I just read that pedophiles don't want to like children. This is not correct, right???

Yea I think so too.

How do I know if it's the same for me?

@bm99 Well it’s different. From what I’ve seen pedophiles are more worried about how society views them and the consequences rather than the thoughts themselves. But others are afraid of being them. They’re scared of the thoughts and themselves. Theyre scared of liking them. They’re scared of being a person with thoughts.

@Josh34 But how do I know I am not one of the people who are affraid of the thoughts? When I was 17/18 I liked someone who was 13/14. I don't know why, but she was very nice. Right now she's attractive and 16 years old. I just turned 21 now. Normally I only liked girls who are the same age or older than me. She's the first one who is much younger than me. I blocked her on Instagram so I can forget about her. Do you think this makes me a pedophile? I really don't want to be..

@bm99 Well. She’s not a kid-kid. She’s a teen. But I get it. Why do you like her? Do you think she’s sexually attractive? Or what? Or do you just really like her personality?

@Josh34 Well I liked her because she looked cute. It was not in a sexual way. She also was a nice person to talk to. But now she grew up more and now I do think she is sexually attractive. She does not look like a teen anymore. But I know she is way too young so I would not do anything. I'm scared this makes me a pervert. I just turned 21, but I don't look like 21. More like 18/19 or so. She also liked me back, but I'm glad it did not end up as a relationship because she's way too young. What do you think? Am I a sick pervert or is is normal to like this girl?

@bm99 Well depends on how someone looks I suppose. Like in age. Just don’t do anything. Let her be a friend. If you block her you’re just gonna be more worried. Let her be someone in your life. You don’t have to do anything.

@Josh34 I never intended to make a move on her or something due to the fact she's to young. But the fact that I liked her makes me scared that I could be a monster. Do you think it's strange for an 17 year old to like a 13/14 year old? Or was it just bad luck that she's very young?

@bm99 It depends. As a 14 year old I’ve liked 17 and 18 years old. And they would send nudes and stuff. So I mean don’t feel to bad. Just don’t sweat it. You’re not gonna do anything. Just be like “I had an attraction” accept it and move on. I mean other people have liked girls way younger. It’s okay. Just relax. It’s one person. Not a whole army of 16 year olds

We the thing is that I'm not attracted to children. I think that's disgusting and cruel. However, I'm scared that the fact that I liked a girl who is much younger than me makes me one. Normally I'm attracted to older people. I know about unconditional self acceptance. But I cannot never accept myself as being such a monster. I was diagnosed with OCD by my therapist a couple of months ago. I deal with different themes like Real Event OCD, HOCD, POCD and Health OCD. So it's likely that OCD gripped into this life event. But I can't know for sure and that's the part where I'm freaking out. I rather shoot myself than accepting any of these thoughts as being true. I know that this won't help recover from OCD, but how in the world could somebody accept being a pedophile

@bm99 But I cannot accept***

@bm99 There’s a slight distinction about acceptance that is important here. No one is asking you to accept that you’re definitely a pedophile. Acceptance is making peace with the fact that you have these thoughts at all. With OCD, it’s not about proving or disproving that your worst fears won’t come true. Because truly, no one has any idea what the future holds and there can never be absolute certainty. For example, you could very well have a brain aneurysm tomorrow. Now it’s unlikely that will happen. It may never happen. But you can’t know for sure. Yet you don’t live your life being concerned everyday about a brain aneurysm.

@NOCD Advocate - Carl Cornett well. when it comes to unconditional self acceptance, that means the individual in question would be able to accept himself regardless of the condition. that means if the condition is being a pedophile, he can still accept himself. however, acceptance doesn’t mean agreement. he doesn’t need to agree with anything a pedophile does. he can be very much against it, and there’s good reason to be. however, the overlying point is that he can very much dislike his thoughts while still accepting himself as a person. a murderer could very much dislike his past actions while still accepting himself as a person. think of it as if a murderer was your son- you could be adamantly against what they did while still accepting them as a human. the reason i say this is so when ocd throws different scenarios or possibilities at him, regardless if it’s ocd or not, he’ll be able to find acceptance and make peace within himself.

Thank you for your insight and clarification, it made alot of sense.