my bf and I are going on 3 years and before I was so certain I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. like SO sure. when we really clicked it was a moment of “he’s the one” and I was so happy for that. but within the last 6 months, this rocd has been clouding my dreams of being with him for the rest of my life... it just feels like a hopeless case... it’s like I can’t dream about it because it seems impossible and therefore it makes me anxious... has this happened to anyone else? where they go from being so sure, to so distressed...?

I understand the doubting whether how you’re thinking is how you “really” feel or the OCD...

I understand this!! I'll have times when I feel great and so in love with my boyfriend, but then when the ocd fires up, I feel so hopeless and wonder if I even have feelings for him. Then I wonder if that's really the ocd or if it's true? It's hard to not feel hopeless. But all we can do is accept the thoughts and choose to either love them or not!

I go through this exact same thing! Four months ago we were planning engagements and everything, and now I have this cloud of doubt in my mind just spitting out reasons as to why it won’t happen, or why i don’t want it to happen :( but at the end of the day, I know that it’s against my values to be thinking this way, as it makes me incredibly sad and depressed. Hang in there, believe in yourself, things are bound to get better ❤️

I’ve been with someone for almost 2 years and I used to think he was magic. We didn’t have too many similarities but we clicked in a way I never have with anyone else. But there are definitely problems now, which I assume is probably the case in most long term relationships. Things change. There are certain things he does that I just don’t know if I want to be with him for the rest of my life. And his family is kinda annoying. And it’s so hard though Because I CAN’T tell if I’m being reasonable or not. My OCD has done this my whole life. Where it is so hard to tell if I’m being dramatic, if these aren’t just things we can fix or minor issues. Because my OCD exaggerates EVERYTHING.

yes! it’s so distressing to live in this constant anxiety while at the same time having moments of hope, it’s confusing which thoughts to believe... but knowing that I choose him today and everyday helps! and it helps so much to know I’m not alone in this :)

thank you! I needed to here that. while feeling so depressed and anxious all the time hurts so bad... we are so motherf-ing strong for persevering and not letting this tear us away from our loved ones and that’s pretty amazing when you think about it :)

I’m feeling the exact same! I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years, and the ROCD started 8 months ago. It’s constant anxiety! Moments of high & low, confidence & doubts, happiness & depression

There is a thing that worries me the most : what if I don’t love my gf and my brain trying to say this?

fortunately and unfortunately I don’t have any conflicts that feed the rocd. fortunately because then I know all these doubts and worries are irrational but unfortunately because then I have no idea where these fears are coming from and that’s really confusing. in fact I’d say sometimes the fact that we don’t have conflicts feed my rocd because it just confuses me even more :/

Yeah...what an interesting stuff our brain :)

@carrie1099 I struggle with the same thing about wondering where these fears are coming from. But that’s kind of the problem in OCD, if we can’t figure it out it’s ok. We do not need to know why it’s happening and where the fears are coming from. That’s just an added bonus when people do know. What we do instead is put in the work of getting better regardless of why it’s happening! Something I struggle to remember in the thick of the anxiety.

Well, 5 months ago I woke up in the morning and suddenly felt like my gf is not the right person for me to spend the entire life together. It happened with my ex-wife (same reason of divorce ), it happened with my current gf 1,5 year ago, but that time I just told myself this is bullshit thinking this way and the ROCD didn’t extend. But now it is for real: I am thinking it might be so cool to stay alone with all I have , she is not my destiny, etc. thinking about family and children and also how my mom will accept all this triggers the ROCD. I have started thinking maybe I am just don’t love her and it’s time to end, but I am scared, because I had the same situation once and I also have no doubts this gonna happen again if I find someone else

And you guys think worth trying to wait and hopefully survive? Because I know for sure: you can leave your “beloved” and the live is gonna repair. But next time with someone else the same will happen.

@sam me too! mine has been going on for about 6 months now. near the beginning it was a lot worse so I hoping now that I don’t have the constant anxiety as much that the worst is over. I’m also going to try medication along with my therapy sessions to see if the combination will help more.

@gigavic I’m aware of the patterns other people with rocd have taken when they end their relationship with one person just to find another and experience the same. but i’ve decided thats not how my story will end. so yes it’s worth “waiting it out” because I know he’s the only one I want. others with rocd have recovered with their SO at their sides so I have hope that this will pass and we’ll come out stronger than ever. I don’t want anyone else and that’s why I stay.

@Carrie1099 That’s the reason why I am still here: I don’t want to date anyone else. Do you have any critical conflicts with your bf energizing the ROCD? Mine is like I wanna stay in Portugal and live here, but my gf wants back home :) and this is like a circle - I am thinking she is not sharing my vision of life which feeds my ROCD

^I’ve thought the same but what helps me come out of those obsessive thoughts is that if you really didn’t love your SO, you would know. you wouldn’t be having to ask yourself that because you would know you didn’t. and so if you’re worrying and obsessing about it, you really do love her :)

@gigavic it definitely is :)

@molly that’s something I have to remind myself of too, even though it can be really hard among the anxiety and the depression. and even though it’s scary not knowing why I worry about my relationship, I feel like it’s better in a way than actually having something to worry about, because when I don’t I can recognize them as the irrational fears that they are :)