Need some advice I can’t get over the fact that I just found out today that I emotionally cheated on my (recently broken up) ex partner. Back then I think I didn’t know it was wrong but now seeing the old conversations with the person it makes me feel so much guilt. I let them call me baby and wished they could take care of me when I was sick. They told me they wanted me and I asked what way? (It’s not in a sexual way, just like wanted to know if they liked me romantically) We were kind of physical like cuddles and all that but of course I never kissed their lips or stuff. My partner was pretty affectionate with others too but seeing all of these and remembering I did and said all of these with another person makes me feel so bad. We were good friends. I had initially thought I like them. Which confuses me now because I knew I loved my partner then. I don’t know what’s real or not now and I can’t remember everything before. My reaction, my feelings, how it went. So my head keeps doubting everything. I forgot about all these and this was 2 years (almost 3) ago. Ever since I had never acted that close or affectionate with anybody, or so I remember, my head is making doubt things now. I love my partner so much and they have always thought I had emotionally cheated before. They know now again because I finally admitted today after just realizing it now. Anyway, I dont know why I feel like I have to specifically say what I saw and show them even though thats not a good idea and i really dont want them to see it and further hurt them! someone please hell me.

Hey girly. it sounds like you gave in to confession compulsion and checking compulsion going through texts. They always say hindsight is 20/20. That’s because you learn as you grow. 3 years ago is a long time. You may have had your reasons or not totally let your guard down - but ultimately being with someone is a choice every day, and the best you can say is i will love you and be faithful to you going forward. There are some things we do when we confess on menial things that end up being selfish so we try to release the guilt- but it doesn’t actually release it. Try to resist checking and confessing with your partner. Just focus on the future. You wouldn’t do the same thing now and that’s what’s important. Life is about learning.

Have you done any of the exercises on this app?

shishi, thank you for that. i wasn’t really checking for it at first. I was trying to arrange my old screenshots with my ex partner that i was gonna send and i found the screenshots with some friends, mostly affectionate with one. that’s when i felt the guilt and even though i deleted everything i had to check and check cause i have over 1k screenshots and i had to check if i left some undeleted ones. it felt wrong to delete it bc it felt like i had to show my ex partner but whats the point they say its old and i know they know i emotionally cheated. Idk why i feel like i gotta give specifics. also what do you mean by there are some things we do when we confess on menial things that end up selfish and we try to release guilt? I have deleted available pics of the convo bc its the past and i didnt wanna have the urge to send it over to my ex partner. I wouldnt but we already broken up.