So strange and personal question but has any female here with HOCD ever watched Lesbian porn or actively looked at sexual pictures of women and been aroused, but identify as straight. Because I did that when I was young but when I did it (it was only for a month or two) I identified as straight and continued to like boys and as a kid I never had the thought I was gay because I never had a crush on a girl. But now that my HOCD started in summer it’s been coming back to haunt me. The part that worry’s me is that when I was little I actively searched out these pictures. It wasn’t exactly like things that were meant to arouse me, but it did at times. I just found them interesting and actively looked at them. It wasn’t an addiction but it wasn’t an accident. Does this mean I’m gay? I rlly hop it doesn’t and it’s just HOCD. I just can’t let go of this it makes my HOCD crazy...

This is not something that happens to women. It happens to men as well. I'm straight and have always been straight as far back as I can remember. However, wen I went to middle school I was bullied brutally. One of the things other kids bothered me about was that I was gay. I was not. It bothered me so much that my OCD started giving me intrusive thoughts about this. After fighting these thoughts for such a long time I decided to test myself and went through a period similar to yours. Or as any psychiatrist would say: I was a curious teenager. It was something that didn't feel right for me - it felt alien - and eventually I stopped. However, it's important to know that teenagers do this type of stuff and they are naturally curious about sex. As a therapist once told me: You could rub yourself against a chair or a sofa. It would feel good, but it doesn't mean you are sexually attracted to sofas or chairs. Gay people don't worry about being gay, but about how they will be accepted by others while embracing their sex sexuality at the same time. You, and me, we fight these thought because they feel alien and not our true sexuality. That's why we're getting OCD about it. You say: "I never had a thought I was gay [...] but it's been coming back to haunt me."

Have a look at the most watched porn by females: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_uk/article/j5zzyp/heres-the-porn-that-women-watched-in-2018-according-to-pornhub

People of all sexualities watch different types of porn! I think this is “normal”!! All my straight friends who watch porn have talked about watching lesbian porn here and there.

Girl, I wouldn’t worry about it. :) I’m straight and used to do the same thing. It doesn’t mean you’re lesbian. Like myok said above, people of all sexualities watch different kinds of porn!

You described my situation pretty accurately. I had always liked girls. In fact, I remember fantasizing about kissing girls and being naked with them from a very early age. I remember getting my first crush and the plenty of times I wanted to sleep with a girl I liked. But that time in middle school is always brought back by my OCD and tells me I've been living a lie. The fact that I haven't had a relationship in years also doesn't help. Stay strong and remember there are people going through the same agonizing time as you. I'm always here to talk it out with you if you'd like and so is the rest of the people here. :)

I'm pretty sure just the sexual content of porn is enough to arouse anyone, regardless of the sexuality portrayed

@Va that’s crazy! Just read the article!!!