- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I understand that this is difficult. We struggle everyday. It can overcome your joy, relationships, daily life, and you as a person. It feels like a constant battle. It my help relieve some anexity if you speak to your husband and let him know what your going through. I did the same thing with my husband. We dated for a few yeas and then got married. I was worried he would pass judgement or think i was being "silly". But i felt at the same time i needed to overcome this fear with one step and just talk to him. When i finally did i felt so much better. I didnt have to hide it or when i have a difficult day hes there to comfort me. Take it one step at a time and i hope you find some peace. We are here listening.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve had ocd for almost 30 years too and mine also got bad again. Ocd is more widely known than it was 30 years ago so I wouldn’t worrr so much about the stigma. Maybe you can say to your husband you realized you have it so you don’t feel so alone? Not sure what RBt is...Did you try ERP? I tried just general cbt but it’s rather different and didn’t help me whereas ERP has a high success rate. I start erp this week. Also, there’s new treatments for ultra resistant ocd — TMS and ketamine...if you’re on this app seems like a good first step and you’re ready for some outside help so you can lead a better life.
- Date posted
- 5y
RBT is basically the same as CBT. I tried telling my husband once but his reaction made me stop the conversation. His sister knows. I've tried Prozac, Zoloft, Effexor, Wellbutrin, and a few more I can't recall at the moment. I've tried the ERP some but in my mind I think "What if my OCD is right, and if I don't do this ritual my cat will die"? That's just an example. OCD affects literally almost every single thing I do. Bathing, cleaning, walking, laundry, reading, typing, tying my shoes, every single activity brings a compulsion and a ritual. At times it's exhausting.
- Date posted
- 5y
No, it's exhausting always.
- Date posted
- 5y
If I were you, since you seem resistant to therapy or meds, i would try a new ocd therapist and TMS or ketamine. A new therapist will help you see the absurdity of ocd thoughts even when they seem “real”. I haven’t done a lot of OCD reading but Maybe there’s a book you can have your husband read that better explains it. I know I’ve told my boyfriend I’m ocd and he’s just like oh ok (as it’s pretty popular condition in NY) but has never asked me more and I’ve never bothered to explain the details. But that’s also why I’m starting ERP so I hopefully don’t have to explain the severity bc I’ll improve... but I also wouldn’t be able to hide it from my boyfriend if we were to move in together or get married bc I have too many rituals. I think the hiding of it would cause me a lot of distress and make my ocd worse...
- Date posted
- 5y
Hiding it isn’t too difficult for me because he works a lot and my rituals aren’t extremely obvious, you’d have to really pay attention. Of course I think I just don’t get caught performing the rituals too. I was shamed as a child and teen by family because of my OCD. It’s something I’ve kept from everyone as a result. Just typing these words is cathartic, I don’t have to hold it in anymore. Hope that makes sense
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Please if someone can reply! I really just need someone to talk to. I don’t even know how to control my OCD. It honestly feels like it’s controlling me. Everyday my mind focuses on every bodily sensation I have and it’s like a broken record player, I have horrible health anxiety and my OCD just makes it worst just thinking about it everyday. It feels like everyone who I explain it to looks at me like I’m stupid/crazy. I use to be much more tame with my OCD, I use to eat things without worry, now I can’t even touch things I use to eat without worrying that I’ll get an allergic reaction (despite eating them BEFORE,,,but my mind tells me otherwise) and omg worrying about heart attacks, pulmonary issues..and I couldn’t even enjoy my own child’s birth because my mind was on high alert thinking I would hemorrhage any second or develop pre-E (complications of postpartum) I was miserable for the first couple of months of my baby’s life and I didn’t know what to do. And now, I’m pregnant with my second (4wks) and all the OCD thoughts and anxiety is coming back at me and I have no one to talk to, I feel lonely. And even if I considered taking a pill, I’d worry about being allergic to it and refusing to take it. I ruin everything for everyone. I remember I ate out one night and I started to think “you’re gonna pass out! You’re gonna pass out! (Without ever passing out before) and I had to leave! I feel like I ruin the mood for everyone when I don’t even try to, and I hate it.
- Date posted
- 17w
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
- Date posted
- 12w
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
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