- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! 100%! I’m sorry you’re going through this! COVID-19 has made my symptoms way worse too! I’ve been in my relationship 6 years and for the first 4 years I was so happy and felt so in love but for the last 2 years I’ve truly been feeling out of love with him (even though I do still LOVE him a lot) and have a lot of concerns about our relationship since we’re so different. I also obsess a lot about the attractiveness thing since he’s gained 80 lbs since we started dating. I get so caught up in “am I still attracted to him enough?” I did a lot of research on ROCD to see if I had it but I never thought I did since I felt like all of my concerns were truly valid and not just my brain trying to sabbotage something that was otherwise “great.” I knew we didn’t have a picturesque relationship and therefore I thought it wasn’t ROCD. However last week I finally started ERP with an NOCD therapist and she said I DO have relationship OCD because of how much I obsess about our relationship- regardless of if my concerns are valid or not and that ROCD takes MANY forms. I’ve always obsessed a lot about friendships too, so the ROCD diagnosis actually makes sense. Do you live with your partner? If so I’m sure that’s a huge added challenge- to be stuck at home with them all the time and obsessing about the relationship’s “flaws” or your partner’s “flaws.” I know that’s true for me. We live with his family too so it’s a lot of stress! You’re definitely not alone! I highly recommend the Book mindfulness for OCD because it has a section on ROCD! It’s on Amazon! Best wishes! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s crazy how much I can relate to all of this! We’re living separately at the moment which is also a trigger. Physical touch/kissing/hugging helps me feel more in love, and the distance has made me terrified I’m falling out of love bc I can’t get that affection anymore (we haven’t seen each other in over a month). My partner also gained quite a bit of weight due to depression so I can 100 percent relate to the attraction thing! It’s my biggest obsession. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️❤️❤️ also I highly recommend googling “Sheryl Paul” if you haven’t already: her articles honestly have kept me sane. She’s so gentle and reassuring :)
- Date posted
- 5y
We’re also incredibly different (my partner and I). My partner is religious whereas I’m not, and we come from different cultural backgrounds (they’re first generation Chinese) I’ve learned that those differences can help you understand a different way of viewing the world, even if they can cause tension and conflict due to different values. It can always work with mutual respect ❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowergirlglow Oh yes I’m sure that would be a huge trigger! I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to see each other this whole time, that would be so hard! I’m sorry you’re dealing with the attraction thing too, it’s so hard. Honestly I think it’s my biggest obsession about our relationship too! It’s like deep down I know I’m still attracted to him but then I look at him yummy and stat obsessing! It sucks! Of course, thanks so much for Sharing yours as well! ?Oh cool I’ll definitely look her up! Thank you! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowergirlglow Aw yes it’s definitely hard when you’re so different from each other but like you said- so true that those difference can help you ina lot of ways too! Exactly! Thanks for the great reminder! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes you’re not alone! Mine has been better with structure and working; then this started a month ago and my partner and I are out of work. That being said my rocd really flared up again, with really nothing to distract me. You’re not alone and it’s going to be okay!
- Date posted
- 5y
Same ?? you too ❤️❤️ hang in there!
- Date posted
- 5y
I do!! My ocd tells me I no longer love my fiance and that I'm just trying to convince myself that I want to stay with him
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel this! Stay strong ❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
yes!! i really recommend watching Awaken into Love on youtube!!! it helped me a lot
- Date posted
- 5y
Omg I love awaken into love sm
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! You are not alone, I identify so much with this. Knowing that are other people going through the same thing helps a lot. Thanks for talking about this!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! You’re definitely not alone ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeup ??♀️
- Date posted
- 4y
Is ocd a head space? 2 weeks ago it felt like i dropped out of my head and into my body. I am often disconnected from myself but then i was connected to me and also my fiance and it felt so good. But then i started becoming disconnected again and all in my head. I struggeled with rocd but overcame that and now its back again and i dont want this to be my truth!!! Its horrible. I am not that anxious anymore because i know that i dont have to act on those thoughts and feelings and that i have a choice. I wonder sometimes what the true me is. Sometimes i get a mood lift but still feel disconnected from myself and wonder if this is my truth because i dont feel anxious and my mood lifts a little Bit. Its like mood lift= no ocd and bad mood=ocd. Its like i cant think my own thoughts sometime
- Date posted
- 5y
Hiiiii, yes I also have rocd. I know mine is ocd because the thoughts torture me. Well I guess I don’t know for sure haha if I did it wouldn’t bug me. Even when I started explaining them to my therapist I started to cry..Covid 19 I’m sure is making everyone’s mental heath worse ? Are you taking any meds? How is the ERP going? I would like to see a NOCD specialist but I live in Canada and it’s just in the US right now.. your not alone anyways
- Date posted
- 5y
aww, I’m so sorry ? me too. I don’t have an ocd specialist in my area so I just do regular therapy but I do take meds! I used to take SSRIS for like six years but they made me feel weird so I switched to Lamictal (it’s usually for bipolar but it can be used for ocd) It doesn’t get rid of the thoughts but it does take the edge off the panic so they don’t usually lead to panic attacks anymore ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, I’m struggling with this too, but I’ve been struggling since my first boyfriend (and maybe before that, but idk) that wasn’t a really good relationship but I loved him so much that I started to feel those thoughts... I was so young back then that I really thought I was going crazy. Then years go by and I buried those feelings by avoiding every serious relationship. Until I met my actual boyfriend. I’ve been two years managing my fears , living happy and enjoying my relation. The past December my company shut down and I lost my job, a few weeks later... I was panicking thinking millions of possibilities of losing him. I’m on therapy but I’m working on my own aswel. I’m not an expert, far from that, but all I can say is that you decide what is true for you doing what you want, not because your mind decide it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 20w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 18w
I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.
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