband (32m) quell his OCD fear of him contaminating me. What are some things I can say or discuss with him to make sure he knows that he isn't going to do that. I know very well that OCD takes irrational fears, worries, and thoughts and bumps them to 200+ but I'm unsure how to help just....make him feel better when all he wants to do now is just, rituals instead of saying cuddling or hand holding (example). He feels bad and I can tell...which breaks my heart.... reiterating again that I just want to help him and any tips or resources help. He's currently on medication and seeing a therapist so....those tips might not be the best for this situation! (Also sorry for writing it like a reddit post. Thought it would give more insight or something)

Chlover612

Date posted: Yesterday

When it comes to those with OCD - do NOT provide reassurance, expand on their “what ifs” instead (safely and kindly) Ex: They say “What if I contaminate you?” You say “Say you did/ I’m already contaminated. What then?” Obviously if you have a softer way of saying it if they are sensitive, please be kind to your partner, however it’s best to face that fear head on with a loved one. Imagine their irrational fears with them and agree in a way with them. You can comfort them, but reassurance is only a temporary small bandaid on a massive wound. It will take much longer to heal, and it hurts like hell, but it’s worth facing that pain. And healing isn’t linear. Best wishes ❤️

dootdoot

Date posted: 18h

Thank you. I've never thought of doing it like this. That puts things into a perspective that I've never thought of. And I really appreciate that 🙏

Chlover612

Date posted: 15h

@dootdoot Of course ❤️ OCD is a reaction/ result of severe anxiety amongst other things. Compulsions and rituals are a reaction to a fear. By increasing the tolerance to the anxiety and making it not so scary to think about - that will in turn help dissipate some of the severity (in most cases). Best way to combat the fears and compulsions is ERP therapy and medication for those that want it though. This app has so many helpful resources and people you can ask for advice from. Never be afraid to ask around and listen to other people’s experiences. 🥰 Here’s a link for a video with more info if you’d like to learn more about it (could be helpful to watch together) https://vimeo.com/599968182/f951424b20

dootdoot

Date posted: 15h

@Chlover612 I'll ask if he would be okay watching it tonight or something! He's been doing therapy and taking meds. But with other underlying health issues. Sometimes meds get forgotten and I worry. All in all this is very helpful information 🥺

Chlover612

Date posted: 15h

@dootdoot Yes OCD is both highly misunderstood and under-researched, and it usually more often than not comes with other comorbidic conditions too such as social anxiety, depression, health complications, in my case I also struggle with the autism and adhd executive dysfunction combo etc… It’s so complex - but there are ways to get better! There is light at the end of the tunnel lol it’s just not a straight tunnel, so it’s hard to see the end till you get closer to it. (Hope that made sense haha)

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