- Username
- flowergirlglow
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes! 100%! I’m sorry you’re going through this! COVID-19 has made my symptoms way worse too! I’ve been in my relationship 6 years and for the first 4 years I was so happy and felt so in love but for the last 2 years I’ve truly been feeling out of love with him (even though I do still LOVE him a lot) and have a lot of concerns about our relationship since we’re so different. I also obsess a lot about the attractiveness thing since he’s gained 80 lbs since we started dating. I get so caught up in “am I still attracted to him enough?” I did a lot of research on ROCD to see if I had it but I never thought I did since I felt like all of my concerns were truly valid and not just my brain trying to sabbotage something that was otherwise “great.” I knew we didn’t have a picturesque relationship and therefore I thought it wasn’t ROCD. However last week I finally started ERP with an NOCD therapist and she said I DO have relationship OCD because of how much I obsess about our relationship- regardless of if my concerns are valid or not and that ROCD takes MANY forms. I’ve always obsessed a lot about friendships too, so the ROCD diagnosis actually makes sense. Do you live with your partner? If so I’m sure that’s a huge added challenge- to be stuck at home with them all the time and obsessing about the relationship’s “flaws” or your partner’s “flaws.” I know that’s true for me. We live with his family too so it’s a lot of stress! You’re definitely not alone! I highly recommend the Book mindfulness for OCD because it has a section on ROCD! It’s on Amazon! Best wishes! ?
It’s crazy how much I can relate to all of this! We’re living separately at the moment which is also a trigger. Physical touch/kissing/hugging helps me feel more in love, and the distance has made me terrified I’m falling out of love bc I can’t get that affection anymore (we haven’t seen each other in over a month). My partner also gained quite a bit of weight due to depression so I can 100 percent relate to the attraction thing! It’s my biggest obsession. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️❤️❤️ also I highly recommend googling “Sheryl Paul” if you haven’t already: her articles honestly have kept me sane. She’s so gentle and reassuring :)
We’re also incredibly different (my partner and I). My partner is religious whereas I’m not, and we come from different cultural backgrounds (they’re first generation Chinese) I’ve learned that those differences can help you understand a different way of viewing the world, even if they can cause tension and conflict due to different values. It can always work with mutual respect ❤️❤️❤️
@flowergirlglow Oh yes I’m sure that would be a huge trigger! I’m so sorry you haven’t been able to see each other this whole time, that would be so hard! I’m sorry you’re dealing with the attraction thing too, it’s so hard. Honestly I think it’s my biggest obsession about our relationship too! It’s like deep down I know I’m still attracted to him but then I look at him yummy and stat obsessing! It sucks! Of course, thanks so much for Sharing yours as well! ?Oh cool I’ll definitely look her up! Thank you! ❤️
@flowergirlglow Aw yes it’s definitely hard when you’re so different from each other but like you said- so true that those difference can help you ina lot of ways too! Exactly! Thanks for the great reminder! ❤️
Yes you’re not alone! Mine has been better with structure and working; then this started a month ago and my partner and I are out of work. That being said my rocd really flared up again, with really nothing to distract me. You’re not alone and it’s going to be okay!
Same ?? you too ❤️❤️ hang in there!
I do!! My ocd tells me I no longer love my fiance and that I'm just trying to convince myself that I want to stay with him
I feel this! Stay strong ❤️❤️
yes!! i really recommend watching Awaken into Love on youtube!!! it helped me a lot
Omg I love awaken into love sm
Yes! You are not alone, I identify so much with this. Knowing that are other people going through the same thing helps a lot. Thanks for talking about this!
Thank you! You’re definitely not alone ?
