Suffering from fears of saying a racist word. My brain will keep repeating racist words and I check to make sure I am not saying the complete word like a break in the word and then I get compulsions fearing I did say it for example was humming a song and worried I said the lyrics aloud so i would repeat to prove I wasnt saying it and it makes me worry for example losing my job.

my biggest obsession is about possibly being racist (i’m confident that i’m not racist). it was germ fear before, but that has subsided and now im obsessed with not being racist. can anyone relate? how do you deal with socially-driven obsessions? i have invasive thoughts whenever i’m around anyone who isnt a close friend.

does anyone’s intrusive thoughts ever manifest and not being able to get rid of a certain word? Sometimes when I walk past a black person my brain just repeats the n word over and over and it’s really distressing because it’s the last thing I’d ever want to say

Is there anyone with Racism themed OCD? I've been really struggling with this taboo theme & I'm finding it hard to function/find myself avoiding people out of fear of being perceived as racist. I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because I'm sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement.