So my most current theme has been ROCD. It’s been nagging at me for the last 4 years. OCD makes me INCREDIBLY self critical and I often turn that internal voice on to my partner and can be incredibly critical of him. In essence, I’m almost subconsciously sabotaging my relationship which is the OPPOSITE of what I want. I’m looking for people who experience this same response and patterned behaviour. Share tips, in-the-moment awareness suggestions. Words of encouragement (not reassurance). OCD is such a trip lol

I am diagnosed with OCD, ADHD, and mild depression. But my OCD symptoms are so prominent in my daily life where it feels debilitating. It comes in waves, there will be months with very minor symptoms and other times where it comes in random hitting me like a truck making me rethink life. I grew up having intrusive thoughts of all types, and a lot of them sent me over the edge because I couldn’t understand why things of such sort would cross my mind, things that I’m sure to this day that I’m incapable of or would never want to actually do. Yet I find myself in a constant cycle of trying to dig deep in the past and trying to figure out if I ever acted on any of the intrusive thoughts I can remember, yet ofc have no recollection of acting on them because they most likely didn’t happen. However, not having concrete proof of these things makes me not want to see another day sometimes. It is so hard to move into daily basis like this. I’m also in a happy healthy relationship and sometimes I get these thoughts of “what if I’ve done something awful during the relationship (for example, cheat, dishonesty, etc.) and can’t remember?” I know I would never do anything intentionally to harm my relationship and I think that maybe the idea of not having my partner sends me down a rabbit hole to think all these things. This mental fight is getting harder and harder. It feels unbearable. Does anyone have some fruit for thought, relate, or have any tips?

Hey guys, I’m reaching out in a pretty weak spot of desperation. I feel so insane and so sick of my mind recently, I’m completely drained from my mind. I’ve had such bad spikes of RCOD in my relationship of 1.5 years , which kills me because I truly want nothing more than to just be his peace and for us to work out. I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him. I feel like the pressure I placed on making sure I was “perfect” was so counter productive becuase instead I find myself doing everything wrong. I tell myself not to think of the wrong thing, then I think of the wrong thing, then I feel so guilty, and it plagues my mind for days. I feel so guilty it makes me feel detached and like I’m a bad girlfriend. I feel so bad for always burdening him with my anxieties and my “wrong thoughts” becuase he doesn’t deserve it, he’s so amazing. Recently, I began overthinking if I “love him” which I KNOW is so silly because when I’m calm, I laugh that I even got so worried , but when my anxiety creeps in, it feels so debilitating. I spiral and then try to prove to myself that I do love him , which then makes things in that moment feel “forced” because I’m acting out of intent to win the battle in my head. My RCOD has been a persistent issue, but this particular theme is pretty new and I hate it. I feel like I’ve been placing pressure on myself to overly appreciate him and it’s so counterproductive. I feel so bad because I told him about everything and he now thinks I don’t love him. Which is so wrong. I just want this to be fixed. Sometimes I feel like he’d be better off with a girl that isn’t such a headache and wouldn’t drain him all of the time but at the same time , I could never accept him being with anyone but me. Also, I have seen a psychoglist but it just didn’t feel right and I hated vocalising my thoughts because I felt it gave them more power - it feels like the only person I can truly be raw with about this stuff is my bestfriend. If anyone has any tips , PLEASE help me.

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you