Yeup ??♀️
Is ocd a head space? 2 weeks ago it felt like i dropped out of my head and into my body. I am often disconnected from myself but then i was connected to me and also my fiance and it felt so good. But then i started becoming disconnected again and all in my head. I struggeled with rocd but overcame that and now its back again and i dont want this to be my truth!!! Its horrible. I am not that anxious anymore because i know that i dont have to act on those thoughts and feelings and that i have a choice. I wonder sometimes what the true me is. Sometimes i get a mood lift but still feel disconnected from myself and wonder if this is my truth because i dont feel anxious and my mood lifts a little Bit. Its like mood lift= no ocd and bad mood=ocd. Its like i cant think my own thoughts sometime
Hiiiii, yes I also have rocd. I know mine is ocd because the thoughts torture me. Well I guess I don’t know for sure haha if I did it wouldn’t bug me. Even when I started explaining them to my therapist I started to cry..Covid 19 I’m sure is making everyone’s mental heath worse ? Are you taking any meds? How is the ERP going? I would like to see a NOCD specialist but I live in Canada and it’s just in the US right now.. your not alone anyways
aww, I’m so sorry ? me too. I don’t have an ocd specialist in my area so I just do regular therapy but I do take meds! I used to take SSRIS for like six years but they made me feel weird so I switched to Lamictal (it’s usually for bipolar but it can be used for ocd) It doesn’t get rid of the thoughts but it does take the edge off the panic so they don’t usually lead to panic attacks anymore ❤️
Hey, I’m struggling with this too, but I’ve been struggling since my first boyfriend (and maybe before that, but idk) that wasn’t a really good relationship but I loved him so much that I started to feel those thoughts... I was so young back then that I really thought I was going crazy. Then years go by and I buried those feelings by avoiding every serious relationship. Until I met my actual boyfriend. I’ve been two years managing my fears , living happy and enjoying my relation. The past December my company shut down and I lost my job, a few weeks later... I was panicking thinking millions of possibilities of losing him. I’m on therapy but I’m working on my own aswel. I’m not an expert, far from that, but all I can say is that you decide what is true for you doing what you want, not because your mind decide it.
Hi! Anyone dealing with SO OCD and have a partner? I am having the hardest time with this. The thoughts and feelings feel so real and scary but there’s moments where I have felt love and attraction for my boyfriend, but right now it feels so hard to believe that was true.
I have had bits of OCD and anxiety as long as I can remember but never in this way. I am in a 3+ year relationship with my now fiance. About 8-9 months ago I started heavily doubting our relationship.. doubting his love for and intentions with me and that we'd inevitably split up. That turned into me questioning my love for him. Questioning if my amount of sexual desire was "normal", if it's "normal" to find other men attractive if youre with the "right" one and that would go in and on. Then came the SO-OCD. These worries, fears, and doubts made me questioning EVER bit of my sexuality and that being the reason why I've felt a lack of contentment in my very healthy, stable, consistent relationship. I feel as though this is my body going full on protector mode!! I've had my share of trauma growing up and in adult relationships that have left me with tons of relational wounds and then pile on a lifetime of fantasizing about what it would be like to find "the one" (thanks Hollywood and social media lol). All of this to wonder if anyone can relate to all of this and how you've been working through layered traumas and OCD
This is my first post and first time using this app. My partner knows I have ocd but we have been having arguments because I keep asking him super inappropriate questions about whether he loves me, is attracted to _____, is thinking of other people, doesnt feel attracted to me, etc. I get these obsessive thoughts and feel like I have to ask him to get rid of it or get reassurance from him that it isn’t true. But then I’m never satisfied with his answers, and keep asking questions until it comes to a point where the conversation is completely destructive and neither of us are happy. I see a lot of people talking about doubting their relationships and feelings for their s/o’s, but does anybody else have this experience? Advice? Is this relationship ocd too? I am 90% sure it is but the 10% is telling me I’m just crazy, obsessive, possessive, and jealous. I know insecurity must play a big part in why I obsess over these things, but I cant help myself from thinking these thoughts and asking him these questions. We love each other and he is doing his best to support me, but this is putting a big strain on our relationship. Lmk if you relate. Thank you for reading
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