Hi everyone this is my first post so not sure how it goes. I find that i’m struggling with the “hardest to deal with” subtypes. I have existential, harm, pure o, and deal with dissociation. Has anyone else dealt with all of these and had it all been mental compulsions? I’m struggling on a daily basis and staying in the moment and not spending the whole day in my head.
I just started erp. About to start my first exposure. I find that my ocd latches to new things all the time, it never stays put. And Im feeling like nothing will work because “its all in my head” and how do you not think, thats like telling yourself to not breathe. Actually to not breathe you can consciously for a few seconds or minutes hold your breath but how to “not think” is there a way out?
@Anonymous I have days where i’m feeling super motivated where i feel like i see real improvement and days where i feel like ive taken five steps back. it’s all day by day, i find myself thinking the same and it’s hard to snap out of it.
Im still figuring this all out. Never thought this was OCD and now all I think about is “is this OCD too” its like drawing attention to the problem makes it louder. I still don’t know how the mental compulsion part of it is going to work tbh.
@Mili321 did this recently start for you? dealing with obsessing and compulsive behaviors.
@Anonymous I dont know when it started really. I just thought this is how I am. Always thought that it was anxiety. Started with nocd a few weeks ago.
Yes, i exclusively have mental compulsions only and it’s absolute hell
@svk i feel the same way about them, i used to have the physical checking but now it’s all mental for me. On top of googling everything of course. Have you seen any changes in being able to resist and accept them? I’m really struggling with that.
@Anonymous Honestly yes actually- resisting the urge to check makes you kinda forget what the thought was, if you know what i mean- when you don’t check, you gradually forget the thought because you’re not actively remembering it for the purpose of checking. That being said, the urge to check is a hard one to beat and i face severe anxiety and i did it for the first time properly after a while 2-3 days ago and it does help. You can do this. The thing with mental compulsions is that the sneak up when you don’t want them to sometimes. I’ve found that naming the thought helpful- for example- i’d identify the compulsion and then name it as “compulsion”. For reference- a compulsion is anything that makes you feel better, and alleviated your fear. For eg. I’m a good person, etc. I’ve found sitting through the anxiety/ naming it the best way till now to manage this.
@Anonymous You should give Jon Hershfield’s books a read. He talks about all of this in detail.
Yes I have exactly the same thing! It’s awful and so tiring. It is always the same themes, but never the same thoughts if that makes sense. It latches on to whatever is around. I do ERP when they pop up, and it helps, but it doesn’t stop them from constantly popping up - even seconds later some days. And some days I feel so anxious that even ERP doesn’t seem to help. On those days I just have to tell myself that my brain is stuck on high alert. I don’t have to close the curtain on the thoughts (it’s not even possible some days!), I just have to keep moving on throughout my day even if I feel detached. For the existential thoughts, it’s like I can peel back the curtain of everything and see the underlying systems, which takes me out of the moment and puts me in a thinking rabbit hole. Many days I wish I could just dumb down my awareness of everything. I hate that it takes my greatest strength and uses it to torture me
@Anonymous wow, you’ve explained exactly how i feel to a T! especially the days where it feels like the whole day has been spent in my head and the existential pulling back of the curtain. Do you find yourself looking in too much as well? like questioning reality so much that it makes you question your own operating system?
@Anonymous I’m sorry you have to experience this too. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody! And yes, I definitely look too far inward. Those are some of the most jarring thoughts, especially when it gets recursive like observing myself observing myself observing myself, over and over. Sometimes I'll get caught on an abstract concept so far out there that I get a kind of existential vertigo. When that happens, I either have to catch it early before it spirals or just get back into my body somehow. Usually walking around, tuning into my senses, or doing something silly like counting backward from 300 by 7 helps pull me out of the clouds a bit.
@Anonymous i feel like you’re my ocd twin lol. the constant checking happens with me as well. a lot of physical and mental review to see how i emotionally react as well. I try to walk when i can to get grounded too but i work an office job 8 hours a day so it can get hard to. I also find myself getting a little dizzy at the thought of it all, like i physically feel the spiraling.
@Anonymous Im sorry you have to be my twin lol. I’m also in an office job with a long commute and too much time to think! All I can say is keep fighting! I started Prozac yesterday after 2 years of white-knuckling it and being scared of medication. I hope it helps me reset and I can look back and think “why didn’t I do this sooner?”
I also struggle with dissociation Sometimes it just feels easier to retreat into my head instead of the possibility of lashing out and hurting people when I’m having an OCD situation
I find having a podcast on in the morning helps and music on the way home lol. too tired in the morning for my thoughts and excited to go home. I’m trying! and i hope you keep fighting too! I am a week in of taking Zoloft myself and it’s helped a lot in the sense of physical anxiety not going into a full blown panic attack because of my physical symptoms. Taking medication is awesome! It’s just an additional aid in helping you get back to you. I know a lot of people say it helps take a little bit of the edge off, helps you in this process.
@Anonymous I too was prescribed ssri and because of my health ocd and anxiety I refuse to take it. Hard to decide to take a med that will help with the ocd and anxiety when the thought of the med causes anxiety and ocd. Make sense? Cant get past that yet.
@Mili321 i’ve dealt with themes of health ocd before too. i was nervous to start taking my medication too, worrying about all the potential side affects blah blah. The worst that can happen is you try it & it’s not a good fit, then you can choose to try something else or not use it. either way you have to give yourself the chance to let it take effect. It’s entirely up to you to take medication or not i found for me it has helped a lot in the sense calming my physical sensations of panic. (i also have panic disorder) But i am not a psychiatrist so not saying you need to talk medicine totally up to you.
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