- Username
- AR
- Date posted
- 4y ago
What if you just sat and stared at one until your anxiety level went down?
Staring doesn’t typically help. Not looking (Avoidance) seems to be better, but impossible to avoid looking all the time.
@AR It’s my understanding that avoidance of what makes you anxious makes the OCD worse. I know when I had harm OCD I was scared to be around razors and knives. When I had relationship-focused OCD I avoided spending quiet time with my boyfriend. My current fear relates to breaking contact with a toxic person so I am making a concerted effort not to avoid my phone or laptop.
You might consider a mindfulness exercise where you view these thoughts about imperfections as clouds in the sky or leaves floating in a stream. For me, using the latter metaphor, I think of soda cans and candy wrappers also floating beside the beautiful fall leaves. The trash represent intrusive thoughts. In this metaphor, I acknowledge the existence of the intrusive thought or trash in the stream, but choose not to engage it in any way. Instead, I just let it float downstream. I can definitely relate to what you describe and, for me, this approach has been very helpful. All the best!
I am now confined to apartment with a lot of time to look at marks on walls. I am using your mindfulness exercise. Still tough, but thank you again.
Thank you.
Great advice. Thank you!
I am now confined to apartment with a lot of time to look at marks on walls. I am using your mindfulness exercise. Still tough, but thank you again.
Those marks are a lot like an annoying itch. It's not always easy to keep from scratching it, but when you do, has anything traumatic ever happened?
No. Just so difficult to avoid trying to wipe them off or paint over them, but every time I do I just make it look worse. It’s like a vicious cycle: I see the mark, can’t help myself from trying to fix it and when I do I make it look worse and the cycle just perpetuates. I have to learn to live with the marks - just a difficult exposure for me. I’ve been doing this for years. The behavior is VERY ingrained.
I understand, really I do. One thing that I think is important is how you view this situation. You say, "I can't help myself..." But, the truth is that it is a choice whether to act on intrusive thoughts or not. So, I would recommend reframing it as, "I choose to give in to the intrusive thoughts." You have to power to decide whether or not to engage and act on an intrusive thought. Also, when you experience these intrusive thoughts, I would encourage you to focus your attention on what it is you truly value in your life. I am confident that it is really not ensuring that all marks on the wall are nonexistent.
Thank you. I think refocusing on what I truly value is very helpful. Just need to avoid this reflexive need to make everything perfect which I am finding impossible to do.
"Perfect is the enemy of good" -- Voltaire
Very nice! Thank you!
You're welcome!
I have the hardest time figuring out how to do ERP treatment because I'm confused about how I'm supposed to know what's OCD & what's just personality quirks or interests that are different from other people. Like for example therapists ask patients to make a picture on the wall crooked for an exposure & habituate to that. Me, I like pictures hanging straight. It's a preference of mine. I could list alot of other examples. This gets confusing alot of the time. Anyone else experience this?
How do you resist compulsions?
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