- Username
- 7710 ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I felt the same way in my last two relationships. Do I really want to be with this person, blah blah , when we did break up it was very difficult for me to deal with because then I found out how much I really cared. Ocd ruined both of those relationships. I know it. Hope you’re getting the help you need.
Right now I am feeling off after he kissed my cheek... 😞 I ask myself do I really wanna be with him forever? I can’t tell if this off feeling is anxiety or not... but I do know I don’t wanna be with someone else. I am so scared bc righ now I feel like I am saying the polar opposite than that.... 😞 I just wanted to know if anyone on here convinced themselves they weren’t I. Love with their partners?... I cried to my mom and sister saying I don’t wanna break up 😭😭
Hi Amanda, I think it’s unhelpful to rely on your feelings as a sign that everything is okay and that you love your partner. Feeling “off” or bored with your partner and making a judgement about your relationship from that, seems to be the practice of one ocd cognitive distortion called “emotional reasoning”. You’re not always going to have that “in love” feeling but yet you can still love and want to be with your partner just like as the fact that you may love a particular book but not always feel engrossed by it when you pick it up, yet it’s still your favorite book.
I feel like I know I’m lying...
@Mandy7710 I’m sorry about that.. I can understand the feeling. Even when you feel that way, try your best to stay present with your partner. Don’t look to your feelings to determine if you’re doing erp correctly. Erp is a practice that you consistently do despite how you feel.
....I even told them I don’t want someone else and I could tell I was being truthful. But why is it now I am near him I feel so off...
I truly hope you can receive help from an ocd specialist ❣️ I think it’s fair to say that seeking reassurance and engaging in compulsions is keeping you in this painful cycle. It’s hard for everyone to practice erp, but it truly is what helped me and many others as well as therapy!
I feel so off and numb... I love him, I don’t wanna break up with him... I am just worried I don’t wanna make love with him anymore but I still touch his butt.
i have thoughts about incest, specifically from trauma, and i love my boyfriend and we are intimate. 99 percent of the time when i have intrusive thoughts during sex im able to move past them, but yesterday, my mother ended up texting me during it (TMI i know lol), which stressed me out, which caused more intrusive thoughts PLUS groinal responses, then she decided to go into the kitchen that’s RIGHT outside my room, causing more thoughts and feelings, while this was happening me and my bf were intimate in the moment and it felt as if the thoughts and feelings helped me finish, i was trying so hard NOT to think about them that i sortve thought about them on purpose???? it’s weird to explain… i told my bf about it since he knows about my ocd and he suggested we could take a break if it ever got that bad again, but it’s making me question myself and my morals i guess like now i feel like i really enjoy those thoughts and im just making excuses for myself. i feel so horrible and this is so haunting to me my ocd therapist doesn’t even know how to do erp for this according to her and i just feel so stuck
I have been with my SO going in 13 years now. We met in college and have been together ever since. We got married in 2021 and welcomed a baby girl in the world last year. I had a severe mental breakdown in 2013 that landed me in the hospital because I was contemplating suicide. That breakdown nearly destroyed our relationship. I had severe intrusive thoughts and felt the need to tell him all of them. I felt like if I didn’t tell him, I was lying. I destroyed his self esteem, telling him all of the mean thoughts I had about him. I would feel the need to tell him anytime I saw an attractive guy in public, I questioned our relationship and told him I wasn’t sure if I loved him anymore. It was bad and very dark. Fast forward to now and I feel like I’m letting him down in different ways. I don’t feel the need to tell him every thought I have now but since having my daughter my OCD and depression seem to be getting worse. I just feel like I’m no longer happy and my daughter should’ve had a mom that wasn’t damaged like me. Didn’t have the abusive childhood like me. Wasn’t broken like me. I feel so much guilt. It’s putting such a strain on our relationship and I feel like my husband deserves someone better. Someone whose happier.
So while I was washing the dishes and my mother came into the kitchen I decided to tell her about OCD and when I talked about it with her she said something to me that is now worrying me and I can’t stop thinking about. She said “what will your boyfriend think about it? He’s probably gonna think you’re too problematic and leave you” now I feel pressured to tell my bf about the OCD I may have but at the same time I’m worried that he’ll want to leave me and think I’m too sad for him. I don’t know what to do. 😓
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