First, let me preface this with that I am not seeking reassurance with this post. I just need to put it out into the ether. I’ve had OCD in one form or another my entire life. Only last June it morphed into rOCD really bad and I had a nervous breakdown. With all the stress that I am under not only as a teacher during COVID, but a mother of two young children, I’ve been spiking like crazy. Everything my husband does annoys me. He is dealing with his own mental health issues but self medicated daily with booze and pot. He has just started seeing a virtual therapist. My sex drive is at an all time low and when I’m spiking I don’t even want to be touched. He has worked really hard in a short amount of time to be supportive and understanding of my triggers, but sometimes his human side comes out and he makes me feel bad about my OCD. “I just want to have sex with my wife. You don’t love me anymore, I disgust you.” Which of course makes me spike even more. I know avoiding sex is part of my compulsions but I’m just so mentally, emotionally, and physically taxed that sex is the furthest thing from my mind. He, at times, can be cruel and spiteful and almost give me the silent treatment the next day after he’s asked for sex and I’ve said no. I just don’t know what to do. I’m also on an SSRI which could be affecting my libido. I know it’s not fair to him at all and any normal person would be frustrated by me. Any ideas on how to quell the rage and resentment that he has against me is greatly appreciated.

There’s a concept in meditation I learned from a book written by Sharon Salzberg: “some things just hurt.” 2020, for everyone, has been a tough year. Isolation, job insecurity, personal upheaval, and the rest can all increase our suffering. You have very palpable, real reasons for experiencing the emotions you are. It would make sense, given the circumstances, why you might feel how you do. But, the current circumstances are feeding a cycle of unpleasant emotions. First, you’re only useful to anyone else if you’re taking care of yourself. When a plane is going down, they tell you to put your mask on frost

Your job isn’t to quell his rage and resentment. That’s what he should be doing for himself in therapy. Your job is take care of yourself. And if stress, ocd, and being resented/constantly guilt tripped aren’t putting you “in the mood”: that’s pretty understandable. It’s okay to say no to sex. I’d also encourage you to look into videos from Ester Perel on why we struggle with desire in marriage and what we need to cultivate it again. When you’re focused on caregiving to others all day, there’s no room for desire to grow: https://youtu.be/z68K3rVPtAw

Hi all, i am new to this. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since age 12, been on and off a few different antidepressants and nothing has truly seemed to help me.. in addition i am always paranoid that taking medicine is turning me into a different person than i was supposed to be? I am 21 now and just got out on a medicine to help with my chronic migraines, it is also listed as an antidepressant. I was so hesitant to start taking this and find myself fighting off compulsions to stop my medication daily. It’s like i get so worried and paranoid and always feel like It is potentially harming myself and my brain/body for some reason, even if I’m just doing something simple like taking meds or even eating certain foods.. but when I’m not in that spiral anymore I realize all these thoughts I have everyday just don’t make logical sense. I have so many other things I overthink about too and it is getting really hard to cope. Doing some research I think OCD is what I have been actually struggling with this whole time, I am scared but finally ready to start taking care of myself and getting better. Thankful I found this app!!