- Username
- rosecoloredgirl
- Date posted
- 5y ago
?? try and see the funny side. I get triggered all the time for some really dark stuff like smashing my infants sons head on the side of the cot when he is in my arms, or when my son makes sucking sounds it reminds me of getting head, which then links his presence with a sex act. Horrible shit, but also really silly. Disengage and allow the sticky thought to be as stuck as long as it needs to a stick. Know the association could come and go, and always apply the same techniques
Rose colouredgirl I hope you don’t mind but whenever I’ve been down today I’ve come back to this post. I hope you see the funny side but it was a proper rage quit post. I love it???
Of course lmao. I don’t mind. It’s nice, i was just super fucking frustrated during that time lol cause the sound kept repeating in my head and it made me tick lol like i really wanted to punch him straight in the face and typing wasn’t enough to express the anger so i had to all caps
Thank you
Only a week ago (before my OCD and anxiety reared their disgusting friggin’ heads again), I could laugh about such thoughts, and I’d even taunt my OCD ? But it’s all waaaay stronger than it’s been for 7 years. It’s crazy how quickly I crumbled... This time, I have so much to lose! Beautiful wife, two beautiful kids.
That's OCD it's sneaky. It's done that to me many times. Lost many jobs. People just don't understand. My best to you. You will ride this out
Thanks Mark, much appreciated! Mine decided to manifest out of the sometimes overwhelming task of parenthood, so now my beautiful little son has become a series of intrusive thoughts. Just writing or thinking this makes me ashamed like people would never believe, and I know that it isn’t me! But OCD is like a fragmenting virus, infecting my brain so I don’t properly know what I feel a lot of the time. OCD is the great deceiver, and the devil ? I’m not very religious though, so take that with a grain of salt ?
Hahahaa???
I’m angry. Irritated. Whatever. I’m in a day program and yesterday they’re freaking out because I was open about my harm ocd. The dr I saw yesterday in the afternoon that wasn’t my actual doctor talked to me and told them it’s just ocd. Today my actual doctor told me to TELL MY FATHER THE THOUGHTS I GET OF STABBING HIM AND MY MOM IN THEIR SLEEP. Because “I don’t think he’d understand if he heard it from me” ME EITHER. Why the HELL would you give meaning to my thought?! Why would you make me tell him?! There’s no purpose, he’s an idiot! He was like “so you get thoughts of murdering us in our sleep” and said “should I be ready”. And then my dumb self mentioned my pocd while trying to explain ocd to him. ?♀️ He’s “trying” to be better then he used to be but he still pisses me off. I miss my best friend, I used to trust her with this stuff. I hate talking about my dad to anyone else.
I THINK I REMEMBERED I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH A MALE FUCK MY LIFE LITERALLY I- do not want to live.
My brother and I (I’m 20, he’s 16 but he’s taller and heavier than me) used to get violent with one another. I had anger issues growing up in an angry home (our dad was just like this), and I would yell and shout a lot, and we’d get into physical fights. I’ve been a LOT better about it over the past few years especially since I moved out to college, but yesterday as I was laying on the couch healing from my wisdom teeth extraction, he started hitting me with a plushie and then wiped his boogers on it. I tried really hard to ignore him but he just kept going and going, and then i tried to leave the room but he followed me and kept bothering me. I finally slapped him, he punched me with what felt like full force in the back (causing me to tear up from the pain), and I ended up scratching him so hard that it left a big mark. He punched me in the back again really hard and I ended up just crying. I now feel really really really horrible. We talked it out and both apologized and said we loved each other. But now i’m really worried. I’m concerned that I’m an abusive monster, that I have a personality disorder, that I’ve traumatized him over the years. I don’t know if these sorts of fights are normal between siblings or if there is something seriously wrong with me. Things like this have happened before. I keep googling scary things.
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