Always feeling guilty

I don’t know why, but with my OCD, I always have this feeling, whether it’s a heavy feeling or just in the background of me feeling like I did something wrong or committed a crime and forgot. Like especially with my cats too. Or me remembering times I was drunk or even times I remembered clearly in the past. It’s like my brain tells me I have harmed someone/or my cats without any direct proof. Like the feeling is enough proof and that’s what my brain runs off of.

A Foolish Sa...

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi CristyS323! Yeah, unfortunately we tend to be our own worst critics sometimes and it is definitely made worse by Ocd because it usually forces us to ruminate on things that we normally wouldn’t for way longer than we should… but as I’ve noted before it’s for the most part Ocd doing its absolute best to make you feel as horrible as possible. I’m not saying that your average person doesn’t think about this kind of stuff but I am saying that we are unique in the sense that we “obsess” about things way more than we should. Essentially the whole making mounds out of molehills thing. For example, when you described to me how you touched your cat the other day I thought it was alright, but in your own mind you found in unacceptable behavior, essentially you were your own judge and were judging yourself too harshly, even though your cat has probably forgotten about the whole thing. So, I totally understand the feeling that you are experiencing right now but just remember with Ocd we are our own worst critics and Ocd will always make you feel guilty, even when you are not 😸

CristyS323

Date posted: 17h

@A Foolish Samurai Warrior Yeah, my brain is my worst enemy. For example, just now my cat went to go lay at the end of my feet, but her butt was near my feet. I moved my foot and all of a sudden my brain is telling me I did something wrong. I don’t know my cats like to put their butt on stuff. It’s weird. I love them a lot, but I wouldn’t really let anyone put their butt on me . That’s why I always move. Also, my OCD used to be way worse than I used to be scared to give my cats affection. But now I am trying to give them as much as possible, even if my OCD tries to tell me, I’m doing something wrong. I think it just sucks because I have asked people about intrusive thoughts, and they say they get the same ones as me, but it’s usually a passing thought. They might feel weird about it, but they never obsess over it.

Anonymous

Date posted: 17h

I can relate to this so much. With my False Memory OCD, I also experience this persistent feeling that I must have done something wrong, even when I have no actual evidence or clear memory of doing anything. Sometimes the feeling itself becomes so convincing that it starts to feel like proof. It can even affect memories from years ago, making me question things I once remembered clearly. It’s exhausting living with that constant sense of guilt and uncertainty.

CristyS323

Date posted: 16h

@Anonymous Same. And it sucks because there’s one thing about having foggy memory and then truly having a feeling of guilt and shame. The same feeling you would get as if you actually did something. I have also convinced myself that I’ve done really terrible things only to find out that I didn’t. I’ve contacted people from years ago, just to ask them if I did anything. Weird I’m glad to know I’m not alone, but I can say I am sorry you go through this also because it is a difficult thing

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

@CristyS323 I can relate to this so much. I’ve also felt the urge to reach out to people I knew many years ago just to ask them about things from the past and try to get some reassurance. But the hardest part is that some of my false memories seem to have no real event behind them at all. They’re scenarios my mind has created, yet I’ve spent so much time believing I might have actually done those horrible things. And because there’s no one I can ask and no way to verify them, I feel trapped in the uncertainty.

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