Okay so this is going to sound gross but does anybody else have to deal with OCD while using the restroom? Every time I have to *use* a urinal, I have to complete a series of mostly mental but sometimes physical compulsions before, during, and after going. For instance, my OCD makes me feel like if I don’t complete the compulsions such as imagining a certain color shade for a period of time, or if I don’t “flex” or strain my groin for a certain period of time, then it means I’m gay, or I like looking at other guy’s genitals, such as the person using the urinal next to me. These compulsions are extremely uncomfortable to think about and sometimes painful to complete, as the “strainage” of the groin can hurt after long periods of time. Does anyone else have this, or have any advice? I really hate feeling alone with such embarrassing and uncomfortable obsessions/compulsions

I hate that you feel embarrassed/uncomfortable with your situation because you are SO not alone in terms of what you’re dealing with. I feel the same confusion towards my own OCD feelings. Have you talked to anyone about it?

I literally just discovered this app tonight and I love that it allows this type of anonymity for people with OCD. Because I do talk to a therapist on a biweekly basis but it’s so hard for other people to understand

This doesn't sound gross to me! It might be worth trying to talk to your therapist about. Maybe they understand more than you give credit for? I hope so. ? I'm glad you could share here, though. I'm sorry it's uncomfortable for you. My advice might be bad advice but might be worth a try❗ you mentioned one of your fears being that if you don't complete your compulsion, that means you are gay. So my advice would be, that while you aren't in that situation in the bathroom, but instead at home by yourself on the couch or whatever, just say to yourself, "so what if I WAS gay? " "So what if I am gay? " I mean really, do you want that fear to have control over you? Now, I'm not saying go be gay if you aren't. Be whatever you are, or whatever you wish to be. What I AM saying is, do a thought experiment, where you are safe, and let yourself imagine the "WORST". Which seems like being gay is the fear. So what if you were gay? What would that mean? All sorts of other thoughts and images will probably come up. It will be unique to you, your history, your community, your family and friends, etc.... Maybe if you were gay then people you care about could reject you. Maybe you just would reject yourself. Maybe something else. But it's OK. What if those things happened? They might. Or they even might NOT. But even if your worst fear came true, what then? Can you imagine it? Are you still alive? There are a lot of people who would still love and support you, even at your most worst, the worst case you can possibly imagine. I would! And you aren't even close to the worst you can imagine =) I feel for your anxiety. And I think the more you share it, the more you will realize, others can and want to understand and support you. And the more you share, the less power I think it will hold over you. It's ok that you have these anxieties, and it's ok that you have these compulsions, and I truly believe you will continue to grow and learn and find your own way through this time. I'm so happy you shared and proud of you for doing that, even if it's anonymously. One more thought, if you don't feel comfortable telling your therapist about the compulsion, yet, maybe start with telling them about your fear of being gay and how you feel like it is affecting you in a disproportionate amount. And maybe they could help you work through that some! All the best and wishing you much support! And remember I'm no expert, just talking here. If any of it helps, great! If not, please dismiss and I trust you will find what works best for you! ??

Thank you all so much, you really helped me a lot and I’m so grateful to have people that understand

No, not at all! I don’t even know how to explain it to my therapist without it sounding weird. I’m stuck in a rut, the only way I can say all of this is because it’s anonymous ?

Same here