Anyone else get anxious when they get dressed up because they’re afraid they elicit responses from same sex and that it will be like”Bam! You’re gay!”

Yes I definitely need to start doing more of that. I’ve been trying really hard to not do my compulsions if I feel triggered

Oh I understand that one as well! I mean the fact that we are doing this shows that it’s a fear

It isn't that with HOCD we are afraid of acceptance it just feels wrong to us. Individually we just don't feel that way (gay/bi) which makes us afraid we are going to turn into it

Hocd has nothing to do with social acceptance. It’s more feeling out of place or like you’re not being yourself anymore.

@imokay Also I feel like there’s limits with accepting uncertainty. Yes there’s always the idea that something could change or not be as it seems, but I don’t think that means you should ignore everything or dissociate from life. There is grounding in identification and knowing what you are and what you do. I just feel like there needs to be a middle ground of accepting uncertainty, but also having this confidence and assurance with yourself with whatever you want to be instead of giving up and not grounding yourself in anything and not caring.

@imokay Exactly what I try arguing. Confidence I feel is the key to accept uncertainty, a little bit assurance, confidence and that idea of uncertain happenings gives the key to recovery (IMO).

I feel you! I get it from my best friend (she’s straight but gives a TON of compliments) like literally anytime I dress up she’ll be like “Omg you look amazing etc etc” So in the back of my head I think “Oh she’ll probably say I’m pretty” and my hocd goes “Gay! Bisexual!”

@Madeline Omg fucking yes!!! Lol

I fear the same thing just a little but I love getting dressed up and looking aesthetic and pretty (though in not)

Yes I guess the fear for me comes in that my mind will immediately say “Blank will probably say I look pretty.” Because that’s just something I’ve been accustomed to. So now I think I’m gay

I feel like you see identity as a limitation, but it doesn’t have to be. Part of identity is establishing community. Like all of us here identify as having OCD and we find community in each other. You don’t have to reject identity to feel accepted. You need to accept yourself. Not rely on other people. Whether you identify with anything or not. I identify with some things, but not others. I don’t identify with anything politically, but I do identify in gender and sexuality but that doesn’t make me limited or a people pleaser. I do what I want as do you. I think you confuse identity and freedom with acceptance. They don’t go hand in hand. If you choose to not identify with anything that’s fine, I just want you to do so for the right reasons. Do it because that’s what you feel like doing not because you’re trying to make a point or say “f you” to society.

@imokay Yeah, I understand what you mean... Well, I'm not saying that I don't identity with some things, even non-identification is an identity in & of itself! My point is to become self/aware, & practice meta/cognition consistently to try to know the difference in our thoughts & behaviors between what we do because it's who we really are, & what we do because of subtle indoctrination of the culture we're embedded in! Of course, not all cultural indoctrinations are bad... but the thing is to become "self-aware" of its manifestation in you, & how it affects your choices, in your own pursuit for self-freedom, as well as inspiring others toward collective awareness & freedom too... I don't have the type of homosexual OCD, but in my opinion, OCD is the manifestation of survival fears in the human brain (whether germs, not being accepted, & in my case, being harmed & failing in society)... so it is an over reaction toward the threat of not surviving in the human group & in the environment around us... we can try to heal from OCD by becoming aware of this...