- Username
- flowergirlglow
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes! 100%! I’m sorry you’re going through this! COVID-19 has made my symptoms way worse too! I’ve been in my relationship 6 years and for the first 4 years I was so happy and felt so in love but for the last 2 years I’ve truly been feeling out of love with him (even though I do still LOVE him a lot) and have a lot of concerns about our relationship since we’re so different. I also obsess a lot about the attractiveness thing since he’s gained 80 lbs since we started dating. I get so caught up in “am I still attracted to him enough?” I did a lot of research on ROCD to see if I had it but I never thought I did since I felt like all of my concerns were truly valid and not just my brain trying to sabbotage something that was otherwise “great.” I knew we didn’t have a picturesque relationship and therefore I thought it wasn’t ROCD. However last week I finally started ERP with an NOCD therapist and she said I DO have relationship OCD because of how much I obsess about our relationship- regardless of if my concerns are valid or not and that ROCD takes MANY forms. I’ve always obsessed a lot about friendships too, so the ROCD diagnosis actually makes sense. Do you live with your partner? If so I’m sure that’s a huge added challenge- to be stuck at home with them all the time and obsessing about the relationship’s “flaws” or your partner’s “flaws.” I know that’s true for me. We live with his family too so it’s a lot of stress! You’re definitely not alone! I highly recommend the Book mindfulness for OCD because it has a section on ROCD! It’s on Amazon! Best wishes! ?
It’s crazy how much I can relate to all of this! We’re living separately at the moment which is also a trigger. Physical touch/kissing/hugging helps me feel more in love, and the distance has made me terrified I’m falling out of love bc I can’t get that affection anymore (we haven’t seen each other in over a month). My partner also gained quite a bit of weight due to depression so I can 100 percent relate to the attraction thing! It’s my biggest obsession. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️❤️❤️ also I highly recommend googling “Sheryl Paul” if you haven’t already: her articles honestly have kept me sane. She’s so gentle and reassuring :)
We’re also incredibly different (my partner and I). My partner is religious whereas I’m not, and we come from different cultural backgrounds (they’re first generation Chinese) I’ve learned that those differences can help you understand a different way of viewing the world, even if they can cause tension and conflict due to different values. It can always work with mutual respect ❤️❤️❤️
@flowergirlglow Oh yes I’m sure that would be a huge trigger! I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to see each other this whole time, that would be so hard! I’m sorry you’re dealing with the attraction thing too, it’s so hard. Honestly I think it’s my biggest obsession about our relationship too! It’s like deep down I know I’m still attracted to him but then I look at him yummy and stat obsessing! It sucks! Of course, thanks so much for Sharing yours as well! ?Oh cool I’ll definitely look her up! Thank you! ❤️
@flowergirlglow Aw yes it’s definitely hard when you’re so different from each other but like you said- so true that those difference can help you ina lot of ways too! Exactly! Thanks for the great reminder! ❤️
Yes you’re not alone! Mine has been better with structure and working; then this started a month ago and my partner and I are out of work. That being said my rocd really flared up again, with really nothing to distract me. You’re not alone and it’s going to be okay!
Same ?? you too ❤️❤️ hang in there!
I do!! My ocd tells me I no longer love my fiance and that I'm just trying to convince myself that I want to stay with him
I feel this! Stay strong ❤️❤️
yes!! i really recommend watching Awaken into Love on youtube!!! it helped me a lot
Omg I love awaken into love sm
Yes! You are not alone, I identify so much with this. Knowing that are other people going through the same thing helps a lot. Thanks for talking about this!
Thank you! You’re definitely not alone ?
Yeup ??♀️
Is ocd a head space? 2 weeks ago it felt like i dropped out of my head and into my body. I am often disconnected from myself but then i was connected to me and also my fiance and it felt so good. But then i started becoming disconnected again and all in my head. I struggeled with rocd but overcame that and now its back again and i dont want this to be my truth!!! Its horrible. I am not that anxious anymore because i know that i dont have to act on those thoughts and feelings and that i have a choice. I wonder sometimes what the true me is. Sometimes i get a mood lift but still feel disconnected from myself and wonder if this is my truth because i dont feel anxious and my mood lifts a little Bit. Its like mood lift= no ocd and bad mood=ocd. Its like i cant think my own thoughts sometime
Hiiiii, yes I also have rocd. I know mine is ocd because the thoughts torture me. Well I guess I don’t know for sure haha if I did it wouldn’t bug me. Even when I started explaining them to my therapist I started to cry..Covid 19 I’m sure is making everyone’s mental heath worse ? Are you taking any meds? How is the ERP going? I would like to see a NOCD specialist but I live in Canada and it’s just in the US right now.. your not alone anyways
aww, I’m so sorry ? me too. I don’t have an ocd specialist in my area so I just do regular therapy but I do take meds! I used to take SSRIS for like six years but they made me feel weird so I switched to Lamictal (it’s usually for bipolar but it can be used for ocd) It doesn’t get rid of the thoughts but it does take the edge off the panic so they don’t usually lead to panic attacks anymore ❤️
Hey, I’m struggling with this too, but I’ve been struggling since my first boyfriend (and maybe before that, but idk) that wasn’t a really good relationship but I loved him so much that I started to feel those thoughts... I was so young back then that I really thought I was going crazy. Then years go by and I buried those feelings by avoiding every serious relationship. Until I met my actual boyfriend. I’ve been two years managing my fears , living happy and enjoying my relation. The past December my company shut down and I lost my job, a few weeks later... I was panicking thinking millions of possibilities of losing him. I’m on therapy but I’m working on my own aswel. I’m not an expert, far from that, but all I can say is that you decide what is true for you doing what you want, not because your mind decide it.
