- Username
- PIL1985
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It's like a nightmare of a song stuck in your head
yes exactly, its like the brain torments to say all the things you do not want to say. Whats odd is my wife is biracial so I don't know if this is something from my past but I try to hum to prove the real word is in my head but then fear I have said it or am saying it and how others will react. I recorded myself too in my car and listening to it, its like "oh man...maybe I am saying this" but no reaction from others or response. I would never want to be racist to anyone.
Unfortunately OCD has taken that value overboard. Are you open to trying ERP?
I am. So to give more details, the song lyrics are not clear and sounds like it is saying "neekah flies" and so the word sounding similar I starting to try to repeat in a low tone with my mouth closed fearing I was saying something else and this compulsion was a fear that I was saying something bad at work and caused anxiety.
I had this and still have it only now it doesn’t bother me. And that’s because I didn’t let it stop me from living. I would do things like avoid certain people but that didn’t help so I stopped and that’s what you need to eventually do too. In your case it seems like you’re humming to make sure you thought it? So stop the humming and sit with the thought eventually it gets better when you stop doing the things that make you comfortable.
A hierarchy could include tasks from saying words that rhyme, to writing the feared words, listening to them, and actually saying them
my biggest obsession is about possibly being racist (i’m confident that i’m not racist). it was germ fear before, but that has subsided and now im obsessed with not being racist. can anyone relate? how do you deal with socially-driven obsessions? i have invasive thoughts whenever i’m around anyone who isnt a close friend.
does anyone’s intrusive thoughts ever manifest and not being able to get rid of a certain word? Sometimes when I walk past a black person my brain just repeats the n word over and over and it’s really distressing because it’s the last thing I’d ever want to say
Is there anyone with Racism themed OCD? I've been really struggling with this taboo theme & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement.
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