The day I get officially diagnosed, I almost can’t WAIT to let certain people know and post things about it and raise awareness for it etc. I’m excited to explore OCD. But I feel like I’m just doing this for attention / for pity and sympathy. It’s bad, and I know that, but I’ve always loved it. And this often makes me think that I don’t have OCD, I’m just telling myself I do so I can be unique and special. Personally, I found out about OCD through reading an article about a harm ocd sufferer and then telling myself that I too wanted to kill my family. It was distressing. However I can identify traces of OCD prior to that. I frantically worried that I had HIV (health) & I frantically worried that life was all just a simulation (existential). I also suffered with confessions and the need to tell people the bad things I’d done. But I still wonder if I really am just putting it on, because this excitement to tell people isn’t exactly conventional. Nobody WANTS OCD, so why do I?

Username: YoxYox

Date posted: 5y ago

Eden, I worry about the same thing all the time. I don’t have an easy answer except that only a person with OCD would worry about not having OCD.

Username: sassy_classy_lassiesassy_classy...

Date posted: 5y ago

I think this is pretty normal. Although the conscious act of faking other mental illnesses for attention is, ironically, a sort of mental illness in itself - almost like Munchausen Syndrome, just with mental health - it sounds like you have legitimate OCD. And many people without the above desire for mental illness may experience temporary or long-term desires to be diagnosed with mental illnesses for their own reasons (this can be unconscious within the mind as well). My point is, of course, that yes, it sounds like you have OCD, and a professional diagnosis will most likely help to prove it. And not only that, but wanting a mental illness can be pretty normal, particularly within the OCD community. It’s great that you’re wanting to raise awareness for this community, and I wish you the best of luck in your diagnosis and treatment plan!

Username: garden garden

Date posted: 5y ago

Thanks guys! My my issue is that, even though I think about it a lot and it pisses me off, the idea that I’m faking it doesn’t cause me much anxiety at the moment. I guess that’s because my obsessions have been pretty minimal lately and I’m doing okay (because this time a month ago, it definitely did cause me stress). Djdhhsjsh idk I just feel like it has to get bad again for me to get properly diagnosed!

Username: garden garden

Date posted: 5y ago

For example, the other day I got diagnosed with TMJ (it’s a weird bone thing -physical not mental) and I wasn’t even upset about it. In fact I was pretty happy because it made me feel unique and I wanted to tell people. My TMJ isn’t all that bad, and if it was worse or if it was a different, more dangerous condition, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way. But it’s so attention seeking to be HAPPY about a disorder and I hate that I am. So what if this is what I’m doing with OCD?

Username: Tolly537

Date posted: 6y ago

So I have OCD about OCD itself. Like I will be talking about harm OCD or POCD that I struggle/struggled with as a kid and it come up sometimes now but it was rlly bad as a kid (I’m 16 now) and then I’ll worry “what if you don’t have harm ocd or pocd, and when you have pocd you can’t get the images and thoughts out of your head but because it doesn’t make you feel as physically sick as sexuality OCD what if I’m making my POCD and harm OCD up for attention?! Can anyone relate...

Username: Mailey

Date posted: 5y ago

Omg so keep In mind I havent been disgnosed. I say that only because I feel Im faking it sometimes to get attention its really frustrating but I sometimes obsess over OCD and if I have it or not. If my anxiety is bad and my thoughts arent good Ill research symptoms or like common things and types and its SO FRUSTRATING. Its like a mind f*ck. Like you think you have this but are scared to ever claim or talk about it because you dont have a diagnosis and you yourself doubt every part of you. You like focus on it to where you dont know wtf you are even focusing or obsessing about so much over anymore. UGHH Even writing that im like ....what?

Username: feethebee

Date posted: 3y ago

my biggest fear is what if i don't actually have ocd and get exposed as a fraud. im afraid i might have been living a lie the whole time. i keep thinking that im not as ill as others here. i feel like i don't deserve attention, it's like im unconsciously invalidating myself all the time and j can't help but think that im an impostor in disguise. that im just doing this for attention. that i just want to be mentally ill to feel like i fit in somewhere. when i show a new ocd symptom im afraid that oh im probably just copying something that i saw off this app here because i want to feel like i truly do have ocd. i know i most likely have it but im so stuck in this loop of doubt. my ocd isn't as severe as it was in the beginning so that makes me feel even more invalid and i have developed impostor syndrome over the years.

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