- Username
- Madeline
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sounds like you’ve identified a great trigger for some ERP. Dress up! Start wearing clothes to TRY to get responses from the same sex. If you do get a compliment or get noticed, don’t perform compulsions. Over time, this will stop being so triggering and you’ll feel free to wear whatever you want again. That’s ERP in action.
Yes I definitely need to start doing more of that. I’ve been trying really hard to not do my compulsions if I feel triggered
I feel I get more anxiety if don’t dress up and if I wear clothes that are more Tomboyish, because then I would “look like I’m a lesbian” so I try to wear the clothes anyway and expose myself to that thought!
Oh I understand that one as well! I mean the fact that we are doing this shows that it’s a fear
I don't give a damn... accept your worries & fears & put them aside... I have always suffered from obsessive fears of social acceptance & honor as a woman living in the Middle East... & I'm telling you, never allow society & its norms to limit your free spirit & behavior... recognize that this fear has evolved in our brains out of desire to survive through being accepted by our human groups... but we no longer need to survive, we need to let go of our survival fears to be able to thrive freely as individuals & compassionately as an earth community :-)
It isn't that with HOCD we are afraid of acceptance it just feels wrong to us. Individually we just don't feel that way (gay/bi) which makes us afraid we are going to turn into it
Hocd has nothing to do with social acceptance. It’s more feeling out of place or like you’re not being yourself anymore.
@imokay Also I feel like there’s limits with accepting uncertainty. Yes there’s always the idea that something could change or not be as it seems, but I don’t think that means you should ignore everything or dissociate from life. There is grounding in identification and knowing what you are and what you do. I just feel like there needs to be a middle ground of accepting uncertainty, but also having this confidence and assurance with yourself with whatever you want to be instead of giving up and not grounding yourself in anything and not caring.
@imokay Exactly what I try arguing. Confidence I feel is the key to accept uncertainty, a little bit assurance, confidence and that idea of uncertain happenings gives the key to recovery (IMO).
Yeah I have that fear, bisexual girls have teased and flirted with me a lot and even at times complimented me and i never minded it but now I'm kind of afraid they'll turn me gay
I feel you! I get it from my best friend (she’s straight but gives a TON of compliments) like literally anytime I dress up she’ll be like “Omg you look amazing etc etc” So in the back of my head I think “Oh she’ll probably say I’m pretty” and my hocd goes “Gay! Bisexual!”
@Madeline Omg fucking yes!!! Lol
I get worried I'll look "sexy" or "like a prostitute" to anyone. Just OCD messing with me
I fear the same thing just a little but I love getting dressed up and looking aesthetic and pretty (though in not)
Yes I guess the fear for me comes in that my mind will immediately say “Blank will probably say I look pretty.” Because that’s just something I’ve been accustomed to. So now I think I’m gay
I'm not sure what is your defined borders of confidence & uncertainty... what I'm trying to say is to not be eluded to be limited by socio/cultural identities that are recognized by society... yes, I feel confidence in myself as a creature that evolved through this universe, in my uniqueness, in my capacity for change. But I wouldn't ground myself in a nationality, a religion, a sexual orientation, etc., because society tells me that this is the only thing that makes me "accepted" to be valuable! :-/
I feel like you see identity as a limitation, but it doesn’t have to be. Part of identity is establishing community. Like all of us here identify as having OCD and we find community in each other. You don’t have to reject identity to feel accepted. You need to accept yourself. Not rely on other people. Whether you identify with anything or not. I identify with some things, but not others. I don’t identify with anything politically, but I do identify in gender and sexuality but that doesn’t make me limited or a people pleaser. I do what I want as do you. I think you confuse identity and freedom with acceptance. They don’t go hand in hand. If you choose to not identify with anything that’s fine, I just want you to do so for the right reasons. Do it because that’s what you feel like doing not because you’re trying to make a point or say “f you” to society.
@imokay Yeah, I understand what you mean... Well, I'm not saying that I don't identity with some things, even non-identification is an identity in & of itself! My point is to become self/aware, & practice meta/cognition consistently to try to know the difference in our thoughts & behaviors between what we do because it's who we really are, & what we do because of subtle indoctrination of the culture we're embedded in! Of course, not all cultural indoctrinations are bad... but the thing is to become "self-aware" of its manifestation in you, & how it affects your choices, in your own pursuit for self-freedom, as well as inspiring others toward collective awareness & freedom too... I don't have the type of homosexual OCD, but in my opinion, OCD is the manifestation of survival fears in the human brain (whether germs, not being accepted, & in my case, being harmed & failing in society)... so it is an over reaction toward the threat of not surviving in the human group & in the environment around us... we can try to heal from OCD by becoming aware of this...
Does anybody else obsess with other people being gay and start thinking that everybody is gay and then think because they do this it makes them gay
Hii. So this is kind of a weird thing but bear with me. I know when people come out, others will say "oh we've known" or like "I'm not surprised" and that's definitely an insensitive thing to say but I fear that my friends/peers talk about me and think I give off bi/lesbian energy but don't tell me. Like if my SOOCD isn't real and I came out one day, would people say that? I'm just afraid that my friends talk behind my back about me in that way and so I go the extra mile to avoid those LGBTQ+ stereotypes whatever that may be. Even stupid shit like having a nose piercing or clear phone case etc. My OCD clings onto that thought and so I'm always conscious in my head about not trying to give off that energy based off how I present myself and it's so exhausting like I wish I could just wear whatever without being like "oh I saw a tik tok one time that says this type of shirt is a gay thing" or whatever. I am not in any way homophobic as I'm an ally of the LGBTQ+ community but my OCD just drives me crazy and because of that I have this constant fear of being perceived as bi/lesbian. Sorry this was long and all over the place LMAO but if anyone can relate/ has advice it would be so appreciated because I honestly just feel so alone
I have HOCD but I feel like I’m not attracted to anyone anymore and it scares me into thinking I’ll never find men attractive again (I’m a heterosexual female). It feels like no man will ever find me attractive again either. I also am terrified that everyone else thinks I’m gay because I don’t fit the typical straight stereotypes. I wear fun earrings and bright colors all the time and it makes me feel like everyone thinks I’m gay. I’ve been teased for being gay, and I know that I’m straight, but it just scares me that I’ll never be able to be myself because of the stereotype. Does anyone else get either of these feelings?
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