Anybody married with ROCD?

@ashley 85. I so much relate. Let’s keep this group conversation going guys ... I will write a post later when I got more time and thought on this topic because this conversation is worth having with people that experience this type of thing

Do any men with OCD have erectial dysfunction? I hear there's a parallel

I am. I never thought or knew about ROCD I’ve had and have pure O but I also believe I have ROCD. When I look back at my relationship and my Marquand the toxic 10 years ,although it takes two to tangle I do believe that my ROCD is a contributing factor to how bad my emotions can get , and has also created my OCD in other areas to be worst off.

I'm married to OCD. It sucks

Yes. And it’s draining the life out of my relationship. I’ve been married for 11 years and my obsessions are that he is going to do something bad. So I’m constantly on edge and questioning him. And if anything “strange” pops up I choose to obsess over it until I find an answer. It tears him apart

It so sucks!! I’ve been married for 5 and together for 15 and I’m obsessed with “is he the one?” Am I. “In love?” We have a baby and it’s just soooo painful!

@curtis yes please. It’s constant for me. I cannot relax in my relationship. Sure he’s done things (like everyone has) but there has been nothing in our 11 years of marriage to deserve this. Is terrible.

I feel like an oddball because I obsess over wether or not I love him. And the guilt is insane. And now I’m comparing my anxiety levels to everyone else’s thinking “my anxiety level isn’t as strong “(because it’s more depression...and that makes me think “it’s not OCD”.

So your definitely not alone on this one xtina. I too have questioned my love. My future and have actually on a few occasions tried to or really considered splitting up the family. I have 2 boys 3-5 and I’ll tell you the shame and guilt I feel when I think about moving on is what keeps me focused on trying to hold it all together. I love my wife she loves me and we really have it all. But we have been through a tough 10 years from counselling to seminars in Seattle. Personal self help in both sides yiu name it we’ve done it yet we both have so many negative triggers that will make me at the drop of a pin think or feel that I have made a mistake and that there is no way in hell we’ll ever last long term. I’ve been so up and down emotionally with this relationship and also sometimes I feel and think that the relationship that I have is somewhat responsible for how mad I have gotten with my OCD !! I’m not blaming her because I have to own my shit but sometimes I feel like a lot of my stress comes from reactions and overall challenges that a marriage can have. However you put OCD into the mix and you can turn a marriage that is probably dis functional for sure but we work on it all the time and get bettering better , but in my head sometimes no matter how much we try I can do easily go from we’re fine I love this woman , to I hate her I want a divorce! I am getting better at reacting differently and I am also for the first time in 10 years associating OCD as part of the overall problem. I thought for ever that it was her and to a mass degree she has brought her own shit into this life , but I gotta learn to trust myself. Know my integrity and believe in what I vowed on our wedding day and work hard every day of my life on my recovery tactics which I believe will help me be less reactive, and also better myself to be more compassionate and empathetic to her and her needs. Like I said we got a big history but in the olden days when things were broken people fixed it. In today’s world when items are broken we live in a society that is very quick to throw things out and go buy new. I’d prefer to tell the story of fixing what is broken and not have the shame of throwing away something that could have been repaired, and not being there for my kids. Curtis

@curtis @xtina how are you doing? Just checking in. These posts can get lost and I definitely want to make sure we check in on each other

I wanted to say that I have also had a very tough 11 years of marriage. I am terrible about my mind trying to find proof that my husband is a bad person. I search through his stuff. And anything I see as strange is proof. We have actually separated once (prior to children) because of my accusations. I have run all of the evidence I’ve found by a trained counselor and my mom and no one seems to think it’s evidence of any kind. But to my brain it means something. And I hold onto it and obsess about it. It’s very lonely for my husband, who as far as I know has done nothing wrong. But I always have the what ifs.