I had gotten pretty good at living with the uncertainty of whether I was attracted to minors or not. However, now that I've opened myself up to dating it's becoming a problem again. I feel like it's something a prospective partner should know at some point, especially if they have daughters. I also question my motivation for finding someone I'm physically attracted to. In other words, I'm afraid of dating someone I don't find attractive because I think that means I'd rather be with a minor who I notice is attractive. I don't know if I made that very clear 🙃.

You do not need to tell your partner about the content of your intrusive thoughts. You can disclose that you have ocd and explain a bit about how ocd works and how that effects your life in certain ways, but you do not know or ever have to go into the content. It’s not a matter of secrecy, it’s privacy. Your ocd isn’t a threat to anyone but yourself and it’s content isn’t relevant to anyone but you and your therapist.

I understand what you're saying. I think anyone with OCD should look at ways of explaining ocd to their new partner first. Just starting with "I have OCD about attraction to minors" to someone who doesnt even understand OCD would be alarming. OCD is really hard to understand for someone who doesnt have it so that in itself is a units worth of lesson planning on it's own lol. I think once the individual understands that, the topic of theme would be easier

Deleted reply.

I’ve often found when you really love someone it doesn’t matter what category of person you tend to be attracted to. I’ve had a number of friends who, for example, consider themselves gay, and wound up happily marrying a person of opposite gender. And in your case, it’s your OCD theme, not even who YOU are truly attracted to. Don’t even feel the need to share that you have OCD before you are ready to. Yes, if a relationship develops, that’s something you’re not going to want to hide if you’re even able to. But you absolutely don’t have to share your unwanted OCD thoughts. Maybe you’ll get to a point where you can and want to, but if not, that’s ok. I’ve been with my now husband for over 16 years. There were times I shared my unwanted images/thoughts and he freaked out, though didn’t love me any less. And there are times now, when I can share more without his freaking out because he understands a little bit more about OCD. Or at least he understands that there is so much of it that he’ll probably never quite understand. So only very recently, if I share that I’m seeing really violent images/thoughts, he knows he can ask if he needs to worry or if he just needs to comfort me because it’s just not a fun thought. Even then, I usually don’t describe the full details of the thought or image, partially because I don’t want to keep focusing on it either. Don’t let OCD tell you that you NEED to disclose anything. Confessional OCD can also be hard to fight. So can ruminating on all possibilities before you’re at that stage. Sending you strength! 💜💪🏼