Please, I really need help right now. I know not to ask for reassurance, so all I am asking for is moral support and comfort. I am struggling with what I believe to be a false memory, as it feels virtually indistinguishable from a real memory. It happened almost immediately after the event, which brought great alarm, especially since I couldn’t sort through the gaps in time. The thing is, the images that popped into my head go against all my moral fibers. Deep down I know I would never— or even could ever—bring myself to jeopardize the well-being of anyone. In fact, the first night I had I repeated my actions a few times to prove nothing bad happened. I was able to sleep well at night with only the vague impression of something bad, I think. So, I payed no mind. The next day, it all worsened. I avoided compulsions for a while, but the thought lingered. It startled me, like I thought: “Maybe this is not OCD, what if it really did happened?” Of course, I listed all the reasons why it couldn’t possibly have happened. I physically repeated what I really believe, or hope, happened. Yesterday, or maybe the day prior, I was struck with a vivid image. Again, I avoided compulsions without much anxiety, then I caved in. I asked my family what they thought, watched some videos, and did some research to solidify that what I imagined is a false memory. None of which were much help for long. I even cried later that evening—a couple times. Every time I don’t react to the intrusive thought, a suspicion arises, like it of must be true. But how? I mean, it’s almost entirely improbable. After constantly trying to piece everything together, it just feels like a jumbled mess of fact and fiction. I’m having trouble moving on... I dealt with this in the past and later realized how silly I was, but it always sucks being in the middle of it. I am now questioning, what is real? what is fabricated? I am now unsure of myself and the true nature of who I am. OCD has stripped me of my confidence. I hate this. I truly feel alone and broken as of recent. I wish I could flash forward in time to show myself it’s all OCD trickery. But, unfortunately, I can’t. If this is OCD, I know I should not ask for reassurance, but can anyone give me comfort? Has anyone experienced something similar? If so, what did you do to better yourself? Can you give me some moral support? I am so mortified at the idea of past and prospect of the future. I don’t really have the want to eat as normal and have trouble sleeping at the sheer amount dread and doubt. Thank you and much love!