- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
As a gay guy maybe you feel closer to the trans community because they are also LGBTQ+. I think its important to note that if this is a new obsession, it might make you believe you’re transphobic. Just because you are scared and feel like you’re questioning your gender, whether it be an obsession or reality, just be open. If it’s TOCD it might help you accept the uncertainty that comes with OCD. Part of ERP would be to say “maybe I am trans”. Don’t try to ignore it but think about it from a different perspective. Incredibly hard, I know. TOCD (also similar for HOCD) is more like the worry that you are trans but don’t know it. Like you aren’t who you though you were?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
YES. I have a really hard time. I doubt I have OCD. I’m like “it’s my OCD” then next minute I think “what if it’s just me?”
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t even know who I am, I’ve always been very confident and proud of who I am, now that just went away and obsessions and anxiety replaced it
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’d don’t have this obsession but I know lots of people do. You are not alone. It’s called TOCD. Just another manifestation of OCD and an obsession. Disclaimer: When I say ‘just’, I don’t mean to say that it’s not a horrible obsession, it was meant to be expressed with a sigh. I feel for you.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
english is not my native language, sorry for possible spelling mistakes
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No matter your sexuality, There is nothing wrong with liking things that are stereotypically of the opposite sex. That is something the culture has confused and put labels on. If you find you are trans, you do not have to get a surgery to identify as trans. You can be non-op trans. Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about this? Maybe someone who has questioned their identity before or just a trusted friend? Hopefully gaining the courage to share the thoughts and discuss them out loud with some one will help ease your mind. When I keep things inside my brain that are eating at me like that I turns into a huge spiral of more and more angst. I personally have not questioned my sexuality, but I truly try my best to listen and gain understanding so that I can give emotional support to those around me dealing with this. I hope this helped.. and if nothing I said applies, just know that someone out here is hopeful for you and you are strong enough to figure this out. (:
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’ve talk to others gay friends and they did exactly the same things I did as a child that worries me. I just don’t understand, why my brain is constantly tricking me?? I go to therapy and the therapist told me that I had the symptoms of pure OCD. But immediately I started doubting about if I truly have OCD or i’m in denial
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I know this post is old, but if you are still there I just wanted you to know, I relate to this. I stuggled with the same theme, and I still do some. And I’m also a gay guy.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@perfectsyzygy and @manuel coria: I'm in the same boat. In 2016 I came out as a gay man, and soon thereafter I had my first OCD spike. I initially had health OCD and as soon as I proved I didn't have a neurological disorder, my brain hopped on TOCD. It lingered for about a year until it went away on its own. I had about 18 months away from OCD and it reared its head again as relationship OCD. It took me about a year to get over that and had another 6 months free from OCD. In July of 2020 I had a rough patch of OCD that was focused on self harm but again, I was good until December when a close friend announced they were Trans and it all came back. I got on an ERP waitlist and now I am doing ERP at a real top notch joint... but it is brutal. Anyway, long story short, tl;dr: I am another gay guy with TOCD if you ever wanna chat.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
how are you doing now?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 5w ago
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
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