Hey guys, I’m new here but I’m already loving this supportive app. I have been with my boyfriend who is so sweet and amazing for 4 years now, but about 3 months in I started feeling like I was settling or that something was not right because I did not have the same sparks that I did with previous not so great boyfriends. I would talk with him about my thoughts and feelings and he would talk me down and say spot on things that addressed what I was thinking/feeling without even knowing he was doing so, and things would go back to normal for a while. Every few months I would freak out due to an “inner feeling” and feel disabled in my body and thoughts- heavy anxiety, depression, comparison, nit-picking, constantly googling relationship articles, talking to friends and so on. Every article, friend, and even my therapist at the time would say “maybe he’s just not the one for you and your body is letting you know, or maybe you’re looking for permission to break up with him.” So then I would become obsessive over that thought. Finally, a few months ago I came across the term “ROCD” and it pin pointed all of my thoughts and actions that I’ve been struggling with for 4 years. I didn’t believe it at first, thinking that the ROCD is a new thing for me, but after thinking on past events in my life I figured out that I’ve had always had different forms of OCD, and I actually have experienced ROCD before too. Anyway, all of that to say, today I am experiencing the thoughts again. “Is he attractive enough, or am I attracted to him?” “What if there is someone who could better suit me?” “Could I live with him forever (he’s so great)?” “Sometimes great people in a great relationship just aren’t meant to be. Is that my relationship?” “Am I really in love with him?” Etc... Two weeks ago I literally skipped all of my classes one day because I was googling articles. I’m ashamed of it. Am I alone in this or can someone else relate? Sorry for the super long post! Just wanted to give some background info! Thanks in advance for any help!!!
My relationship OCD has been severe lately and with seemingly no trigger to cause this flare up. I am constantly anxious, doubtful and panicked that I don't love my partner, overanalyzing whether or not I'm attracted to him, and ruminating on the numbness I feel when we are together. Every idea I can come up with to test and check to see if there's that love feeling, that attraction or interest/excitement in doing things together feels invalid, like it won't work. I get triggered further when my partner asks me if I'm okay, and that wave of panic comes back. I can't tell if this is OCD, or if it's my gut telling me it's not a relationship I should stay in. We've been together for five years, I'm not in OCD therapy, and I've been off meds for four months now.
When my soocd and rocd first hit hard, it really shattered my world and the kind of stability I had in life before the constant fear of losing the one I love. When I got my first job, I buried myself in the idea that I was too busy to deal with it anymore, it helped that I started school and got a pet hedgehog as well. But some nights it hits me that this hasn’t gone away at all, I don’t spend night after night or day after day stuck in the same thoughts anymore but I feel so cold inside like I’m not worth anything and like I don’t deserve the love and attraction I think I once felt for my sweet boyfriend. I feel like the fact that I can’t “feel” those feelings for him anymore that I’ve spent so long chasing means I don’t deserve him, I feel like even though the great anxiety has stopped I’m still trying to chase down that love feeling and how it “should” feel instead of just feeling it for what it is. I’m still terrified that if I let go of my walls that I’ll realize I don’t love him and lose him. It’s hurting me bad and making me resort to bad coping mechanisms. I’m starting to seek out validation again and craving that rush of infatuation when in reality the only one I want is my boyfriend. For almost a year and a half I obsessed about sexual attraction, it’s really affected my intimate life. I have self-esteem issues about my body, my “skills”, fear of not liking it enough and false expectations just all cause me to not feel much in my body and it makes me horribly sad. My boyfriend says I need to accept the possibility that the things I fear could be true and that I could be with someone else but it’s so hard because I really don’t want that but the longer I fight it the further away I feel from him. I didn’t think ocd could be this complex and cause such havoc on my life. I kind of miss when I felt extreme anxiety every day and had the same thoughts over and over because at least then it was easier to know it was my mind games at work. Now it just feels like I’m sabotaging myself daily by chasing the feelings of love I want. I don’t want to ruin this otherwise healthy relationship, my boyfriend is my best friend and I still want that. Can anyone relate to this? I feel like a lot of people just have the obsessiveness and I’m here trying to deal with the side effects of the after math and it makes me feel so alone
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