- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Try some guided imagiry it will help you process the memory
- Date posted
- 6y
Guided imagery? Sorry I haven’t started therapy yet
- Date posted
- 6y
Hope you are feeling better hales, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm having a bit of a rough day/night too, my problem is I'm worried I am or I might start enjoying my thoughts. I don't know if you're familiar with thinking errors/cognitive distortions such as black and white thinking, magnification, etc but when I went over these with my therapist she added "What if" questions to the list. The goal is to recognize when you are making a thinking error, like "Oh I'm using black and white thinking" or "I'm magnifying this situation when it really wasn't that important," so you could also add "Oh that was a what if question, which isn't helpful and often doesn't have an answer." Wishing you the best. Hope your day or night gets better
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks T. Sorry you have a rough day too!!! I hate that other people suffer with this awful disease. I use a ocd checklist sometimes and it includes that, if you say what if it’s the ocd speaking I got scared because the thought I had was less of what if and more like “nobody would find out” and it felt so real But I’ve also thought that thought in the past so maybe I was ruminating and thinking back on past thoughts and that is why the thought seemed real not suddenly imagined. The whole thought was fuzzy but it felt real so I guess I thought I was remembering something Sorry for the rambling. I need therapy ? I’m a bit better now. Hope you have a good night as well
- Date posted
- 6y
That definitely happens to me as well, where it's less of a what if. I pray to God it's because ours brains have thought about these things so often that the what ifs are just already in our minds but don't need to be acknowledged and the thoughts manifest in some other way
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks T. Helps to know I’m not alone
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s tough. I’m still not out of the woods even if my posts may sound like I am. I still struggle with the idea that part of me could harm my family like I was ( as it’s very specific). I don’t really have POCD in the typical sense it’s very much trauma recreation that intrudes during intimacy. Weird as I have no doubt that the sexual side is the trigger from which everything else cascades. I may be looking in the wrong place. Truth is if these thoughts didn’t create nervousness then none of this other shit would have happened. None of it started with these themes. It all started with more mundane, male pride driven stuff. Still trying to uncouple. I wish you guys the best though. I need to spend less time here as the drive to help others is morphing into a drive to get reassurance myself.
- Date posted
- 6y
Soniclen so sorry that past trauma has caused you so much pain and contributed to your current fear. I think everyone’s pocd presents differently, mine is more false memories but still the fear of doing something wrong in present. We just have to keep on the road to recovery.
- Date posted
- 6y
It grows and changes and morphs. But none of it started with this. It started with anxiousness. Can’t help but feel I dug myself a huge fucking hole and I so wish I’d been taught at a young age to manage over thinking. Some of this feels too over learned to ever get right?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
- Date posted
- 17w
Hate those times where you can decipher if it’s false memories or real. My theme is Pocd and I Cosleep with my son and ocd really loves to mess with that. My brain is spinning and trying to spiral into me thinking I touch my little one inappropriately in my sleep. This little image that keeps replaying is me turned towards him but my hand was on his thigh and I do believe he was in his side. And I remember I grabbed the blanket but for some reason I feel as if I grabbed or felt the blanket where it was folded. (Not sure if I was trying to fully cover him back because the pass couple nights he was tangled up in the blanket) I don’t remember what happed after that because I went back to sleep. But that little part I want to be certain I was messing with the blanket and not inappropriately touching my son. I mean can you touch someone inappropriately while sleeping? I’m sure a “real” pedo would plan something like this right? Like they would go to sleep with that intention. (Which I didn’t) Someone please help
- Date posted
- 15w
This is really hard for me to post and put out here, I'm not diagnosed with OCD, I just recently started talk therapy. But when I was a child my mom speculated because I had OCD. Because I would have compulsions from intrusive thoughts that always stemmed around SA. Everything for me gets stuck in a record player and a spiral and I can't stop. This is a really concerning and disturbing one, so I thought I would warn again if the topic seems too much for many people. I just recently learned about false memeory OCD and its the only explanation I can come up with right now. I've never shared an intrusive thought out loud but this one is too much. I have been in a really intense spiral lately, where I keep having these extremely vivid memeories of me sexually assaulting people not in my body like I'm sleep walking. It's extremely disturbing and I've convinced myself I have this sort of alter identity or a sleep disorder that is violent. Ive looked up a bunch of disorders like that. I asked a few people if I sleep walk but they don't remember me ever doing something like that, but what if they somehow surpressed a memeory too? I want to bring this up to my therapist, but I have been afraid to because it is so much and a spiral that has lasted for the course of months now and I have ruined my mental health and relationships because of it. I am extremely paranoid that everyone is lying to me or plotting to hurt me. But not because I think they are bad, but because I believe I deserve it. It got to the point where I now have memories of people trying to tell me I am creepy and that I had done things to SA them, along with memories of people talking while I'm not in the room about it. And I genuinely can't tell if it's real or not because I swear they are actual events that I just never put too much thought into in the past or completely dissociated from. (My main response to anything too much or difficult is to dissociate.) It's actually concerning me and the people around me because if it's true then I don't think I should be around society. I don't eat right, I'm too afraid to sleep without my door locked, I am unemployed with no sense of direction out of highschool because of it. It all stemmed from a surpressed memeory , witch who knows is real now, where my ex calls me and tells me I assaulted him, and that he was going to get me back, and that he had spread explicit photos of me. Now I genuinely feel like there is evidence to back up this because he brings up all my coworkers I had at the time, and I have memories of them making strange comments to me. If I somehow assaulted this guy without having an ounce of social awareness of what I was doing was assault then I feel like I absolutely deserve every ounce of mental spiral that is consuming me and worse. And I don't know how to stop this. And I'm afraid if I tell my therapist she might put me in a hospital and my family just doesn't have the money for that, and neither do I as an individual. The guilt would consume me. But I'm pretty sure I have no choice at this point. Because anouther "memory" resurfaced where I took a nightmare I had a long time ago and somehow turned it into me being Sexually assaulted by my father this time, and now I can't look at him or my family without absolute disgust. And I have "memories" of my family trying to talk to me about it but I completely forgot the event and processed it like a dream. I can't tell if something really creepy is actually happening or not but I'm starting to think it is because the way my brother acts around my family is weird but it could be my paranoia and the fact I have been freaking out everyone around me with my mental health. Either way I need to tell a professional because if I DID hurt my ex seriously, I need to take every ounce of accountability. But I don't wanna confess to a memory I don't even fully understand myself. I thought about contacting him several times and asking him if I have ever caused pain, but he blocked me and I feel like that crosses boundaries he has clearly set. Also I don't want to put this mental crisis on any other people, because my family is already freaked out enough. After writing this all out I'm starting to believe I really should force myself to tell my therapist no matter the consequences, I just feel like I need to admit this to a someone to get over my fear of saying it all out loud. Because everyday and every night I keep being plagued by these unwanted flashes of either me being hurt or me hurting other people In really disturbing and terrible ways. and it feels completely real with like context I've made to back it up. Am I unconsciously creepy? I'm just afraid I've become my worse fear and I was it without knowing my whole life.
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