- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand the doubting whether how you’re thinking is how you “really” feel or the OCD...
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand this!! I'll have times when I feel great and so in love with my boyfriend, but then when the ocd fires up, I feel so hopeless and wonder if I even have feelings for him. Then I wonder if that's really the ocd or if it's true? It's hard to not feel hopeless. But all we can do is accept the thoughts and choose to either love them or not!
- Date posted
- 6y
I go through this exact same thing! Four months ago we were planning engagements and everything, and now I have this cloud of doubt in my mind just spitting out reasons as to why it won’t happen, or why i don’t want it to happen :( but at the end of the day, I know that it’s against my values to be thinking this way, as it makes me incredibly sad and depressed. Hang in there, believe in yourself, things are bound to get better ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve been with someone for almost 2 years and I used to think he was magic. We didn’t have too many similarities but we clicked in a way I never have with anyone else. But there are definitely problems now, which I assume is probably the case in most long term relationships. Things change. There are certain things he does that I just don’t know if I want to be with him for the rest of my life. And his family is kinda annoying. And it’s so hard though Because I CAN’T tell if I’m being reasonable or not. My OCD has done this my whole life. Where it is so hard to tell if I’m being dramatic, if these aren’t just things we can fix or minor issues. Because my OCD exaggerates EVERYTHING.
- Date posted
- 6y
yes! it’s so distressing to live in this constant anxiety while at the same time having moments of hope, it’s confusing which thoughts to believe... but knowing that I choose him today and everyday helps! and it helps so much to know I’m not alone in this :)
- Date posted
- 6y
thank you! I needed to here that. while feeling so depressed and anxious all the time hurts so bad... we are so motherf-ing strong for persevering and not letting this tear us away from our loved ones and that’s pretty amazing when you think about it :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m feeling the exact same! I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, and the ROCD started 8 months ago. It’s constant anxiety! Moments of high & low, confidence & doubts, happiness & depression
- Date posted
- 6y
There is a thing that worries me the most : what if I don’t love my gf and my brain trying to say this?
- Date posted
- 6y
fortunately and unfortunately I don’t have any conflicts that feed the rocd. fortunately because then I know all these doubts and worries are irrational but unfortunately because then I have no idea where these fears are coming from and that’s really confusing. in fact I’d say sometimes the fact that we don’t have conflicts feed my rocd because it just confuses me even more :/
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah...what an interesting stuff our brain :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@carrie1099 I struggle with the same thing about wondering where these fears are coming from. But that’s kind of the problem in OCD, if we can’t figure it out it’s ok. We do not need to know why it’s happening and where the fears are coming from. That’s just an added bonus when people do know. What we do instead is put in the work of getting better regardless of why it’s happening! Something I struggle to remember in the thick of the anxiety.
- Date posted
- 6y
Well, 5 months ago I woke up in the morning and suddenly felt like my gf is not the right person for me to spend the entire life together. It happened with my ex-wife (same reason of divorce ), it happened with my current gf 1,5 year ago, but that time I just told myself this is bullshit thinking this way and the ROCD didn’t extend. But now it is for real: I am thinking it might be so cool to stay alone with all I have , she is not my destiny, etc. thinking about family and children and also how my mom will accept all this triggers the ROCD. I have started thinking maybe I am just don’t love her and it’s time to end, but I am scared, because I had the same situation once and I also have no doubts this gonna happen again if I find someone else
- Date posted
- 6y
And you guys think worth trying to wait and hopefully survive? Because I know for sure: you can leave your “beloved” and the live is gonna repair. But next time with someone else the same will happen.
- Date posted
- 6y
@sam me too! mine has been going on for about 6 months now. near the beginning it was a lot worse so I hoping now that I don’t have the constant anxiety as much that the worst is over. I’m also going to try medication along with my therapy sessions to see if the combination will help more.
- Date posted
- 6y
@gigavic I’m aware of the patterns other people with rocd have taken when they end their relationship with one person just to find another and experience the same. but i’ve decided thats not how my story will end. so yes it’s worth “waiting it out” because I know he’s the only one I want. others with rocd have recovered with their SO at their sides so I have hope that this will pass and we’ll come out stronger than ever. I don’t want anyone else and that’s why I stay.
- Date posted
- 6y
@Carrie1099 That’s the reason why I am still here: I don’t want to date anyone else. Do you have any critical conflicts with your bf energizing the ROCD? Mine is like I wanna stay in Portugal and live here, but my gf wants back home :) and this is like a circle - I am thinking she is not sharing my vision of life which feeds my ROCD
- Date posted
- 6y
^I’ve thought the same but what helps me come out of those obsessive thoughts is that if you really didn’t love your SO, you would know. you wouldn’t be having to ask yourself that because you would know you didn’t. and so if you’re worrying and obsessing about it, you really do love her :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@gigavic it definitely is :)
- Date posted
- 6y
@molly that’s something I have to remind myself of too, even though it can be really hard among the anxiety and the depression. and even though it’s scary not knowing why I worry about my relationship, I feel like it’s better in a way than actually having something to worry about, because when I don’t I can recognize them as the irrational fears that they are :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like my relationship isn’t real. I keep thinking: • Why am I even with him? • Do I actually like him, or am I just used to him? • What if I’m just convincing myself that I like him? I feel numb, disconnected, and nothing I tell myself reassures me. Sometimes, I get really irritable when we talk, I don’t feel joy, and I start overanalyzing everything. It makes me feel like the absolute truth is that I don’t like him, and I’m just in denial. I also heard that when you don’t like someone, there’s no anxiety—just relief. But I have moments where the thought “I don’t want to be with him” crosses my mind, and I don’t feel anything at all. And because I don’t panic immediately, I start thinking “Maybe this means it’s true.” I’ve read that love isn’t about feeling excitement 24/7, but my mind keeps telling me that if I don’t feel connected, if I have to search for reasons why I like him, that must mean I don’t. I feel like I’m losing touch with my emotions, and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to feel love or happiness the way I used to. It’s like I keep waiting for some proof that I truly want to be with him, but I never find it. Has anyone else felt this way? I feel like I’m trapped in this endless doubt, and I don’t know what’s real anymore.
- Date posted
- 17w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
- Date posted
- 13w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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