Anyone else been stuck, unemployed, at home for a long period of time? How does it make you feel? I'm currently studying from home and my last job was 2 years ago. I left school 4ish years ago. I just feel like shit. I have a small service based business I've been trying to get going, but its difficult and covid ruined most of my bookings this year. It's horrible feeling useless when it feels the whole world is moving, and everyone is graduating, getting married or idk reaching some other milestone and I'm just lost in an abyss of dark confusion.

For years I’ve been struggling with trying to put together a routine for myself. I always end up filling my time with things that pertain to others. I see my friends all day, I like to see my boyfriend a lot (even though it’s only a weekend to weekend thing), and I’ll scroll social media. When I go on social media I tend to look at people who is no longer in my life. With this, I’ve come to a realization recently that I’ve put others over my own needs. I barely take my meds regularly because I feel like I’m constantly busy at peoples events, hanging out, or work. I don’t want kids but I’ve grown up in a family the idolizes the nuclear lifestyle despite not having it, and my boyfriend wants kids, so I feel like I’ve put myself in a position to lose my idea of what I want. Sometimes I don’t even know if I want to be with a man. I feel sometimes that people will leave me if I just do what will work for me. I could put down my drink and I think of how it will affect others, not myself. I’ve always wanted to travel and get out but I know my boyfriend wants to stay with his family so I put it on the back burner. I’ve started to get anxious about me losing out on my life and what I want to do. It makes me think I’ve always lost out on so many opportunities. I want to try to start small. Making sure I have a good routine for myself that I won’t break and then try to apply that discipline to the rest of my life. I’m just not sure how.

It's been a year since I've been able to stay home alone. I don't know how to fight this. I feel like the world will collapse on me. That the house will cave in. Or I'll just lose my mind and scream and run outside screaming and saying the world is falling type thing. I don't know how to help myself. I'm to scared to even try to be alone. I have to have my son 18 stay home with me or my aunt stay with me when my son does leave. It's horrible. I feel like I'm holding my son back from so much. I don't know how to beat this. Please help

Also I read on tik tok or twitter that if u still feel connected to younger people that means you’re not progressing or maturing and that’s bad. I’m 25 and I’m at this odd stage in my life where I’m getting older but still feel like I’m 20-22. I feel like I’m behind people that are my age. I think it’s because I’m been bed rotting with severe depression for the past 4 years… but I’m scared this means I’m becoming a pedo in the future.