I talked to my mother about what I’m going through. Crying my eyes out. I told her I was worried I didn’t love my partner anymore and that I am so convinced it could be me. My mother told me she went through some pretty bad ocd problems herself but different from mine. My father was abusive to my mother and he told her over and over again no one would ever love or want her. My mom believed it. She was suicidal like me. She told me to stick with what you know and I told her what I know is warped due to the obsessing I’ve done for 8 years... I told her everything I went through. She told me that she admires my relationship with my partner bc we’ve been through a lot that could’ve caused us to break up but we didn’t. I told her what if it is me mom... bc it really feels like it is... she said the same thing as everyone else. You obsessed way too much about it bc you never got help all those years ago. I told her how I miss feeling content and comfortable in my relationship she said it’ll come back but it’s gonna take time. She said that you can’t let your brain control you you control it. I still feel very off right now but I was able to kiss my partner and happily without weird feelings. Then the what if’s came back then I started obsessing about what if he’s boring... so I started feeling off about that.

i have thoughts about incest, specifically from trauma, and i love my boyfriend and we are intimate. 99 percent of the time when i have intrusive thoughts during sex im able to move past them, but yesterday, my mother ended up texting me during it (TMI i know lol), which stressed me out, which caused more intrusive thoughts PLUS groinal responses, then she decided to go into the kitchen that’s RIGHT outside my room, causing more thoughts and feelings, while this was happening me and my bf were intimate in the moment and it felt as if the thoughts and feelings helped me finish, i was trying so hard NOT to think about them that i sortve thought about them on purpose???? it’s weird to explain… i told my bf about it since he knows about my ocd and he suggested we could take a break if it ever got that bad again, but it’s making me question myself and my morals i guess like now i feel like i really enjoy those thoughts and im just making excuses for myself. i feel so horrible and this is so haunting to me my ocd therapist doesn’t even know how to do erp for this according to her and i just feel so stuck

I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.

So while I was washing the dishes and my mother came into the kitchen I decided to tell her about OCD and when I talked about it with her she said something to me that is now worrying me and I can’t stop thinking about. She said “what will your boyfriend think about it? He’s probably gonna think you’re too problematic and leave you” now I feel pressured to tell my bf about the OCD I may have but at the same time I’m worried that he’ll want to leave me and think I’m too sad for him. I don’t know what to do. 😓