How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.

CDS

Date posted: 5y

I know I’m late here but I am in almost exactly the same position. I’ve almost broken up with my first girlfriend in 6 years several times and I’m so glad I didn’t. I know I’ll still have days where I feel disconnected and want to brake up, shoot maybe I will one day, but there are really good days too. I am so new to this OCD world but from others I’ve seen/heard from and from my very limited experience so far, I suggest sticking it out and seeing this relationship, however long it lasts, as taking a stand against avoidance.

SamL

Date posted: 5y

Hey there. Firstly thanks for sharing this. You are in good company:) I too suffer from HOCD and ROCD and felt a big charge when i read your post as i often tend to think I am okay when in reality ROCD is still a big part of my life. It is great to be aware of what you have and what you are going through because before that it's hell and I know that. Take things one step at a time. My advice would be to only share what you feel comfortable with this person and they don't have to understand it all at once. Just make sure you are comfortable with what and how much you share. You never know, it may allow the other person to feel comfortable sharing about themselves. As for differentiating between ROCD and legitimate relationships worries. Have you tried talking to yourself as if a good friend had come to you with these worries. How would you rationally give advice to your friend? Would you tell your friend that you agree that an extra freckle is a valid reason to break up with someone or would you advise them to reconsider?

Anonymous

Date posted: 5y

Omg I’m in the same position as well!! I’ve just started to a guy in quarantine and I really like him. I think my HOCD might be turing into ROCD. I keep having doubts bc I can’t see him right now. It’s really hard but I do feel like I will marry him. I hate having doubts

OCDwon’tconq...

Date posted: 5y

Currently experiencing this. My thoughts kindof happen more when I’m about my partner and less as much when I’m alone. Is this the same for you guys?

OCDwon’tconq...

Date posted: 5y

I meant to say (around my partner) sorry

Sake

Date posted: 5y

@OCDwon’tconquerme Mine was all the time while dating. Which has led me to avoid dating

zofiaaa❤️

Date posted: 2y

Hi, can we talk?

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