PIL1985
- Date posted
- 5y
Riso123Riso123
- Date posted
- 5y
Firstly, none of us will tell you it's all going to be ok. This goes against what is healthy for OCD. No matter how much "proof" you get that you ate going to be ok, you will always come back round to that "but what if" thought process. Look at the things you do know: - It was 13 years ago - You (as far as I'm aware) are not actually a paedophile - You have so far wasted 13 years on this worry and yet you ate still on the streets a free man - That "child" is now 13 years older and no longer a child either way The internet in these circumstances is a terrible weapon in FAVOUR of OCD. If you look deep enough, I'm sure you will find all sorts of stories where people where locked up for similar cases. However most would be exaggeration and there would be other factors which ate not in those stories. You need to primarily step away from Google. Google is not a friend of OCD. You need to get a therapist and you need to be HONEST. You did something. You don't know the exact facts. A lot of what you are worrying about is in your own mind. A therapist will not judge you, they will put things in perspective and then teach you to deal with your OCD healthily without the thought action fusion reassurance you are seeking.
fruflamuresafruflamuresa
- Date posted
- 5y
I have a similar experience ://
PIL1985PIL1985
- Date posted
- 5y
I guess I have to look at this like any other rational person, prosecutor or jury would look at it. Was there intent? Was communication cut off? Would the "injury" be treated equally with any other situation say an adult website where adult camera websites exist? In the case of innocent until proven guilty, can it be proven an adult wasn't the one engaged in the activity? I would assume a profile with the age being appropriate and signing contract that someone is of that age is that the assumption is that is the actual individual unless proven otherwise.
fruflamuresafruflamuresa
- Date posted
- 5y
I hate uncertainty. Its the worst.
PIL1985PIL1985
- Date posted
- 5y
It's more than that. I am 34 now, have worked since that time for many tech companies, have a succesful career, married to a beautiful wife with a 2 year old son, she knows about all these issues and supports me. We travel internationally often and I just have this terrifying fear everything will come burning and crashing down. I feel much regret and frustration as well as fear that I was so stupid at the time going on camera for really a stranger. Yes I used my best judgement that this person was an adult, in my mind and based on all information based on what was there that this person was absolutely an adult and now the fear if I was catfished..who is the victim? If it somehow did turn out to be a minor, society and the law will not see me as the victim but as the predator with a sexual addiction who should be kept away from children and at the very least a person who should have been more cautious but still guilty due to the circumstantial facts regardless of how much I knew or not or my intent. That is a terrifying prospective.
Riso123Riso123
- Date posted
- 5y
Mate. This is exactly my fear. Although mine has now morphed in to me just generally letting my family down by letting our house fall down or one of my children dying because I didn't do enough to ensure their safety. You NEED to get a therapist. I doubt want to reassure you, BUT think about sites like chat roulette. Kids go on there, yet most of the people you see ate older blokes masturbating. Firstly - not one person had ever been prosecuted for this although you can be due a minor will have seen them. Secondly - do you think those blokes give it a second thought? They do it with intent for people to see them doing that, yet don't care. This is the first and last time I will post anything remotely related to reassuring you, add its unhealthy for you to get that reassurance. You need to become comfortable living with the unknown. You can't change your past and you ate ruminating, which is part of the OCD cycle. You don't know what will happen in future. After you seriously going to spend the rest of your life worrying about arrest or the worst happening to affect your family? As my therapist told me - "on your death bed, you will call your grandchildren close and ask, aare the police about to arrest me?"
Riso123Riso123
- Date posted
- 5y
@Greenwhale Greenwhale is right. You need to get help. This can escalate and become debilitating. I talk from experience as I was exactly the same. Mine was - what if I watched porn and one of then wad underage and I hadn't known. I started to seek constant assurance and done people don't get it. If it helps - we know this is OCD and ate confident that with help you can get better. Just don't expect to ever be cured. You can learn to live with OCD, but you will not be free of it.
