- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
There’s a concept in meditation I learned from a book written by Sharon Salzberg: “some things just hurt.” 2020, for everyone, has been a tough year. Isolation, job insecurity, personal upheaval, and the rest can all increase our suffering. You have very palpable, real reasons for experiencing the emotions you are. It would make sense, given the circumstances, why you might feel how you do. But, the current circumstances are feeding a cycle of unpleasant emotions. First, you’re only useful to anyone else if you’re taking care of yourself. When a plane is going down, they tell you to put your mask on frost
- Date posted
- 4y
(Sorry, accidentally posted before I was finished) Now, I’m a father of two and went through a divorce. I’m not saying you’re headed there, nor making any value judgments about your marriage. What I can say is that it is ultimately your husband’s personal journey towards wellness. You can encourage, support, and help in whatever way you’d like, but where the journey takes him will be his own personal experience. You can’t control that. You can’t take responsibility for it, either. You can only show up the best that you can. So, you have to ask yourself if you are doing that. Are you in treatment? Are you exercising? Eating well? Prioritizing your well-being? Are you trying to be mindful? Generous? Kind? Maybe you are, but if you’re not, how can you cultivate this way of interacting with the world? Figure that out and head that direction with one step at a time.
- Date posted
- 4y
Your job isn’t to quell his rage and resentment. That’s what he should be doing for himself in therapy. Your job is take care of yourself. And if stress, ocd, and being resented/constantly guilt tripped aren’t putting you “in the mood”: that’s pretty understandable. It’s okay to say no to sex. I’d also encourage you to look into videos from Ester Perel on why we struggle with desire in marriage and what we need to cultivate it again. When you’re focused on caregiving to others all day, there’s no room for desire to grow: https://youtu.be/z68K3rVPtAw
- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi all, i am new to this. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since age 12, been on and off a few different antidepressants and nothing has truly seemed to help me.. in addition i am always paranoid that taking medicine is turning me into a different person than i was supposed to be? I am 21 now and just got out on a medicine to help with my chronic migraines, it is also listed as an antidepressant. I was so hesitant to start taking this and find myself fighting off compulsions to stop my medication daily. It’s like i get so worried and paranoid and always feel like It is potentially harming myself and my brain/body for some reason, even if I’m just doing something simple like taking meds or even eating certain foods.. but when I’m not in that spiral anymore I realize all these thoughts I have everyday just don’t make logical sense. I have so many other things I overthink about too and it is getting really hard to cope. Doing some research I think OCD is what I have been actually struggling with this whole time, I am scared but finally ready to start taking care of myself and getting better. Thankful I found this app!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
Really need input. I have been suffering with doubts and thoughts since November. I saw a therapist who diagnosed me with OCD and have been in OCD medication for a couple months now. The meds have helped drastically with the frequency and urgency of my thoughts. But over the last week or so they have increased again. I did just get laid off from my job so I’m not sure if the stress from that has anything to do with it. But I’m at the point of questioning whether it really even is ROCD or if I’ve just been using it as an excuse to not see red flags. For example, my doubts are mainly around his contribution to chores, our quality time and romance, and how much of the load he will carry in the future once kids and things come into the picture. He is a hard worker who works long hours. He does also have ADHD which I think could be important to know here. But he will often say he is going to do little things like “Wednesday we will play a game together that night” and then they day comes and he ends up being too tired to play or just wants to watch our show together instead. And then if he doesn’t do a chore on the exact day he’s supposed to I start thinking he doesn’t care or doesn’t keep his word. I feel like I’m constantly asking for dates or romance or him to say sweet things. And I know sometimes he does. But at this point I can’t tell if it’s genuine unmet needs or if ROCD is making me not see the positive things he does or if ROCD is making me think I need more of these things because of unrealistic expectations or comparisons to social media. I think I know deep down I love him and want to be with him but then I start to think that I’m being treated wrong or that I’m settling. Please help.
- Date posted
- 19d
Life has been so tough for me lately. I’ve been stuck in an OCD spiral since last December. Most of my fears come from incidentally causing harm to my family or others. I feel like every action is a moral conflict, or that any time I make a bad decision, act out of frustration, or self indulge in anything, I’m debating about whether I’m an awful person who doesn’t care about my kids, my wife, or other people. I’m a stay at home parent currently, and all three of my kids are neurodivergent, with my youngest being on the spectrum. My youngest is nonverbal, so my OCD loves to manipulate that, making it hard to know if my son is happy, sad, upset, etc. Always feeling like I’m worried I’ll make too many mistakes as a parent. That any time I lose my cool, it means I’m just this awful person and parent. I’m burnt out from the stress currently, so I always feel on edge, which makes it harder to have the mental power to resist compulsions. I am in OCD therapy, which has helped. But every time I feel like I’m taking steps in the right direction I get sucked back in. Every time I resist compulsions, I’m triggered almost immediately after. Because I’m a stay at home parent, and a lot of my triggers and themes involve harm to others, particularly my family, it’s just trigger after trigger after trigger. My wife is exhausted from my mental health, which just adds to the guilt I already feel. I hate that my mental health is affecting everyone, and it only reinforces the idea that I’m causing harm or suffering to those around me. I just need a break. I cannot keep living my life this way. This is the worst my OCD has been, and I feel so traumatized from all the days and hours I’ve spent feeling like I’m at my limit. Thanks for reading. Feel free to respond if you can relate. Just needed to vent.
- Date posted
- 15d
I really need help rn but I feel like a horrible person. For context: I am on my period right now, 2 hours of sleep last night because cramps were so bad, haven't eaten until now and it's 7pm, had to work all day, so it's kinda just a perfect storm. On top of that my ROCD has lots to latch onto: 1) Me and my bf of almost 2 years just renewed our lease for another year and that just is obviously triggering for ROCD. 2) Somehow the biggest trigger is the fact that he shaved his beard last night, and he often wears a thick beard and when he shaves it's like he shaves 10 years off his face and I feel like I'm dating a teenager. My ROCD is really latching onto this and I'm struggling to feel attracted to him and that's opening a whole Pandora's box of ROCD fixations for me and I HATE that my brain blows up such a tiny thing into the end of the world. On top of that, I'm feeling the INCREDIBLY STRONG URGE to confess (which is a compulsion) to him that I'm having these thoughts but I know that would only give me temporary relief and would make him feel deeply insecure about himself for no good reason. I hate myself and I feel like he loves me unconditionally regardless of how I look and I'm just being so nitpicky and shallow.
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