This is something really weird to share! When I was 12 I was with my dog on my lap and the touch of his paws made me aroused! I was naturally watching TV! Then I thought what if I used him to have sexual pleasure? And then I felt really disgusted by that thought! Like I was an animal pervert but I think it was a pretty irrational thought and totally a thought not a want to do! But now I remembered that moment and I can't stop feeling that I was horrible by having thought about it and asking myself if I had done it would I be nowadays a dog rappist? This scares me! Do you feel that this was a normal thought considering the age and situation or am I a disgusting person?

𝕊𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 😞𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎𝕋𝕎 ℙ𝕃𝔼𝔸𝕊𝔼 𝔻𝕆ℕ'𝕋 ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻 𝕀𝔽 𝔼𝔸𝕊𝕀𝕃𝕐 𝔻𝕀𝕊𝕋𝕌ℝ𝔹𝔼𝔻 𝔹𝕐 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕄𝔼𝕊 𝕎𝕀𝕋ℍ 𝕂𝕀𝔻𝕊 hi everyone, I am really struggling with something disturbing and I'm so afraid I'm a PDF. So my sis came to visit with my nephew for the first time. So the other day we were taking pics with the baby I was already feeling kinda nervous cuz I never held a baby before. Anyway it was my turn and I like I wonder if this would sexually stimulate him( not exactly the thought but the of thought was more graphic and I don't wanna disturb anyone). And I can't remember if I thought that while I was bumping him on my stomach (like how people bump babies on their hips) or before I started doing so. Anyways I can't really remember what my reaction to that thought was or if I started bumping him before or after I had that thought... So I tried not to think much of it but over time I started to spiral really bad and wonder why I thought that and why then I would bump him on my stomach after having that thought or during. I just feel so disgusted. Like was I curious about it? Did I disregard the thought because my brain thinks disturbing things? Ik right now away from that situation that ofc I have no sexual interest in my nephew at all. I played with him and helped changed diaper and everything and never had the urge to do anything inappropriate to him besides that one weird instance. So like I'm so disturbed like did that mean something? I have P OCD but that didn't really feel like an intrusive thought? I also can be very impulsive, and if it was impulsive does that mean I had a desire? Now I'm terrified of having kids even though I wanted some or to foster some. I mean I know but myself I'm not sexually attracted to kids but then why would I think that I am so disturbed really and feel so sick. 😞😞😞😞 I don't know what to do I'm so scared about what my motivation was I feel so bad and scared😞😞😞😞

I posted about this a couple days ago, about a dog chewing a ball while laying in my lap and it was giving me a physical sensation down there that technically felt good because it was right there. I keep replaying the moment in my head as a compulsion and trying to figure it out and I won’t stop until it feels right. I feel like I would know 100% if I indulged in it and let it feel good so I shouldn’t even be questioning if I did do that bc idk if I did. I remember looking down at the dog and realizing that everytime he bit the ball and moved his forward is when it would feel good for me. And while I was noticing that, I can’t help but think back, was that me just recognizing or allowing it to happen or both??? What does that say about me if I allowed myself to indulge in the feeling.

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I’ve been increasingly worried that I’m a zoophile (among other things) and that I’m attracted to my family dog. I love him and I take care of him—I take him out to poop and pee, I play with him, and I feed and water him. But I get nervous when I have to be around him for a long time—I get these thoughts and they just won’t stop. I’ll find myself looking at my dog’s privates and having these strange urges. I feel horrible—like I could’ve done something to him or touched him inappropriately and conveniently don’t remember. I don’t know what to do…