- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
My mother probably has OCD and I know how you feel. Her ego is gigantic and she feels like when we tell her to go to therapist to talk about her obsessive thoughts she says us out loud everyday she feels offended like she hears " you're mental " instead . To be honest I dont think she will ever go to doctor and I think you should take care of yourself first. Depression is hard and anxiety sucks. Once you get gigantic anxiety and depression you'll develop certain behaviours and thinking patterns that are difficult to stop so it will take much more time to cure your anxiety and depression than actually developing it by wanting to help your husband . I don't know how old are you and if you have children but it's a waste of time if you have to lost yourself for someone who doesnt want help
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I’m wasting my time... I’m 32 and I have a 2year old... I was almost out of it... but he’s manipulative... he makes me believe things will change etc... but I’m starting to realise I’m ruining my life here... more over I’m too scared because the level of his involvement in my life and the obsession is something I’m afraid to even dig deep into
- Date posted
- 5y
Also, recommend the book "When a Family Member has OCD" by Jon Hershfield.
- Date posted
- 5y
Gonna try that
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks
- Date posted
- 5y
At first it was just obsession about where what goes... everything has to be in a place or rather out of sight... and mostly that means most of my stuff goes missing and he always interferes with my belongings... even takes things out of my handbag and keeps them in places he thinks is right and then there are times I’ve gone to the supermarket and realised my purse is not in my handbag... silly things initially but they used to bug me... but I started to see more obsessive traits about me.... I strongly believe he was spying on me with his gadgets... he used to track my phone n never tell me about it until one day I did find out... and just last week I found out he hacked into my mother’s house cctv ( cuz I go there often) and he never told me about it until I caught him snooping into his phone to see a familiar view... he immediately hid it... but then the lies etc etc... and then he try’s to get away with it saying he’s only doing it cuz he cares... I’m sorry... but I only see creepy... and I’m so uncomfortable...
- Date posted
- 5y
In my opinion it doesnt sound very much like OCD but I'm not a doctor
- Date posted
- 5y
Well, the arranging of items could be OCD related or OCPD. The distinction is that if it is OCD, he does it to get a "just right" feeling to reduce the anxiety of things "being out of place." On the other hand, if he strongly believes that there is a right or wrong way to arrange things without having an urge to reduce any underlying anxiety, then it's probably OCPD. OCPD is very difficult to successfully treat because it's a personality disorder. With respect to the spying, that is definitely not a hallmark of a healthy marital relationship. I recommend addressing your own anxiety and depression issues so that you can make good decisions about the future of your marital relationship.
- Date posted
- 5y
@Fear Strikes Out Yes... OCPD is what he has... you’re right...
- Date posted
- 5y
@Fear Strikes Out He says he wasn’t spying and that he just installed it on his phone and he meant to tell me and all that bullshit... but I’m worried... is that obsession ??? I know it’s completely unhealthy and it’s crazy... but I feel guilty to leave him... I want to help him out of it... I really do.. but at what cost ?
- Date posted
- 5y
@OCD spouse That is not good. Insight is generally extremely poor for those with OCPD. Is he very rigid in his thinking generally?
- Date posted
- 5y
@OCD spouse Would the two of you be open to couples therapy where these issues can be discussed between yourselves with a therapist facilitating? Also, if you search online for the Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsion Scale (YBOCS), maybe he will take a brief 10 question assessment for OCD. Alternatively, maybe he can be diagnosed by a psychologist? Would your threat to leave with the baby motivate him to seek professional counseling?
- Date posted
- 5y
@Fear Strikes Out Yes I’ve threatened... and he says hel do it... but when it comes to the real deal he backs off... also.. he’s a surgeon ..... most of the psychologists are his colleagues or friend and he has a high profile in society... that stops him from going to a therapist I guess... n he thinks a psychiatrist is better than a psychologist... again... ego bullshit... and finally hel chose someone who he thinks is ok for him to go to... but I know there will be a biased opinion... and he has met my therapist once... n he said that my husband sounds like a very normal person and he’s so composed and seems so caring etc...but there are lots of layers to uncover n he needed a lot more sessions... of course he believed he was hiding it all.. because I had been in sessions with him earlier... but then my husband never followed it up I’m so tired... I’m afraid I’m losing focus over my son in the midst of all this drama
- Date posted
- 5y
@OCD spouse When you said he's a physician, that screams OCPD to me. That doesn't make it trie, but it is true for many medical doctors. Also, going to therapy with someone you know (even if only an acquaintance) is generally frowned upon in counseling circles, at least in the States. Also, in the States, psychiatrists rarely do counseling. Their focus is medication management. It's the psychologists, counselors, and social workers who provide therapy.
- Date posted
- 5y
@OCD spouse What country are you from?
- Date posted
- 5y
Hm... maybe not.. but he does have those traits... plus a lot of other traits... I’ve tried therapy for him... to talk and see what and how I can help.. my therapist says he’s way too complex to figure out through me and he needs to have a few sessions with him but it never happened
- Date posted
- 5y
What types of behaviors does he exhibit?
- Date posted
- 5y
Feel welcome here, but know there may be other groups to seek out for more help too. Some of it sounds OCD, OCPD, narcissistic, manipulative, who knows without legitimate degrees and consultations with him. But it sounds like it’s possibly abusive. I don’t want to tell you if it is or isn’t. Just remember, the victim of abuse is the one who has the right to decide if it is. You can’t help him the best if you’re hurting too much because of him. If there’s any hotlines you want numbers for and you don’t feel comfortable looking them up, ask us, including support groups for OCD sufferers’ family members. Unfortunately with so many things, he has to want to change in order to do so. Seriously wishing the best for you all.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
- Date posted
- 12w
Hello i got this app hoping to maybe find some support for my partner i thought about reddit but reddit has become a hateful place and i figured this is a safe place. i love my partner more than anything and he’s been struggling with OCD his whole life he has a hard time talking about it with anyone because it’s too painful he’s stated that it’s gotten worse as he’s gotten older His biggest issue right now is overwhelming thoughts of his actions having tragic outcomes and being unable to stop these obsessive thoughts (such as needing to check out door handle 5 times to make sure it’s locked but still panicking that it’s unlocked) he’s not open to one on one therapy or meds although he loves learning and watching informative videos i fear he’s afraid to confront his OCD or just afraid nothing will help i really wanna help him live a stress free and happy life he deserves it would anyone possibly have any ways to naturally help with OCD or recommend any great individuals that could share techniques on managing OCD or helping your partner with OCD? i would very much appreciate it!
- Date posted
- 10w
Hi, I’m new to the app as of today. I’m 20 years old, and wanted to get some stuff off my chest about the types of OCD I’ve been experiencing over the years. I’m not entirely sure how or when my OCD was brought up, but I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Anywhere and everywhere I go, if I see things placed in an order/angle that my brain doesn’t approve of, next thing I know I’m “fixing” it to be in the placement I feel looks better. I’m not aware of why I feel the need to do that, but until an object is in the “right” placement, I won’t take my eyes off of it. My eye will even twitch. Another form of OCD I have is in relationships. I spend each day overthinking and over-analyzing every one of the relationships that are important to me. Friends, family, significant other. Another one is what’s considered “Pure OCD” . When I get an intrusive thought of something devilish, whether it’s randomly seeing my great aunt naked bc my grandma considers her “fat” even though she’s not, or it’s seeing something demonic and traumatizing, I immediately tell myself, “I don’t wanna see/think about that” over and over and over until the thought is gone. Or I’ll try to replace one mental image with another. One other form of OCD I face every day, is religion. I got baptized for the first time in my life earlier this year in January. I had finally started to repent for my sins, and now I’m constantly feeling afraid that I’m letting God down due to my depression/lack of motivation and vaping/smoking. I also fear excessively that He’ll banish me from His kingdom, or just turn a cold shoulder. I know that what I’ve just typed up is probably all over the place. That is my brain unfortunately. How do you go from being a mentally disorderly and seemingly erratic young woman, to a more well-established, successful woman? I’m all ears!
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