What are the best techniques you have learned that help(ed) you go through relationship ocd?

Any tips for maintaining a healthy relationship with ROCD? I know it can be hard and this is my first real relationship so any advice would be appreciated :)

Anyone with Relationship ocd? Can you please share what it’s like for you ?

After dealing with ROCD for over two years, here are some things that helped me with my recovery. 1. Exposure therapy When I would be anxious to kiss my boyfriend, would do it anyway, and this goes for anything that you're anxious about...just do it, the fear will subside, and you'll realize that you're mind was just making a big deal out of it. 2. Cognitive reconstructing. This is pretty much just an exercise that helps you rewire your brain, for example, a lot of people with OCD have a cognitive distortion of perfection, I used to have an obsession about my boyfriend having a little fat on his belly, then I realized that everyone's gonna have a little fat on their belly, it's extremely rare for someone to have zero fat on their belly... I would suggest looking up all the different kinds of cognitive distortions and work on corrected them. Another example would be getting anxious because you found someone else attractive, I had to tell my brain that it's normal to find other people attractive, as long as you're not acting out on the attraction and choosing to stay faithful. 3. Getting to the root of ROCD Most people (if not all) with ROCD don't develop it until they get into a real, loving, committed relationship. It rarely comes when you're not taking someone seriously or when they're not taking yo seriously. What does this tell you? It tells you that ROCD is your brains defense mechanism to keep you from being vulnerable and keep you from getting hurt. The truth is most people with ROCD are afraid of commitment, and this is usually something that's subconscious. 4. Being immature in love, or not knowing what real love is. Usually people with ROCD do not have a good definition of what love is, love is a choice... And I know some people get anxious when you say that love is a choice because they think "what if I don't choose my partner" but the truth is, you can choose, over and over and over. The idea that love is a feeling is what has gotten us in this trap in the first place, love is so much more than a feeling, it is a daily choice. Part of this immaturity also comes from movies and social media, movies that always tell us to go for the most beautiful person in the room, or movies that always tell you, that you always need to have a spark, sparks are not real, chemistry is not real either, I know that “chemistry” is a common trigger word tor people with ROCD, because they wonder if they have chemistry with their current partner...The truth is when you're in a relationship and you're planning to marry or be serious all that matters is that you share the same morals, belief systems, and values...and have mutual respect, and loyalty for one another. If we keep chasing the euphoria (honeymoon phase) that comes when you first get into a relationship, will always be single, always be breaking up with people, and getting with new people to feel the euphoria again, not knowing that this feeling does not last... euphoria is meant to get two people together, so you can have something greater. And real love (love that involves choosing, and not a feeling) is so much better than the euphoric high when you first get with someone, allow yourself to mature in real love. Old people don't have that exciting honeymoon feeling anymore, they stayed married because they chose each other every day, that's real authentic love. 5. Meant to be mindset, or soulmate mindset. The concept of being "meant to be" does not exist, neither does soulmates... You get with someone and you make a decision...trust that you made the right one (non-abusive relationship, no constant cheating, no harsh disrespect, common morals and values). The truth is, you get with someone and you make them your soul mate, you make them your “one” it’s all a choice, all this fancy terms come from movies. Real love requires nurture, and care…learning about each other so you can become better suited for one another over time…expecting to have everything you could ever want in a person is unrealistic, that develops overtime. You create your “one” 6. Calling out OCD on its BS! You need to know that ROCD wants you to remain single, it wants you to keep breaking up with people till you find someone “perfect” which doesn’t exist. For example, if you have the intrusive thought “that guy looks better than my bf, maybe I shouldn’t be with my bf and I should be with him, maybe I’m making a mistake being with my bf” you have to know that if you were to listen to the thought, you’d get with a better looking guy, and then leave that guy for the next good looking guy. It doesn’t make sense, you’ll be alone, and that’s what your brain wants. 7. You are not your thoughts This is crucial for recovery, remember that these thoughts aren’t real, the feelings that come from the thoughts aren’t real either. The thoughts say absolutely nothing about you. An intrusive thought is like a plane that landed in the wrong airport, you don’t inspect it or pick it apart or dwell on it, you just simply send it away! Same for the thoughts, they may land like birds but don’t let them form a nest. I say all this to say…don’t give up!! The man I referred to as my “bf” is now my husband. There is hope!!! I was so afraid to get married but I took the risk, love is a risk and you’ll never “know for sure” if you should be with someone, you take a leap of faith and trust your judgment…I’m so glad I did, my anxiety has greatly reduced after marrying him and I’m so happy and in love with him.