My ocd has been bothering me about suicide it’s not a compulsion to do so but it’s bothering me about the fact that what if i am and i’m just bothered by it and don’t want to admit it. Deep down though I know i’m not and that I don’t want to. I’m just bothered by my lack of knowledge in it and with the question that arises as to is it possible to be suicidal and not want to be...any thoughts?

Please keep this in check. If your not seeing a therapist make an appointment or talk to someone you feel comfortable with to discuss. Don’t let this slide, if it’s getting worse and you’re having troubles dealing with it Our brains work differently and we need to be fully aware of how it’s affecting our day to day functioning. Here’s an important article about this- https://www.verywellmind.com/ocd-self-injury-and-suicidal-thoughts-2510599

Maybe find an article that resonates with you and bring it to your therapy session. I think some therapists get spooked when they hear the words “suicide” and “self harm,” but an experienced OCD therapist will be familiar with suicide/self harm themed obsessions *and* with actual suicidal desires, and so should be able to know how to help you. Maybe look for an article on “suicidal themed OCD.” You can probably find one authored by an OCD therapist like Jon Hershfield or Steven Phillipson. Hope this helps.

Others who have experienced this will chime in and give you more insight. Awareness is key.

i read the articles and i don’t show any of those symptoms i don’t think that thought is bothering me anymore. However there is still one intrusive that is still bothering me

Are you seeing a therapist?

i’m planning on making my appointment tomorrow

Great. The more you discuss with them the better the results.