Suffering from fears of saying a racist word. My brain will keep repeating racist words and I check to make sure I am not saying the complete word like a break in the word and then I get compulsions fearing I did say it for example was humming a song and worried I said the lyrics aloud so i would repeat to prove I wasnt saying it and it makes me worry for example losing my job.

This is hard to admit, but I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts where the central theme is racism. I don’t use racial slurs but my brain worries that I have said something that hurts or offends someone and now I find myself analyzing every social interaction.

Very brief mentions of pocd and nsfw jokes,id like this to be adults only . Repost bc i had to edit something Does anyone have experience with real event ocd attached to your online footprint etc? I keep checking old messages,trying to find old people i knew i used to talk to etc. To find out every problematic thing I did and if I've ever been unfollowed or blocked by anyone I used to be friends w online/atleast on good terms w. I am particularly concerned abt doing something bigoted,esp racist bc i have racism ocd,and doing something predatory bc of my pocd. I remember hanging around people who could use 'edgy' or offensive humour in my teens and i remember a lot of sex jokes and that i would join in on sex jokes sometimes . i dont remember details w the offensive humour as much,i feel like i didnt join in on it as much but i was definitely WAY passive abt things and prob let a lot of bad stuff slide i shouldnt have bc i didn't speak up it was wrong,I remember one friend in an online community would say slurs and horrible jokes when i was 16. I dont remember my response to it as much but i feel i didnt speak up abt it aside one time i found in the dms where he made a bad joke on a thing i shared for social justice. I cant stop going thru old messages and stuff or trying to find ppl from the past. I feel like if I don't check it now,that eventually it'll come to haunt me or that I'll stumble across it eventually. I worry what if someone messaged me on one of these apps I un-installed or on one of the accounts I don't have access to,confronting me abt all this stuff I did. I had an obsession w this back in 2020 and did check in depth on all my accounts,but now that it's been 4 years the obsession is back in full swing.

I always have fears about getting fired from work and constantly rechecking my old work. I think about 24/7 and how im going to make an enormous mistake that ruins the company and gets me fired. Then, if any type of mistake does happen I let it ruin my day. Ill look back at the past mistake and beat myself up over it. Any suggestions for mindfulness approaches?