- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! 100%! I’m sorry you’re going through this! COVID-19 has made my symptoms way worse too! I’ve been in my relationship 6 years and for the first 4 years I was so happy and felt so in love but for the last 2 years I’ve truly been feeling out of love with him (even though I do still LOVE him a lot) and have a lot of concerns about our relationship since we’re so different. I also obsess a lot about the attractiveness thing since he’s gained 80 lbs since we started dating. I get so caught up in “am I still attracted to him enough?” I did a lot of research on ROCD to see if I had it but I never thought I did since I felt like all of my concerns were truly valid and not just my brain trying to sabbotage something that was otherwise “great.” I knew we didn’t have a picturesque relationship and therefore I thought it wasn’t ROCD. However last week I finally started ERP with an NOCD therapist and she said I DO have relationship OCD because of how much I obsess about our relationship- regardless of if my concerns are valid or not and that ROCD takes MANY forms. I’ve always obsessed a lot about friendships too, so the ROCD diagnosis actually makes sense. Do you live with your partner? If so I’m sure that’s a huge added challenge- to be stuck at home with them all the time and obsessing about the relationship’s “flaws” or your partner’s “flaws.” I know that’s true for me. We live with his family too so it’s a lot of stress! You’re definitely not alone! I highly recommend the Book mindfulness for OCD because it has a section on ROCD! It’s on Amazon! Best wishes! ?
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s crazy how much I can relate to all of this! We’re living separately at the moment which is also a trigger. Physical touch/kissing/hugging helps me feel more in love, and the distance has made me terrified I’m falling out of love bc I can’t get that affection anymore (we haven’t seen each other in over a month). My partner also gained quite a bit of weight due to depression so I can 100 percent relate to the attraction thing! It’s my biggest obsession. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️❤️❤️ also I highly recommend googling “Sheryl Paul” if you haven’t already: her articles honestly have kept me sane. She’s so gentle and reassuring :)
- Date posted
- 5y
We’re also incredibly different (my partner and I). My partner is religious whereas I’m not, and we come from different cultural backgrounds (they’re first generation Chinese) I’ve learned that those differences can help you understand a different way of viewing the world, even if they can cause tension and conflict due to different values. It can always work with mutual respect ❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowergirlglow Oh yes I’m sure that would be a huge trigger! I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to see each other this whole time, that would be so hard! I’m sorry you’re dealing with the attraction thing too, it’s so hard. Honestly I think it’s my biggest obsession about our relationship too! It’s like deep down I know I’m still attracted to him but then I look at him yummy and stat obsessing! It sucks! Of course, thanks so much for Sharing yours as well! ?Oh cool I’ll definitely look her up! Thank you! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
@flowergirlglow Aw yes it’s definitely hard when you’re so different from each other but like you said- so true that those difference can help you ina lot of ways too! Exactly! Thanks for the great reminder! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes you’re not alone! Mine has been better with structure and working; then this started a month ago and my partner and I are out of work. That being said my rocd really flared up again, with really nothing to distract me. You’re not alone and it’s going to be okay!
- Date posted
- 5y
Same ?? you too ❤️❤️ hang in there!
- Date posted
- 5y
I do!! My ocd tells me I no longer love my fiance and that I'm just trying to convince myself that I want to stay with him
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel this! Stay strong ❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
yes!! i really recommend watching Awaken into Love on youtube!!! it helped me a lot
- Date posted
- 5y
Omg I love awaken into love sm
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes! You are not alone, I identify so much with this. Knowing that are other people going through the same thing helps a lot. Thanks for talking about this!
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you! You’re definitely not alone ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeup ??♀️
- Date posted
- 5y
Is ocd a head space? 2 weeks ago it felt like i dropped out of my head and into my body. I am often disconnected from myself but then i was connected to me and also my fiance and it felt so good. But then i started becoming disconnected again and all in my head. I struggeled with rocd but overcame that and now its back again and i dont want this to be my truth!!! Its horrible. I am not that anxious anymore because i know that i dont have to act on those thoughts and feelings and that i have a choice. I wonder sometimes what the true me is. Sometimes i get a mood lift but still feel disconnected from myself and wonder if this is my truth because i dont feel anxious and my mood lifts a little Bit. Its like mood lift= no ocd and bad mood=ocd. Its like i cant think my own thoughts sometime
- Date posted
- 5y
Hiiiii, yes I also have rocd. I know mine is ocd because the thoughts torture me. Well I guess I don’t know for sure haha if I did it wouldn’t bug me. Even when I started explaining them to my therapist I started to cry..Covid 19 I’m sure is making everyone’s mental heath worse ? Are you taking any meds? How is the ERP going? I would like to see a NOCD specialist but I live in Canada and it’s just in the US right now.. your not alone anyways
- Date posted
- 5y
aww, I’m so sorry ? me too. I don’t have an ocd specialist in my area so I just do regular therapy but I do take meds! I used to take SSRIS for like six years but they made me feel weird so I switched to Lamictal (it’s usually for bipolar but it can be used for ocd) It doesn’t get rid of the thoughts but it does take the edge off the panic so they don’t usually lead to panic attacks anymore ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey, I’m struggling with this too, but I’ve been struggling since my first boyfriend (and maybe before that, but idk) that wasn’t a really good relationship but I loved him so much that I started to feel those thoughts... I was so young back then that I really thought I was going crazy. Then years go by and I buried those feelings by avoiding every serious relationship. Until I met my actual boyfriend. I’ve been two years managing my fears , living happy and enjoying my relation. The past December my company shut down and I lost my job, a few weeks later... I was panicking thinking millions of possibilities of losing him. I’m on therapy but I’m working on my own aswel. I’m not an expert, far from that, but all I can say is that you decide what is true for you doing what you want, not because your mind decide it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 19w
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
- Date posted
- 10w
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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