Hi everyone, I’ve never shared my ocd experience online before but am 24 yo and have suffered for 10 years. It takes many forms, ranging from hocd, pocd and rocd. I feel like the rocd is starting to affect me with anyone I become romantically involved with, whether or not we are officially a couple, just as soon as I start to feel so happy and excited it comes to ruin it. The obsessive doubts about my feelings and thoughts for the other person make me forget how to even act normal anymore towards them. I feel like every thing I do and say is overthought and fake. Desperate to have a relaxed and content relationship but this is continuously happening. I find this incredibly distressing and exhausting, anyone who feels this way please let me know. I feel so alone Thank you

Oh my gosh! So happy I found your post. For myself, I've been chasing the wrong kind of man for years and falling head over heels for all different kinds of terrible people. It's only this year that I'm in a relatively healthy relationship and my OCD is continuously trying to sabotage it. My brain is trying not tell me I'm not attracted to my partner and convince me to focus on it to a point where I stress. I'm constantly focused on his height (5'9, not even short but my mind tells me he can't be the one if he's not the 6'4 burly "perfect man",) I focus on his facial hair, his skin etc etc everything that could be deemed negative to try and push me away. I also think "is this really love?" And am consistently comparing it to things that aren't even real (fictional characters etc) I've started taking my medication again in the hopes it will reduce the stress. Don't worry you're definitely not alone in this!

Thank you all, it was so nice to wake up to these replies (I’m from the UK) but am sorry that you can all relate. The one thing I try to remember is that when I don’t like someone, I’m very sure of that. The thought becomes ‘how do I end this’ rather than ‘omg I must end this, but for what reason?’. Feelings are so complex because we can’t see of touch them. Only we can feel what we feel. When this first happened I thought I was just in the wrong relationship, but I’ve had 4 relationships since and it’s the exact same cycle and thought process :( I see other people in relationships, so calm, and I just can’t imagine how it must feel to not be obsessing and ruminating about your other half every second of every day. I feel that I go for the bad boys because they are so problematic, that I become more worried about their horrible actions than my own thoughts. So when a guy is worthwhile, my brain wants something to be wrong.

Hi, i feel in the same way. Is so frustrated, i didn’t know that I have this ocd until I met my boyfriend. When we met we had an incredible conexión, we never felt that before! We are from differents country and we are having a relationship by distance so is really really hard. Im everytime trying to figured out what is my reality about my feelings for him, sometimes I go back to those feelings that I have, but then I start feeling that I don’t feel anything and I’m just forcing myself to love him. Specially when I’m saying “I love you” or call him as “my baby” I feel like is everything fake. Im doing the epr therapy that is helping me a lot but is not something easy! You are not alone !

I relate. It’s very difficult :(

I can relate! I got diagnosed with OCD about a year ago now but realized ive had it for quite a few years. In the beginning of my relationship I was head over heels for my boyfriend. He is the perfect guy for me and treats me so well. But we are looking into moving in together and our future and my brain is just picking all the potential flaws. Like doubting whether or not hes a handy man to care for a house, or will he help me around the house when we move in together. Getting these thoughts make me start dwelling and thinking negatively about him. I hate it, these are normal thoughts that anyone would think of when moving in with someone for the first time but they just get stuck in my head and cause me to overthink. I wish I never had doubt, my boyfriend is always so optimistic and has a good spirit, and brings my up too. I pray one day these doubts leave me.