I’m a gay guy and I always felt different, but in a gay way, you know. I’ve never questioned my gender identity and I always felt in the right body. But since I saw the instagram profile of a trans girl, I can’t stop thinking “what if I’m trans?”. Literally I think about this the HOLE DAY and I always look for evidence that I’m or not trans. And the worse thing is that as a gay guy I’ve done things or liked things which are stereotypically for girls. This thought gave me panic attacks, anxiety and stress during all the day. I’m scared and confused because my mind keeps telling me that there’s should be something and for some reason I thought about it. It’s like my brain has been replaced during this month. I just want to go back in time and be the happy guy that I was before, I miss my life.

As a gay guy maybe you feel closer to the trans community because they are also LGBTQ+. I think its important to note that if this is a new obsession, it might make you believe you’re transphobic. Just because you are scared and feel like you’re questioning your gender, whether it be an obsession or reality, just be open. If it’s TOCD it might help you accept the uncertainty that comes with OCD. Part of ERP would be to say “maybe I am trans”. Don’t try to ignore it but think about it from a different perspective. Incredibly hard, I know. TOCD (also similar for HOCD) is more like the worry that you are trans but don’t know it. Like you aren’t who you though you were?

YES. I have a really hard time. I doubt I have OCD. I’m like “it’s my OCD” then next minute I think “what if it’s just me?”

I don’t even know who I am, I’ve always been very confident and proud of who I am, now that just went away and obsessions and anxiety replaced it

I’d don’t have this obsession but I know lots of people do. You are not alone. It’s called TOCD. Just another manifestation of OCD and an obsession. Disclaimer: When I say ‘just’, I don’t mean to say that it’s not a horrible obsession, it was meant to be expressed with a sigh. I feel for you.

english is not my native language, sorry for possible spelling mistakes

No matter your sexuality, There is nothing wrong with liking things that are stereotypically of the opposite sex. That is something the culture has confused and put labels on. If you find you are trans, you do not have to get a surgery to identify as trans. You can be non-op trans. Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about this? Maybe someone who has questioned their identity before or just a trusted friend? Hopefully gaining the courage to share the thoughts and discuss them out loud with some one will help ease your mind. When I keep things inside my brain that are eating at me like that I turns into a huge spiral of more and more angst. I personally have not questioned my sexuality, but I truly try my best to listen and gain understanding so that I can give emotional support to those around me dealing with this. I hope this helped.. and if nothing I said applies, just know that someone out here is hopeful for you and you are strong enough to figure this out. (:

I’ve talk to others gay friends and they did exactly the same things I did as a child that worries me. I just don’t understand, why my brain is constantly tricking me?? I go to therapy and the therapist told me that I had the symptoms of pure OCD. But immediately I started doubting about if I truly have OCD or i’m in denial

I know this post is old, but if you are still there I just wanted you to know, I relate to this. I stuggled with the same theme, and I still do some. And I’m also a gay guy.

@perfectsyzygy and @manuel coria: I'm in the same boat. In 2016 I came out as a gay man, and soon thereafter I had my first OCD spike. I initially had health OCD and as soon as I proved I didn't have a neurological disorder, my brain hopped on TOCD. It lingered for about a year until it went away on its own. I had about 18 months away from OCD and it reared its head again as relationship OCD. It took me about a year to get over that and had another 6 months free from OCD. In July of 2020 I had a rough patch of OCD that was focused on self harm but again, I was good until December when a close friend announced they were Trans and it all came back. I got on an ERP waitlist and now I am doing ERP at a real top notch joint... but it is brutal. Anyway, long story short, tl;dr: I am another gay guy with TOCD if you ever wanna chat.