- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Yep, totally normal. I know straight girls that even identified as bi before realising that they were straight. Either way, even if you are gay or bi, there’s nothing wrong with that. I feel as if HOCD is a product of OCD and internalised homophobia. Once we learn how to let that go, it won’t scare you anymore.
- Date posted
- 6y
So I don’t know if I have internalised homophobia
- Date posted
- 6y
Sometimes we’re okay with other people living certain lifestyles or making certain life choices but for some reason we aren’t okay with doing it ourselves. Maybe you’re okay with gay people but not being gay yourself. I’m obviously not saying you are gay, it doesn’t sound like you are anyway. I just think it’s important to examine the root of these fears.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t want to give you reassurance since that only makes OCD worse but no. Lots of straight girls like lesbian porn. It’s literally tailored for women, unlike straight porn which is mostly made for men. I mean that I’d fantasise about having a girlfriend and I’d enjoy those thoughts the same way I enjoy thinking about dating guys.
- Date posted
- 6y
Weirdly I have always been okay with gay people and super supportive
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah you’re right but I feel like this is something you would know at a younger age even adolescence? Not when you’re in your 20’s which I am...I don’t think people discover their sexuality later on in life or have been ‘clueless’ about it
- Date posted
- 6y
Everyone experiences their sexuality differently but that’s pretty accurate for the most part. IMO, if you’ve fallen for one gender before, you can probably fall for it again in the future. People don’t wake up one morning and stop being attracted to the opposite gender. Usually the story is that they realise that they’re bi in their 20s, if anything. Even then, they can choose to ignore one side of their attraction if they want to. I’m bi and I generally ignore my attraction to girls unless it’s a girl a really really like or it’s pride.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah so true, and even with bisexuality...usually I think if you realise it later you’ve only been dating one gender and had a monogamous relationship and never entertained the thought of being attracted to same sex due to monogamy.. but even with bisexuality I think the consensus is you’re still aware at a younger age maybe even late adolescence when you meet more people etc. idk, when did you know??
- Date posted
- 6y
Dunno, I had my first crush on a girl when I was 13 but I didn’t actually really realise that I was bi until I was 15. For a while between I just acknowledged that I was a little bi, but continued to identify as straight. That was mostly just to calm down my anxiety. Honestly though, I really had a hard time believing that I was bisexual. It felt like I was lying to myself. It was only when I found out that it’s not actually normal to enjoy lesbian fantasies that I actually became super aware of just how bisexual I actually am, lmao.
- Date posted
- 6y
Hahahah lesbian fantasies?? I remember getting aroused to lesbian sex scenes on tv is that the same? ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah reassurance is a two way sword isn’t it :( thanks for all your insight it has helped heaps xx
- Date posted
- 5y
YESSS
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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- Date posted
- 14w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
- Date posted
- 10w
So I’m afraid that I have HOCD, but at the same time that I might also be homosexual. Is that possible? I have all the typical compulsions… checking for attraction, analyzing thoughts, analyzing the past, analyzing emotions, searching the internet. Is it really HOCD? When I see anything related to LGBT, I get strongly triggered. Sometimes I observe how my body reacts around people, but most often I check with ChatGPT to calm myself down, although it doesn’t last long—it depends. I also compare myself to other straight women who look like lesbians, or to lesbians who look like they’re straight. I had a phase where I was analyzing my body… whether I have too much hair, whether I have an Adam’s apple, whether I act like a lesbian without realizing it. I also have the typical intrusive thoughts like “did something from the past actually mean something, or is it a sign?” “am I just lying to myself?” “what if I’m in denial?” “what if I’ve ignored signs my whole life and lied to myself?” “what if I’ll never be able to fall in love with a guy?” “what if there are too many signs and proofs and it’s true?” “what if it’s not HOCD at all?” And much more. But now I’m scared that it’s both—that I have HOCD and that I’m homosexual. I’ve cried multiple times because of this and it’s been going on for 7 months. Some days are better, some are worse. And there’s so much ‘evidence’ that I won’t even list now—over these seven months I’ve found so many things from my past and dreams that I feel like there has to be something to it. I’ve also had around four panic attacks because of this. And I truly believe I have HOCD and that I’m also homosexual, which is killing me and it feels horrible. I just want to be sure that im straight and be at peace. When im doubting and thinking that im a lesbian i feel like im not at peace and i hate it. But u feel like i just need to accept it but i don’t want to and i just want to have a boyfriend, kids but im scared that it’s not possible for me because im lesbian and i actually just think that i want a boyfriend but in reality i don’t. Ughhhh help me.
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