- Username
- garden
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Eden, I worry about the same thing all the time. I don’t have an easy answer except that only a person with OCD would worry about not having OCD.
I think this is pretty normal. Although the conscious act of faking other mental illnesses for attention is, ironically, a sort of mental illness in itself - almost like Munchausen Syndrome, just with mental health - it sounds like you have legitimate OCD. And many people without the above desire for mental illness may experience temporary or long-term desires to be diagnosed with mental illnesses for their own reasons (this can be unconscious within the mind as well). My point is, of course, that yes, it sounds like you have OCD, and a professional diagnosis will most likely help to prove it. And not only that, but wanting a mental illness can be pretty normal, particularly within the OCD community. It’s great that you’re wanting to raise awareness for this community, and I wish you the best of luck in your diagnosis and treatment plan!
Thanks guys! My my issue is that, even though I think about it a lot and it pisses me off, the idea that I’m faking it doesn’t cause me much anxiety at the moment. I guess that’s because my obsessions have been pretty minimal lately and I’m doing okay (because this time a month ago, it definitely did cause me stress). Djdhhsjsh idk I just feel like it has to get bad again for me to get properly diagnosed!
For example, the other day I got diagnosed with TMJ (it’s a weird bone thing -physical not mental) and I wasn’t even upset about it. In fact I was pretty happy because it made me feel unique and I wanted to tell people. My TMJ isn’t all that bad, and if it was worse or if it was a different, more dangerous condition, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. But it’s so attention seeking to be HAPPY about a disorder and I hate that I am. So what if this is what I’m doing with OCD?
So I have OCD about OCD itself. Like I will be talking about harm OCD or POCD that I struggle/struggled with as a kid and it come up sometimes now but it was rlly bad as a kid (I’m 16 now) and then I’ll worry “what if you don’t have harm ocd or pocd, and when you have pocd you can’t get the images and thoughts out of your head but because it doesn’t make you feel as physically sick as sexuality OCD what if I’m making my POCD and harm OCD up for attention?! Can anyone relate...
my biggest fear is what if i don't actually have ocd and get exposed as a fraud. im afraid i might have been living a lie the whole time. i keep thinking that im not as ill as others here. i feel like i don't deserve attention, it's like im unconsciously invalidating myself all the time and j can't help but think that im an impostor in disguise. that im just doing this for attention. that i just want to be mentally ill to feel like i fit in somewhere. when i show a new ocd symptom im afraid that oh im probably just copying something that i saw off this app here because i want to feel like i truly do have ocd. i know i most likely have it but im so stuck in this loop of doubt. my ocd isn't as severe as it was in the beginning so that makes me feel even more invalid and i have developed impostor syndrome over the years.
Does anyone else feel like they’ve really just convinced themselves they have OCD just to feel better about the thoughts and feelings they have? Sometimes I feel like a liar or a fraud. I’m undiagnosed and sometimes I feel like an imposter on this app. I worry that I’ve just convinced myself of having OCD as an excuse for my thoughts and feelings, so I can feel better.
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