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isharemycigs
- Date posted
- 24w
What do I do
when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do
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Givenup
- Date posted
- 8w
Pocd and harm OCD
18+ When I was in high school (16 or 17), I hung out with the popular kids of school... they send me this popular girl (who was in our school) explicit photo on snap because I was curious to see it... after I turned 19, I suddenly remembered my friends sent the photo and asked them to delete it off of the chat, as I didn't want to be in possession of any form of illegal material... Fast forward to later... my friend had broken up with his ex and wanted to send us explicit pics of her... curious at the time, I asked to see it and he sent the group (including me) some pictures... Now that Im 24, I remember him sending these pics and asked him to take down the pics in our snapchat convo... I didnt want any pics of their ex because this was harmful content... my friend, (the one who sent our friend group explicit vids and pics of his ex) told me that there was a one month period between him and her when they were in a relationship where he was 18 and she was 17 )... they were together for 1-2 years... and they were explicit throughout their whole relationship ... including the one month period... so i was getting extremely anxious and triggered about him sending me potentially illegal stuff... i think i misheard him say she was 17... but i cant remember if he said this or not... I asked him several times over the course of three days after he casually admitted he had a 1 month age period with her, (he was 18 and she was 17 during that one month) if she was over 18 when he made those videos, and he kept giving me answers like "Yes" And "It was a month after she turned 18..." He even got frustrated on the second day of me asking and said "Dude, this is the 10th time you've asked me and yes she was." On the third day I asked him, he said "yeah" when i said his previous comments of "a month after she turned 18, right?" back to him, and he even added that "we started getting more explicitly active around this time." He also told me "Even if she was under the age of 18, you wouldn't be in trouble because you were sent it." Yesterday, I called him again and apologized for asking so much... to which he responded... "I was hoping you'd realize this has been excessive..." But then I asked him if she really was 18 in those videos or not... he got frustrated and said... "Dude, you cant keep apologizing over and over, before asking me again..." Still, I asked him to confirm it for me one last time, to which he replied... "She was 18 in those videos..." I keep getting anxious because I dont know if he's lying or not and its triggering me really bad, not to mention feeling guilty about the harm I had caused... I genuinely feel so guilty and awful about this... I hurt people... and I cant sleep at night knowing I did... People say you make mistakes when you were a teen... these were some of my mistakes... I genuinely feel horrible and I cant sleep at night knowing the guilt of my actions are still there... I genuinely feel awful... I hope people dont hate me after reading this... i hope you dont block me... you've all been so genuinely kind and encouraging to me... and I dont want to lose someone who cares about me on here... (edited)
Givenup
- Date posted
- 8w
Pocd and my fears
UPDATE: I couldnt do it... i couldnt stop posting... this situation is too triggering and thinking about the worst possible outcome scares me... in the past, I have been catfished by a man pretending to be a woman, had a minor on a dating app who lied about her age and i unknowingly flirted with her because I assumed she was 18+ and her bio said so, and sent an 18+ pic to a "woman" online who now I suspect of being a catfish... this is the reason why I'm so scared of whether or not I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor without knowing... it genuinely scares me... Its making me think that I unknowingly inappropriately chatted with a minor in the past without knowing and it genuinely triggers me... I have tried to go back through most 18+ online interactions ive had with women online to make sure they didnt lie or they confirmed their age... i have two situations on discord that trigger me that ive posted about in the past... and a couple have deleted their discords so thats triggering me really bad... most who deleted their discords were verified but still... why delete your discord, you know...? for context i was on 18+ explicit discord servers meant for sex that you cant just join regularly on iPhone due to it being for adults only... Ive also been to a website dedicated to adult 18+ literature... they also have an 18+ chat room where you can talk to other users... i know ive made stupid mistakes going on here... i wont deny that... and now im paying for it with the uncertainty... veterans of the site, who have been on there for over 9 years, have told me that the chances of a minor lying about their age and coming onto the chat portion of the website are rare... but it still triggers me all the same... Im scared of someone one day in the future accusing me of doing horrible things like unknowingly inappropriately messaging minors, or have my worst fears of unknowingly explicitly messaging a minor confirmed to have happened and I didnt know about it...
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