- Username
- Cat_attack
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Me three! It’s really disgusting.
Yea I’ll just watch once upon a time for the next few hours eating cheese puffs
I love cheese puffs. I eat them with chopsticks...like a good Asian girl my parents brought me up as. Lol
Same. My room will go from two extremes: 1. “Stereotypical” ocd clean where I get particular about things and will have a panic attack if specific chemicals aren’t used and if someone even touches one of my things. Very much when my contamination fears are triggered. And 2. “Disgusting tornado” mess lol where I can’t stand the mess but I literally can’t bring myself to clean it mentally. Also I have two cats that add to some mess. Usually this is when I’m slacking off on every single responsibility I have because “I just can’t deal today”.
I also have a baby cat. He’s a little over a year. I feel like the worst mom to him. I wanted a cat my whole life. But this was the worst time to get one (I was given him as a birthday gift) I don’t regret getting him! Not in a million years and I know if I didn’t get him then it wouldn’t be the same cat and I love him so much. It’s just that I was given him shortly (only 2 weeks) after starting a relationship (one I’m currently still in) and my ocd was really bad. Those two things already take up so much time and energy. And my depression makes me not want to do anything. I feel like if I was given him years ago I would have been such a better mom.
I found that when I’m having an anxiety attack or depression is creeping in, my cats are really helpful because they purr and it’s comforting. Also just taking care of a living being gives me a sense of purpose. I feel like I could do better but they are still being fed and taken care of.
Ahhahahaa
for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling
This isn’t even about ocd but I need to vent. You don’t have to read or respond if you dont want to. I’m such a failure and I don’t even know why I’m alive. All I do is sit in my bed and go on my phone 24/7 a day. I never do homework and I’m doing so bad in school because it’s so hard. And I’m literally the weakest person ever and I give up at everything. I try to work on a project for one second and give up. I have no hobbies or any goals for the future. I’m just so lazy and a burden to everyone in my family. I’m ignoring my friends. I just feel like such a negative lazy person and quitter. I don’t know how I’m gonna get anywhere in life.
I have ocd but my house is always messy I can’t seem to clean it and when I try it’s like I can’t do it right and I can’t get things organized the way they need to be and I obsess over it constantly thinking it can be better so I give up and then I stress and get depressed over it but I don’t know what to do
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