- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I think an OCD specialist is the way to go. He does speak a lot of stuff that’s making it harder to recover because you already feel broken inside. It’s so nice to see I’m not alone in this.
- Date posted
- 5y
Lol, I remember one of my counselors I went to talking about my inner child and saying POCD was my past self crying out because did my parents arguing haha. Definitely get yourself to that OCD specialist ASAP! Unfortunately other therapists don’t know what they’re doing with OCD, they mean well but they’re trained in the wrong area for what’s effective for ya. Please don’t give up hope! I just started ERP for POCD and I’m feeling better already. A few weeks ago I couldn’t go 5 minutes without ruminating and really believed my thoughts were evidence of some deep dark identity. I’m still in the early stages, but shrugging off the obsessions is becoming easier even as they flip flop around and change into different specifics on the same topic! I’m thinking of you so much going through this, OCD specialists will do you a world of good, and there SO much hope! ❤️
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry for the typos ?
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you so much its hard sometimes to find hope when you’re going through this. Mine says it’s because I’m trying to feel good because when I was a child I experimented like all kids do and he says because during this time I was in pain so I went to that to feel good. So now when I’m depressed I go to the thoughts of children to feel good. Wow typing this is making me feel like a monster and I know this isn’t the truth.
- Date posted
- 5y
Please see an OCD specialist.
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you I’m definitely done with blaming myself or my inner child for this!
- Date posted
- 5y
Yes it’s knowing that I have to live with uncertainty that’s scaring me but I guess that’s part of the treatment is learning to live with it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Glad you are seeing an OCD specialist. Your current therapist sounds like a Freudian psychoanalyst.
- Date posted
- 5y
Good for you! This is treatable with ERP.
- Date posted
- 5y
It really is like looking at a new way of thinking about the POCD its stopping blaming yourself as an individual person and seeing this as OCD and treating it that way because for so long I was also told by my psychiatrist that I had a chemical imbalance and needed medication for the rest of my life and trust me the medication worked wonders for a bit now my POCD is back full force and I’m still on the medication but my thinking is the same, blaming,checking,self hatered.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep, medication is a nice compliment to ERP but not a replacement. Without treatment, it's a band-aid that will eventually fall off and expose your wound if not healed. You may or may not need medication for the rest of your life. That's a bit of uncertainty that you will learn to accept and not paralyze you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
- Date posted
- 22w
it feels like therapy isn't working at all, like I've been super reluctant to participate or try and get better. I was doing really well at first but I've been in a slump with it lately, and the idea of doing exposures again makes me really scared. Like, I know if have to do them to get better but I'm so afraid that I'll pick something, watch it, and think the child character is attractive and start fantasizing about them. Like what if the only thing keeping me from doing that is because I've been avoiding them? Also is it normal for pocd to convince you that you prefer one gender more strongly than the other? Bc for some reason it feels more real with boys than it does girls (I'm mostly straight) and like.. idk I'm just not feeling good.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
I'm currently at one of the lowest points with my OCD despite me working so hard on it and everything that I know it stems from because a lot of my OCD comes from trauma from sexual abuse as a kid and as I got older and a lot of other stuff which is also why I have Complex PTSD. I was doing so well, I started medication, and I was in this dual housing program for treatment and everything was going okay. That was until I ended up getting SA’D by a man there and none of the staff cared or did anything despite me doing everything possible and gathering all of this evidence and all the people there either didn't care or bullied me relentlessly as they laughed with my abuser. It was so painful and I felt so alone. I think what triggered my spiral was that it was very similar to the reactions of my past assaults and thus my OCD came spiralling alongside my C-PTSD symptoms and I feel like it is worse then before. I left that place but its still absolutely terrible and I feel so hopeless and hurt. Not only did this man hurt me like I have been in the past he brought back the very thing that caused me so many years of suffering. It makes me sick. I don't want to think these thoughts or feel these horrible urges and sensations. I feel so disgusting and broken.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond