- Username
- Sake
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I know I’m late here but I am in almost exactly the same position. I’ve almost broken up with my first girlfriend in 6 years several times and I’m so glad I didn’t. I know I’ll still have days where I feel disconnected and want to brake up, shoot maybe I will one day, but there are really good days too. I am so new to this OCD world but from others I’ve seen/heard from and from my very limited experience so far, I suggest sticking it out and seeing this relationship, however long it lasts, as taking a stand against avoidance.
Hey there. Firstly thanks for sharing this. You are in good company:) I too suffer from HOCD and ROCD and felt a big charge when i read your post as i often tend to think I am okay when in reality ROCD is still a big part of my life. It is great to be aware of what you have and what you are going through because before that it's hell and I know that. Take things one step at a time. My advice would be to only share what you feel comfortable with this person and they don't have to understand it all at once. Just make sure you are comfortable with what and how much you share. You never know, it may allow the other person to feel comfortable sharing about themselves. As for differentiating between ROCD and legitimate relationships worries. Have you tried talking to yourself as if a good friend had come to you with these worries. How would you rationally give advice to your friend? Would you tell your friend that you agree that an extra freckle is a valid reason to break up with someone or would you advise them to reconsider?
Omg I’m in the same position as well!! I’ve just started to a guy in quarantine and I really like him. I think my HOCD might be turing into ROCD. I keep having doubts bc I can’t see him right now. It’s really hard but I do feel like I will marry him. I hate having doubts
Currently experiencing this. My thoughts kindof happen more when I’m about my partner and less as much when I’m alone. Is this the same for you guys?
I meant to say (around my partner) sorry
@OCDwon’tconquerme Mine was all the time while dating. Which has led me to avoid dating
Hi, can we talk?
This is so long ah I’m so sorry. I’m really just trying to get all my thoughts out/ see if anyone feels similarly/ and what they’ve found helps. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I’ve looked into it a lot and feel that I might have ROCD. (I was once diagnosed with anxiety, but didn’t keep up with therapy because my parents weren’t keen on it.) Now I really want to invest in it to get a formal diagnoses/help, and I’m going to start looking into that. I’m scared that this isn’t ROCD, and I’m truly just in the wrong relationship, or not actually in love with my partner. But then sometimes I’m certain it is? We’ve been together for a year and a couple of months, and it has been wonderful. She makes me feel so loved and so understood. She is my best friend. But this summer when we were on break from school I started getting major doubts once I’d found out about ROCD and some of my thoughts lined up with it’s description. I’d already started to have doubts before the summer. She is the first person I‘ve slept with, and it took a while for me to have an orgasm, and that made me freak out and start to question my attraction towards her/our compatibility. Every time we’d have sex I’d worry over this. (Though I also think it has to do with me not knowing what I wanted/what I liked in bed) Our sex life got better but I still had obsessive thoughts. I have them daily - “what if I don’t love her” or “what if this isn’t the right relationship” or “should I be dating someone else” When I’m with her I’m constantly checking. If we kiss, I’ll analyze how it feels (or how it doesn’t) and the same thing goes for when she compliments me or says she loves me. I’ll say I love her but something in my brain will say “but do you really?” Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where when I think of her or am with her it makes me so anxious. I literally feel it in my stomach and chest. It’s so hard to deal with. I can’t make it stop. I think part of it is that I’m anxious that I’ll feel anxious/start to have obsessive thoughts, so I get anxious? I just want to be able to think of her and be around her and not feel so scared and anxious and always checking. I feel like my anxiety isn’t letting me truly experience my relationship.
I believe I (currently) am experiencing ROCD. Growing up as a child, I was always double checking the door was locked, wouldn’t walk on cracks, had to count to step. I eventually grew out of it. But I feel it has grown into ROCD. I currently have a year long relationship with a person I love and has treated me very well. I have plans to move in with him and I went job seeking at his house (we are long distance) last weekend. I had anxiety the entire time. I kept telling myself, I’m scared, what if this doesn’t work, what if this is telling me to break free of the relationship, what if I’m not attracted to him, and I was avoidant because I was so scared to feel the anxiety around/with him and question it all again. Once the anxiety would settle I would cry to him about it and tell him I’m just scared and everything is caving in. But is this normal in ROCD? I found myself googling everything the weeks leading up to me going. I once told him to give me space (he is very affectionate and I am not) and very selfless when it comes to calls/texts. PLUS - long distance adds to that. With everything, I started googling it all nonstop for days and feared we aren’t meant for each other. Now when he calls I feel anxious because I don’t want to feel that “trapped” feeling of not having space again and I googled how to find common and reasonable communication with long distance. UGH just everything is scaring me and I fear my obsessiveness over it is making it worse.
I have been with my boyfriend in college for 4 months now. This is my first relationship and being in a relationship made me discover i have OCD, I never knew I had it before. How do I stop the ROCD from feeling so *real*? Does anyone else struggle with this? Suddenly my mind starts saying no this isn’t ROCD you’re just in denial and you need to break up with your boyfriend because you can’t “waste time” with him because it is probably going to end anyways. A huge trigger for me is also the fact that this IS my first love and I know those rarely last. I keep thinking this is just going to end in pain and heartbreak so I should end it now or what if I get stuck in this relationship and fast forward 10 years I wish I had dated someone else and not wasted my time and it ends in divorce or something. I feel so at war with myself and my OCD is so good at convincing me it’s real. Even right now I just had an attack and I swear maybe I do need to break up with him because of how bad my ROCD is itself. Anyone else feel that? like meta ROCD where “I need to break up with him because the ROCD is going to ruin things anyway”. Please help, how do I tell what I really want
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