Manuel Coria
- Date posted
- 6y
BeccaBecca
- Date posted
- 6y
As a gay guy maybe you feel closer to the trans community because they are also LGBTQ+. I think its important to note that if this is a new obsession, it might make you believe you’re transphobic. Just because you are scared and feel like you’re questioning your gender, whether it be an obsession or reality, just be open. If it’s TOCD it might help you accept the uncertainty that comes with OCD. Part of ERP would be to say “maybe I am trans”. Don’t try to ignore it but think about it from a different perspective. Incredibly hard, I know. TOCD (also similar for HOCD) is more like the worry that you are trans but don’t know it. Like you aren’t who you though you were?
BeccaBecca
- Date posted
- 6y
YES. I have a really hard time. I doubt I have OCD. I’m like “it’s my OCD” then next minute I think “what if it’s just me?”
Manuel CoriaManuel Coria
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t even know who I am, I’ve always been very confident and proud of who I am, now that just went away and obsessions and anxiety replaced it
BeccaBecca
- Date posted
- 6y
I’d don’t have this obsession but I know lots of people do. You are not alone. It’s called TOCD. Just another manifestation of OCD and an obsession. Disclaimer: When I say ‘just’, I don’t mean to say that it’s not a horrible obsession, it was meant to be expressed with a sigh. I feel for you.
Manuel CoriaManuel Coria
- Date posted
- 6y
english is not my native language, sorry for possible spelling mistakes
Ariel_DancerAriel_Dancer
- Date posted
- 6y
No matter your sexuality, There is nothing wrong with liking things that are stereotypically of the opposite sex. That is something the culture has confused and put labels on. If you find you are trans, you do not have to get a surgery to identify as trans. You can be non-op trans. Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about this? Maybe someone who has questioned their identity before or just a trusted friend? Hopefully gaining the courage to share the thoughts and discuss them out loud with some one will help ease your mind. When I keep things inside my brain that are eating at me like that I turns into a huge spiral of more and more angst. I personally have not questioned my sexuality, but I truly try my best to listen and gain understanding so that I can give emotional support to those around me dealing with this. I hope this helped.. and if nothing I said applies, just know that someone out here is hopeful for you and you are strong enough to figure this out. (:
Manuel CoriaManuel Coria
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve talk to others gay friends and they did exactly the same things I did as a child that worries me. I just don’t understand, why my brain is constantly tricking me?? I go to therapy and the therapist told me that I had the symptoms of pure OCD. But immediately I started doubting about if I truly have OCD or i’m in denial
PerfectSyzygyPerfectSyzygy
- Date posted
- 5y
I know this post is old, but if you are still there I just wanted you to know, I relate to this. I stuggled with the same theme, and I still do some. And I’m also a gay guy.
probs92probs92
- Date posted
- 3y
@perfectsyzygy and @manuel coria: I'm in the same boat. In 2016 I came out as a gay man, and soon thereafter I had my first OCD spike. I initially had health OCD and as soon as I proved I didn't have a neurological disorder, my brain hopped on TOCD. It lingered for about a year until it went away on its own. I had about 18 months away from OCD and it reared its head again as relationship OCD. It took me about a year to get over that and had another 6 months free from OCD. In July of 2020 I had a rough patch of OCD that was focused on self harm but again, I was good until December when a close friend announced they were Trans and it all came back. I got on an ERP waitlist and now I am doing ERP at a real top notch joint... but it is brutal. Anyway, long story short, tl;dr: I am another gay guy with TOCD if you ever wanna chat.
Anonymous20222Anonymous20222
- Date posted
- 3y
how are you doing now?
Related posts
ermhiiii
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi
I just recently kind of was getting over my Constant spiral of “am I a lesbian or bi?”(im a lesbian) and now I’ve been tackled by “am I trans” even tho I’ve never questioned my gender ever, I love being a woman, and I never thought I’d ever be dealing with this since I’ve always been so sure of being a woman, anybody else?
gwen_weaver
- Date posted
- 23w
am i trans or am i confused?
My boyfriend is ftm, and I’m very supportive of him and his journey with gender. It opened a lot of conversations between us about each others gender/sexuality. I’ve known for a long time that i’m pan, but I’ve struggled a lot with my own gender. My OCD causes me to doubt myself a lot, one day i feel hyper feminine and have no desire to identify as a man, but the next day I am extremely dysphoric about my body/hair/voice and wonder if I’m ftm as well? and then it goes away the next day. Some days I don’t even feel feminine OR masculine. I spend a lot of my time ruminating over if i’m trans, and abt the possibility of me spending the rest of my life either not knowing, or settling for whatever’s easiest for myself and everyone around me. I don’t know if I actually believe I’m a man, or if I’m pretending, or if it’s just in my head. Its like I don’t know what to trust since my opinion is different every day, and it feels like I can’t trust my own intuition. It’s starting to affect my sex drive, my sleep, my self confidence, and my self image. It’s really confusing me and I’m wondering if anyone can relate or has some advice. Thank you:)
ryan_12
- Date posted
- 13w
What is this ?
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond