- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@ashley 85. I so much relate. Let’s keep this group conversation going guys ... I will write a post later when I got more time and thought on this topic because this conversation is worth having with people that experience this type of thing
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Do any men with OCD have erectial dysfunction? I hear there's a parallel
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am. I never thought or knew about ROCD I’ve had and have pure O but I also believe I have ROCD. When I look back at my relationship and my Marquand the toxic 10 years ,although it takes two to tangle I do believe that my ROCD is a contributing factor to how bad my emotions can get , and has also created my OCD in other areas to be worst off.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'm married to OCD. It sucks
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes. And it’s draining the life out of my relationship. I’ve been married for 11 years and my obsessions are that he is going to do something bad. So I’m constantly on edge and questioning him. And if anything “strange” pops up I choose to obsess over it until I find an answer. It tears him apart
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It so sucks!! I’ve been married for 5 and together for 15 and I’m obsessed with “is he the one?” Am I. “In love?” We have a baby and it’s just soooo painful!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@curtis yes please. It’s constant for me. I cannot relax in my relationship. Sure he’s done things (like everyone has) but there has been nothing in our 11 years of marriage to deserve this. Is terrible.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I feel like an oddball because I obsess over wether or not I love him. And the guilt is insane. And now I’m comparing my anxiety levels to everyone else’s thinking “my anxiety level isn’t as strong “(because it’s more depression...and that makes me think “it’s not OCD”.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
So your definitely not alone on this one xtina. I too have questioned my love. My future and have actually on a few occasions tried to or really considered splitting up the family. I have 2 boys 3-5 and I’ll tell you the shame and guilt I feel when I think about moving on is what keeps me focused on trying to hold it all together. I love my wife she loves me and we really have it all. But we have been through a tough 10 years from counselling to seminars in Seattle. Personal self help in both sides yiu name it we’ve done it yet we both have so many negative triggers that will make me at the drop of a pin think or feel that I have made a mistake and that there is no way in hell we’ll ever last long term. I’ve been so up and down emotionally with this relationship and also sometimes I feel and think that the relationship that I have is somewhat responsible for how mad I have gotten with my OCD !! I’m not blaming her because I have to own my shit but sometimes I feel like a lot of my stress comes from reactions and overall challenges that a marriage can have. However you put OCD into the mix and you can turn a marriage that is probably dis functional for sure but we work on it all the time and get bettering better , but in my head sometimes no matter how much we try I can do easily go from we’re fine I love this woman , to I hate her I want a divorce! I am getting better at reacting differently and I am also for the first time in 10 years associating OCD as part of the overall problem. I thought for ever that it was her and to a mass degree she has brought her own shit into this life , but I gotta learn to trust myself. Know my integrity and believe in what I vowed on our wedding day and work hard every day of my life on my recovery tactics which I believe will help me be less reactive, and also better myself to be more compassionate and empathetic to her and her needs. Like I said we got a big history but in the olden days when things were broken people fixed it. In today’s world when items are broken we live in a society that is very quick to throw things out and go buy new. I’d prefer to tell the story of fixing what is broken and not have the shame of throwing away something that could have been repaired, and not being there for my kids. Curtis
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@curtis @xtina how are you doing? Just checking in. These posts can get lost and I definitely want to make sure we check in on each other
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I wanted to say that I have also had a very tough 11 years of marriage. I am terrible about my mind trying to find proof that my husband is a bad person. I search through his stuff. And anything I see as strange is proof. We have actually separated once (prior to children) because of my accusations. I have run all of the evidence I’ve found by a trained counselor and my mom and no one seems to think it’s evidence of any kind. But to my brain it means something. And I hold onto it and obsess about it. It’s very lonely for my husband, who as far as I know has done nothing wrong. But I always have the what ifs.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Currently I have several different OCD fears that pop up throughout the week depending on the situation. I've noticed a commonality between all of them are the fears relating to memory/false memory. Today is the ROCD struggle I've been dealing with. I know OCD has been trying this on me lately because of how much I love my spouse. They are my absolute best friend and she's my world. I value our marriage and friendship more than anything. OCD has latched onto one specific female coworker. And I don't even know why because even if I were single I wouldn't be into her. Even still, OCD makes me think I've cheated on my wife every time I'm alone with this coworker at work. Always starts as a what if, followed by imagery, followed by feelings that I must've actually done something and can't remember it. Usually fearing I've kissed her. It hurts because I know I'd never do that to my wife and I love her so much...the idea of losing her kills me, especially if it were the result of something I did. Just wanted to vent. Feel free to share your experiences or vents as well
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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