- Username
- rosecoloredgirl
- Date posted
- 5y ago
?? try and see the funny side. I get triggered all the time for some really dark stuff like smashing my infants sons head on the side of the cot when he is in my arms, or when my son makes sucking sounds it reminds me of getting head, which then links his presence with a sex act. Horrible shit, but also really silly. Disengage and allow the sticky thought to be as stuck as long as it needs to a stick. Know the association could come and go, and always apply the same techniques
Rose colouredgirl I hope you don’t mind but whenever I’ve been down today I’ve come back to this post. I hope you see the funny side but it was a proper rage quit post. I love it???
Of course lmao. I don’t mind. It’s nice, i was just super fucking frustrated during that time lol cause the sound kept repeating in my head and it made me tick lol like i really wanted to punch him straight in the face and typing wasn’t enough to express the anger so i had to all caps
Thank you
Only a week ago (before my OCD and anxiety reared their disgusting friggin’ heads again), I could laugh about such thoughts, and I’d even taunt my OCD ? But it’s all waaaay stronger than it’s been for 7 years. It’s crazy how quickly I crumbled... This time, I have so much to lose! Beautiful wife, two beautiful kids.
That's OCD it's sneaky. It's done that to me many times. Lost many jobs. People just don't understand. My best to you. You will ride this out
Thanks Mark, much appreciated! Mine decided to manifest out of the sometimes overwhelming task of parenthood, so now my beautiful little son has become a series of intrusive thoughts. Just writing or thinking this makes me ashamed like people would never believe, and I know that it isn’t me! But OCD is like a fragmenting virus, infecting my brain so I don’t properly know what I feel a lot of the time. OCD is the great deceiver, and the devil ? I’m not very religious though, so take that with a grain of salt ?
Hahahaa???
I THINK I REMEMBERED I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH A MALE FUCK MY LIFE LITERALLY I- do not want to live.
My brother and I (I’m 20, he’s 16 but he’s taller and heavier than me) used to get violent with one another. I had anger issues growing up in an angry home (our dad was just like this), and I would yell and shout a lot, and we’d get into physical fights. I’ve been a LOT better about it over the past few years especially since I moved out to college, but yesterday as I was laying on the couch healing from my wisdom teeth extraction, he started hitting me with a plushie and then wiped his boogers on it. I tried really hard to ignore him but he just kept going and going, and then i tried to leave the room but he followed me and kept bothering me. I finally slapped him, he punched me with what felt like full force in the back (causing me to tear up from the pain), and I ended up scratching him so hard that it left a big mark. He punched me in the back again really hard and I ended up just crying. I now feel really really really horrible. We talked it out and both apologized and said we loved each other. But now i’m really worried. I’m concerned that I’m an abusive monster, that I have a personality disorder, that I’ve traumatized him over the years. I don’t know if these sorts of fights are normal between siblings or if there is something seriously wrong with me. Things like this have happened before. I keep googling scary things.
I don’t know why my brain keeps targeting you but it is and it’s pissing me off, I hate how my head goes like oh did they bleed or enjoyed it or why didn’t they and I know full well why they didn’t and it just pisses me off because I don’t want these fucking thoughts anyone!- Or ask these questions. Oh did you cry?- Or the fact that more stuff pop into my head and me just imagining what happened is stuck in my mind and one of my thoughts- I don’t want to say sexualised- More like it popped up- About a baby!- I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL!- I know it’s wrong!- I can’t even look at any other porn and my head keeps saying that I like my mom romantically and not platonically!- LIKE WHY ME?!— IT JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO SEE THE DOCTERS SO I CAN STOP SUFFERING WITH THESE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES, I FEEL LIKE I VICTEM BLAME THEM AS WELL, MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE THAT WHEN I KNOW IT WASNT THEIR FUCKING FAULT!— AND IM SO SORRY.
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